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The Twins recap Married at First Sight: Um. Did Liv really just say that.

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Tonight is the final Commitment Ceremony of the experiment, and we'd almost be worried that our favourite hobby was coming to an end if we didn't know from experience that they'll have 17 nights of final vows and a 3 night reunion special. 

But we can't get too far ahead of ourselves. Because no one has recovered from the dinner party, including us.

We begin with Domenica and Jack laying in bed wondering why the f*ck everyone on this show is so f*cked and idk but good question. We're still incredibly confused as to how someone as rational and reasonable and emotionally intelligent as Jack got onto this show but we digress. 

You see, Olivia is done with the Dom saga now. So if everyone could just stop talking about the nude photo she intentionally circulated a few days ago to every single person she'd ever met that would be great. 

'Lol everyone needs to chill.' 

"That is ancient history," she tells Jackson and sweetie it literally happened last night. 

Meanwhile, Cody is in trouble with his wife Selina and also the nation ever since he yelled DOM HAS A NAKED PHOTO HAHA DO U RECKON SHE'S A SLUT JACK to a table of adults. 

He decides to deliver Selina flowers and says "these are from Cody" which is a strange thing to say. He's sorry he upset Selina but mate you also slut-shamed someone on TV? If you also? Want to address that? Issue?

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Back in Domenica's apartment, she's slowly putting together that Liv not only circulated an image of her but then definitely lied about how she came across it. You see, Liv claimed her 'friend' googled Domenica after Domenica broke a glass in her face. But it's like: why would you get a friend to Google for you. When Google is right there. For you to use. On your closest device. 

We think. We think that's unequivocally the case.  

"I don't know what the intention was..." Domenica says and, oh. We're so sorry for the confusion. It was to humiliate and shame you in front of as many people as possible. 

Suddenly, Dom decides she must urgently find out more information from Liv, who conveniently lives next door. She yells at the camera crew that she WILL be confronting her nemesis immediately so they better hurry up and get the mics sorted but also the lighting if necessary. 

Liv answers the door and says, "hello, how are you?" and Dom shouts, "THAT'S IRRELEVANT," and if we could just respond with that every time someone greeted us with a pleasantry life would be a whole lot better.

Dom asks Liv a few questions about where the photo is and who googled her, but Liv has had enough. 

"I dont need this actually. I don't need you coming into my house and yelling..." she argues and OK with all due respect, that isn't your house. It says John Aiken. On the lease. So.

 'It's really disrespectful.'  

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As the couples start deliberating about their decisions before the Commitment Ceremony, it becomes clear that Al thinks he went on a date with Sam. When they just happened to snorkel in the same ocean. And Sam had to carry the mental load of remembering all Al's beach accessories, like his bucket and spade, his hat, his beach ball, and so on. 

Al tries to talk to Jackson about his feelings towards the woman who has inexplicably been given the responsibility of raising him on national television, and Jackson is clearly like.. okay. I don't want to make this all about me. But my wife is a demon. 

Jackson suggests Al thinks about Sam's feelings and Al is like I don't understand.

??? 

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SHUT UP IT'S TIME FOR THE COMMITMENT CEREMONY AND DOM AND JACK ARE FIRST.

Immediately, John Aiken clarifies that we are talking about ONE photo that was circulated behind Dom's back and thank you this is a courtroom and we need to know the scope of the evidence.

"Liv, how did you go about finding it?" John asks and okay, very good question. No one seems to be acknowledging that Liv initially told everyone she googled Dom and found the photo. But now she's saying her friend googled Dom and when the stakes are this high we simply must know the facts.

"In short, the internet," Liv answers and SOMEONE PUT HER ON THE STAND FOR QUESTIONING THIS IS THE BIGGEST MORAL ISSUE OF OUR TIME.

John Aiken asks what would possess her to distribute the photo, trying to highlight that it is an awful coincidence that the person who sent the photo also hates Domenica more than anyone in the whole wide world. 

Liv is like oh... um. Hatred? Disdain? Wanting to cause distress but also reputational damage? Um um making all the women here hate her because she got her boobies out and that makes you a slut? Doesn't it John Aiken? Make you a slut?

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But John Aiken and the rest of the nation do not think it makes you a slut. 

Liv suggests that Domenica is really just upset because she "lost control of the group" and that is enough from you Liv. 

....What. 

John Aiken has prepared a lecture, and yeah, there's a PowerPoint presentation to go with it. 

