reality tv

The Twins recap Married at First Sight: Olivia believes she's been 'gaslighted'.

To catch up on all the MAFS 2022 recaps and gossip, visit our MAFS hub page.

We open on Selina asking Cody a question. 

And yeah. It's whether or not he considers himself 'single'. And if he might sleep with other people when he goes home. Which is an awkward conversation to have with your husband of seven weeks. 

She tells the camera that she's trying to work out if they're on the same page and Selina the man who pulled a swamp suit prank on you not even a week ago is not on the same page as anyone, do you hear? 

Meanwhile, Domenica inexplicably appears to have a bandage around her head which is what seven weeks of Married at First Sight will do to a person.

'A doctor told me to try to preserve what's left.'

Next door, Liv can't stop crying ever since she told her husband (as well as the nation) that she has no empathy. 

She explains that she wants Jackson by her side for the rest of her life because he supports her even when she is deliberately mean to others which is the kind of man she hoped to find. 

She has now turned against the experts who have suggested that holding a grudge might be a character flaw.

"Cool. I know that. I like that about me," she says to Jackson who stopped listening three hours ago.

ADVERTISEMENT

'Do I risk a fart? Knowing it could end badly?'

But there are more critical issues at hand. 

Namely, that Married at First Sight Season 9 has a Monday night episode to fill, and very little content to fill it with.

That's where 'REFLECTIONS WEEK' - which is absolutely not a thing - comes in. 

A producer clearly discovered that they had not hit their fight quota for the year, and so was given the task of starting some s**t.

Yes, Sir.

The couples are tasked with watching how their partner reacted when they first saw them on their wedding day, and are we seriously watching television of participants watching themselves on television not even two months ago? (Yes). 

'In that it was filmed 6-8 weeks ago, and I was there.'

ADVERTISEMENT

We watch as Tamara tells the camera that Brent is too short and not her type and she's not really feeling it, but they both decide that's actually quite kind for Tamara, so move swiftly along. 

Selina and Cody prepare to watch their wedding video back and Selina.

Remember. This is a man with no tact and even less emotional intelligence. May we suggest stepping away from the iPad. And potentially onto a bus. Home. To your family. 

They watch as Cody basically says that Selina came on too strong. He's like "lol chill out" and it's like lol maybe if you want to 'chill out' you don't marry a complete stranger lol x.

'Like full smiling and stuff.'

ADVERTISEMENT

In the footage, he says Selina isn't the "beaches" girl he's used to and suggests she's "mesmerised" by him and Jesus, Cody. Just grab the iPad and throw it from the balcony, how hard is it. 

The next part of 'Reflections Week' (??) is providing feedback on other couples' relationships. A task we'd all enjoy in our real lives. Because we absolutely have opinions and also advice we'd like to share. 

But we don't. Because that is toxic.

Tamara and Brent have to provide feedback to Ella and Mitch but there's a problem. Neither Tamara or Brent have their pen license. 

SO HOW CAN WE WRITE THIS LETTER THEN?

They'd much prefer to just give Ella and Mitch their advice via yelling at the next Commitment Ceremony, but alas that's not an option. So they write it in (illegal) pen, and ultimately suggest that Ella and Mitch go through each other's phones for five minutes. As a trust exercise. They made up. Under the firm guidance of expert Alessandra. 

ADVERTISEMENT

It's genius because we can't stress the extent to which we are certain that Mitch has something incriminating in his phone.

Ella acts hesitant, saying she's never been through a partner's phone, and then proceeds to scroll through every photo and message and maybe phone call and WhatsApp she possibly can in five minutes.

That's when she comes across a folder on Mitch's phone that has its own passcode.

Well. Mitch says she can't look inside that one. Because it's where he speaks to his other girlfriends. Privately.

'Like I'm either actively cheating on you or looking at nudes of other women. That's all.'

He eventually explains that the 'photo vault' (??) is full of graphic, inappropriate, private p*rn, but can't clarify whether there are photos of his ex partners in there. So. That's disturbing.

The best thing about this phase of the experiment is that the producers and experts have given up entirely on giving the show any structure or logic. 

Do all couples watch each other's 'first impressions'? Na, just the ones where the footage is likely to start *h*t. Does every couple give another couple feedback? No... but here's an idea.

What if Olivia and Jackson. Had to write a letter. To Domenica and Jack. Giving feedback. On their marriage.

ADVERTISEMENT

Liv refuses to engage in such a ridiculous task before snatching the pen off Jackson and writing a short novella. 

She remarks that all Jack and Domenica do is talk about their dogs and OK you've literally offended every couple in the country. Because what the f**k else are we meant to talk about? And relatedly, have you seen my (Jessie's) dog? Chilli? And my (Clare's) dog? Caesar?

Domenica is also very excited to give Jackson and Liv feedback on their (s**t) marriage.

When Liv and Jackson receive their... report... they discover that Jack and Domenica think they are "exhibiting signs of co-dependency" which makes Liv laugh hysterically and we don't get the joke may you explain it. 

They suggest that Jackson and Liv spend a night apart but Jackson hasn't even heard the end of that sentence before his bags are packed and he's heading to a private hotel room to go to the toilet with the door open and eat KFC. 

"I'm fine. I'm so fine," Liv says and okay then why are there tears streaming down your face mask. 

You seem... furious.

ADVERTISEMENT

With Jackson out of the house, Liv engages in her favourite pastime: spiralling. 

She decides that Jackson was "taken from [her]" at her most vulnerable, and she doesn't know why she would stay in an experiment designed to bring out the worst in her and... oh Liv. If only you had made this decision three weeks ago. Things would be so different. 

When they're reunited, Liv tells Jackson that she's been "railroaded, gaslighted, attempts at assassination," and lady you've spiralled even deeper than we expected. 

Jackson's all like, 'ugh I wanna go back to eating KFC alone on the toilet with Drive to Survive on in the background' and yes, well. 

Welcome to a monogamous, heterosexual relationship. 

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

For more MAFS commentary and lols, you can follow Clare and Jessie Stephens on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

You can also listen to their comedy podcast, CANCELLED.  

You can read the previous MAFS recaps here:

Image: Nine Network. 

Want to have your voice heard? Plus have the chance to win $100? Take our survey now.