Nasser has woken up very peacefully in his ghost-free apartment, and, no, he shan’t be putting any pants on.
What he would like, he explains, is for Gab to come back and sincerely apologise for trying to make him stay in an apartment that has evil spirits in it. He found it very scary but also distressing, so obviously did what any man would: left Gab there alone to deal with the ghosts herself.
Gab finally arrives at the apartment, and Nasser begins vacuuming her suitcases to get the spirits off them and that is most definitely not a thing.
WHAT’S HAPPENED TO NASS? We discuss the fact he’s probably a demon now on our MAFS recap podcast. Post continues.
It is clear that since Nasser stayed overnight in the haunted apartment he has become possessed by a demon and we just don’t know if Married at First Sight has insurance for this kind of thing.
Gab does not apologise to demon, but Nasser tells the camera, “She understood, she just doesn’t want to admit it,” and no, Nasser. Precisely no one understands.
Mel and John have done well to mostly avoid ghost-related arguments, and are visiting the hot springs.
Their relationship has moved to a phase that consists exclusively of giving each other compliments, and then kissing on the lips. It's nice if not slightly repetitive.
Meanwhile, Carly is seeking the help of friends to explain that her fake husband a) went to Milan last week for no reason, b) won't stop trying to sell her an ice cream machine, and c) may or may not be a fake millionaire.
Her friends listen patiently and then essentially say: Na srsly tho wtf are you still doing with this human he sounds like the worst.
SHHH SHUT UP IT'S TIME FOR THE DINNER PARTY AND SOMETHING ABOUT AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM PLS.
Troy and Ashley are getting ready, and Troy keeps insisting their clothes should match which is not at all true. It feels very Year 10 formal and Ashley is having none of it.
He changes his shirt 13 times and why does Troy have so many shirts.
Telv is wearing a tuxedo and Sarah says that if anyone touches him she will get very upset as would we all.
But Justin is also wearing a very nice suit which leads us to the conclusion that yes, there's obviously been a group text about what everyone is wearing tonight and no, Troy was not in it.
When Troy shows up he is horrified by how under dressed he is. For the last few weeks he has just worn a shirt and it's BEEN FINE who just CHANGES A DRESS CODE without even telling TROY.
Troy casually says to Ashley, "I just wonder how to announce to people that I'm moving to Queensland..." and we think maybe he should tell dolphin first and then just go be with his species.
A waiter who is being paid to act European enters the room and says "DIN-VAR IS SARV-ED" and honestly nothing could possibly make these dinner parties classy so pls stop trying.
In a casual conversation about hall passes Ashley mentions that Zac Efron is hers, because of his face, six pack, non-Troyness, etc. Someone says Troy has a six pack and Ashley says "a six pack of rolls" and no literally everyone laughs. Including the experts. Who are meant to be mental health professionals. Making fun of Troy has become an activity that brings so much joy to so many people, regardless of gender, race, relationship status, education or profession.
Troy tries to say he was ripped a few months ago, to which Ashley replies "no you weren't" and again with the laughter. Troy says he was kidding, which he most definitely wasn't, but it's fine because everyone is already laughing at him.
MEL'S DAUGHTER IS IN LABOUR PLS and as she's leaving to be with her daughter in Melbourne, Nasser asks, "if it's a boy, can you suggest they name him Nasser?"
Not to be rude but:
- Nasser it's impossible to tell whether it's you or the demon speaking, and
Mel explains that they already know the baby is a girl, but tbh, we think Mel might just raise this baby to be a girl so she never has to have a conversation about why they didn't call him Nasser.
Gab gives a toast with a genuine sentiment about love/being kind to each other, and Nasser is pissed because he is always the one to do the toast. Moments later, Sarah also calls for a toast, and says "I need to address the elephant in the room".
OMG THERE ARE SO MANY ELEPHANTS WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.
Nasser being a demon?
Troy being a dolphin?
Justin selling fake ice cream machines?
Oh. She tells everyone that she and Telv had sex, and yeah, that is an announcement that deserved a toast.
Dean wants to be part of the group ever since he cheated on his wife then blamed someone else for it, and luckily, demon Nasser holds no grudges against Dean.
He invites Dean to come bitch with he and Justin and omg no Dean starts giving relationship advice and no one wants it.
Justin explains that it's just not happening with Carly, and Dean says that was also how he felt with Tracey, and "now look at us".
Pls no one look at them.
Oh no. Now Dean has decided it's a good idea to take Telv aside for a chat about their argument last week, but just because demon Nasser has forgotten, doesn't mean other people have.
We debrief on all the best moments from last night's dinner party, on our MAFS recap podcast. Post continues after.
As Dean approaches Telv, John Aiken says "security get ready"' and it's like mate... I'm pretty sure you're meant to be security.
Telv immediately calls Dean an "arrogant arsehole," and says if Tracey was his sister, he'd tell her to leave him. While their interaction is intense, we're far more distracted by the fact that they both look like they're at completely different social events because Telv is wearing a literal tux and Dean... isn't.
Tracey is making a toast and seriously, NO MORE FKN TOASTS.
Oh Jesus. No. She's not. She's telling everyone about how she and Dean have been rapping. She's going to... oh. She's going to show them how they rap.
We're not going to cover this because we've said it once and we'll say it again: we never agreed to write about people in their thirties rapping badly. And the cringe is physically painful.
Once everyone has stopped vomiting from the embarrassment of the rap, Nasser starts bitching about his terrible week with Gab. He says if she was standing there naked in front of him, nothing would happen.
Omg Real Nasser would srsly punch Demon Nasser if he heard that.
Charlene, a frankly undervalued addition to this season, takes Gab aside and tells her that her fake husband is bitching about her... audibly.
Gab is hurt and confused, and honestly if everyone just believed the fact that a) Gab's apartment was haunted, and b) it led to Nasser being possessed, everything would make much more sense.
UNTIL SUNDAY NIGHT.