A wise person once said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.”
It would seem that person was referring explicitly to Married at First Sight.
You see, this experiment is… how shall we put this nicely… flawed in every sense of the word and the greatest scientific failure of the 21st century. Over the last three years we’ve watched a frankly absurd number of people get fake married AND FOR WHY?
Of the 23 couples to be matched by the experts, 22 have failed.
We don’t… like those odds.
But you know who does like those odds?
Yes. Dr Trisha Stratford.
But we shan't let basic mathematics or scientific theory get in the way of the best show on television.
We're told 5,000 Australians applied to be on this season of Married at First Sight which sounds like a lie but okay. One woman says through tears that she never thought she'd be "nearly 40 with nobody and nothing to show" and she seems to have conflated two very separate things but no one corrects her.
The experts begin with 38-year-old Sarah, who a few years ago was engaged and pregnant with twins. Her fiance left her, and soon after she miscarried both babies. Trisha describes her as "emotionally very vulnerable," but then adds that her "biological click is ticking" which feels particularly unhelpful at this time.
At this point, John Aiken draws her future fake husband from a hat, and we meet a man who is not white, and therefore has his name offensively mispronounced for the next hour.
Telf, or Talf, or Telve has a kind face and we feel satisfied.