It’s the morning after the GEWLZ night and the women are very busy telling their husbands precisely what happened.
At first, the husbands don’t care.
But as is the case with all men and gossip, the minute it pertains to them directly, they care immensely.
"APPARENTLY MARK SAID TO MICK 'WE'RE GOING TO GO OUT AND F*CK BITCHES'," Martha tells Michael and holy shit this story would be a lot easier to follow if all your names weren't a derivative of Michael.
In Jess' apartment, she's telling the camera how her and Mick are "civil", and there's precisely nothing civil about the fact you a) cheat on him and b) won't let him leave.
It's Mike. And his eyes are broken.
Heidi tried to put eyeliner on him (?) but it irritated his eyes and now he's rubbed it into the iris and it's stinging.