We open with a producer who is pretty much in bed with Sarah and Telv yelling, “DID YOU DO SEX LAST NIGHT? OR NAH? OR LIL’ BIT?”.
Everyone needs to chill because it’s 7:30 on a week night. They had some cake which I’m sure we can all agree is superior to sex in every way.
We have some concerns.
LISTEN: We debrief on the biggest talking points from tonight’s episode of Married at First Sight. Post continues below.
Last night went a little too… well. Neither couple seemed repulsed by each other, which is making us suspicious. Something is going down tonight, and we’re ready with snacks.
First, we meet Matthew.
He thinks he’s a bit of a larrikin, which we think might be code for calling women’s breasts “honkers.” But he is a man of many shades, evidenced by his fake crying on the lounge while holding a cover of The Notebook.
Matthew is matched with a woman named Alycia who has been planning her wedding for years. Which is sad. Because now all her dreams are about to be ruined. On the television.
EXPERT MATCH THREE: Alycia and Matthew