He asks the group if anyone sees an issue with an explicit image being circulated without someone's knowledge and everyone's like "No Sir that seems like a reasonable and kind thing to do in that we knew, Liv, who shared it, only ever had Domenica's best interests at heart". 

"She was ambushed," he says, checking his palm cards.

"It's. Not. Okay." And honestly how much work can one man be expected to do in a single day. 

Suddenly Mel interjects, asking Dom how she's feeling about Jack and with all due respect no one gives a shit. 

They decide to 'Stay' and ok no one cares about the decision just go straight to Liv. 

Instead, the experts go to Selina and Cody and bla bla bla can someone just get Cody in trouble for being such a d**k last night.

Expert Mel asks if Selina was able to "de-code Code" this week and we want to die. While Mel. Is stoked. With her use of the word 'de-code'. 

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There's sexual tension between Cody and Mel and we didn't want to bring it up but f**k it.

Mel pls. Selina is right there. 

Cody and Selina decide to stay despite the swamp suit incident but also everything else.

Tamara and Brent are next, and Tamara is feeling kind of flat ever since she learned it's (allegedly) inappropriate to slut shame Dom for having an Only Fans account. 

Brent, however, is fired up, because he feels passionately that pillows do not ever belong on the floor and look we simply cannot get invested in this argument when Liv is just moments away from being yelled at by at least one - possibly three - experts. 

Next up is Sam who is relieved that she and her son, Al, have become friends again. 

'Mostly because I never signed up to be his mother.'

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But. Al. Sad. 

He knows he has to be mature, and consider where his mum's feelings are at - and that it might be time for her to live her own life, without caring for a baby that isn't even hers. 

Before anyone asks for his decision, Al shouts "LEAVE" signalling the end of a relationship that really should have been illegal. 

Alessandra makes a joke about Al "having a little more time in the oven" and REWIND WHY DID YOU MATCH A GROWN WOMAN WITH A BABY IT CREATED A LOT OF CHAOS. 

'Who came up with that crazy idea.' 

But shut the f**k up because it's time for Olivia and Jackson. 

"We had homestays this week, they were amazing," Jackson begins and oh honey no one cares about your homestays. 

We care about the drama. And on a similar note, the gossip. 

But John, who we assumed would be burnt out from the eight second lecture he delivered earlier, says: "Let me just jump in there."

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He tells Liv and Jackson they look miserable, but Liv argues that they're not miserable with each other. She's simply miserable with the situation as it's very distressing to live among this drama (which she created by typing in the keywords 'Domenica naked pic' and then intentionally distributing it to everyone associated with the top rating reality show, Married at First Sight). 

'So we're actually fine.'

Mel jumps in and adds, "you're the one who circulated the photo..." but silly Mel. Liv doesn't care about the photo!!

"What's she's put out there on the internet... it's not really my business," Liv argues and OKAY BUT THEN WHY DID U GOOGLE IT AND THEN SHARE IT. 

Alessandra suggests that maybe it's a case of respecting other people's privacy. But this is Liv's favourite argument. "It's not private though," she explains. "It's public." 

SO ARE OUR YEAR 8 SWIMMING CARNIVAL RESULTS, OLIVIA. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYONE SHOULD LOOK THEM UP AND CIRCULATE THEM. 

It's at this point the producers decide to explicitly edit Liv's words so she comes across as a complete and utter psychopath. 

Expert Alessandra encourages Liv to use a little 'human empathy'. 

"It's just not me," Liv says. "As far as empathy, I just don't have it."

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From the reactions among the group, it's clear that is just... not at all what Liv actually said. In that moment. And there's crucial context missing. Context that would make her words significantly less exciting. 

'You're going to edit it aren't you.'

But this is prime time. And if we can get a polarising woman to (appear to) say she has no empathy then DEAR GOD WE MUST RUN WITH IT. 

Alessandra suggests that maybe Liv's lack of empathy explains why she circulated a nude photo of another woman for no reason. But that's upsetting to Liv. Who is now crying. Because she might have tried to humiliate someone but that shouldn't mean she gets lectured about it? On the television?

Ultimately, Liv and Jackson talk about how they feel about each other and Mel is like maybe you focus on that rather than circulating naked photos of other contestants xxx

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

For more MAFS commentary and lols, you can follow Clare and Jessie Stephens on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

You can also listen to their comedy podcast, CANCELLED.  

You can read the previous MAFS recaps here:

Image: Nine Network. 

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