Jessika has decided to leave Mick’s home stay early, on account of the time he called everyone she’s ever loved a ***** *** ***** ***.
Back at their apartment in Sydney, she’s ripped their names off the door and THIS is the level of pettiness we strive for.
Mick returns not long after, and sits on the lounge with his hands behind his head, which is not at all an appropriate pose for a man who called a lot of people c**ts on television last night.
Jess turns the kettle on as Mick stares into space and there’s weird camera angles like a close up of Mick playing with Jess’ wedding ring and, look. We don’t want to be harsh, but we do not have time to watch some camera man teach himself how to make a feature film right now.
We understand that the boiling kettle represents the rising tension but, repeat after us, we are not here for the metaphors we are here for the gossip as well as the occasional violence.
They get ready for the imminent dinner party, before Mick says, "let's get separate cabs" and Jesus mate Channel Nine does NOT have that kind of budget.
Meanwhile, Susie and Billy are working out how they're going to pretend to be a normal couple at the dinner party, even though Billy is cowering in the corner, whimpering intermittently, while Susie yells: "BAD DOG, DARLING".
Susie tells the camera how surprised she is that they're both still alive. Well, mostly that Billy is alive. Because that means the poison didn't work. FFS.