We open on Jules and Cam who are apparently “chirpier than usual this morning,” but how is that possible.
It turns out that last night they got… intimate. In the words of Jules, “we took intimacy to the deepest level possible,” and omg did you have anal or no.
Over in Ning and Mark’s apartment, however, precisely no one is having anal.
Ning shouts that she’d like to “KEEP MA PRIVATES PRIVATE” and then when Mark agreeably says, “baby steps,” she decides that she doesn’t like the phrase baby steps so Mark dutifully adds it to the list of shit he’s not allowed to do or say anymore.
But it’s ‘Yes’ week for Mark, so he decides to take Ning to the gym for an intense full body work out which she never once consented to.
It’s uncomfortable because Mark clearly wants to be the next Commando Steve on The Biggest Loser, but sir, that show was cancelled
for a reason a million reasons.
Ning starts crying because Commando Mark is being very serious about her shitty workout, and we swear we hear him mutter something about how she'll regret it at the weigh in.
Eventually, Ning decides she doesn't like this side of Mark at all, specifically the side that demands she exercise when she clearly doesn't want to.
She keeps yelling that she "DIDN'T EVEN PAY" which feels like an argument for the other side but we'll let it slide because Ning is justifiably traumatised from that time she had to do push ups while someone kept repeating in her ear, "PAIN IS TEMPORARY GLORY LASTS FOREVER".
There is no glory here, Commando Mark. None at all.