We have never looked forward to anything like we have this episode of television.
All week we’ve been stopping people on the street and standing too close to their faces while yelling: “SUNDAY AND MONDAY WILL BE THE BEST TWO NIGHTS OF TELEVISION THIS COUNTRY HAS EVER SEEN DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”
We then whispered, “It will be like the royal wedding, but dirtier…” before finding someone else to alert.
How does one calm oneself when we know a drink is thrown and our darling Cyrell is held back from murdering a woman?
We open on MEL who speaks exclusively in SHOUTING and goodness how we’ve missed you.
All she wants is the gossip. Her eyes are frantic as she salivates repeating the line, “Ijustwanttoknow.”