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The Twins recap Married at First Sight: The 'evidence' that destroys Melissa.

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We open on Belinda and Patrick laying beside each other in bed and greetings, did you have sex Y/N. 

Patrick shouts immediately that they did indeed get intimate and yeah, he thinks the tuba had something to do with it. 

It becomes clear that Belinda definitely thinks you just have sex the one time and then it's fin, and shot gun not... telling her. The truth. 

Over in Beck and Jake's apartment, Beck hasn't returned from visiting her sick dog mostly because her sick dog isn't real. 

To everyone's surprise, she suddenly arrives home and even says she missed Jake which is the shock of the season.

"The hospital really worked lol."

Jason and Alana are living in separate apartments ever since Alana chose gossip over her husband (respect), but today, Jason has put on a suit and at this point we've actually forgotten what everyone's getting dressed up for.

Oh. 

That's right.

Final dates.

Which is a strange... phrase... given they're meant to be... married. Indefinitely. 

Jason says the one rule is that they're not allowed to talk about Bryce or anyone else from the experiment. Only them. 

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Quick question: Can we talk about your friendship with Bryce or is that also off limits.

But Jake has some pressing questions he wants to ask Beck on their final date. 

He wants to know if Beck will try to leave him every week on the outside as well, or only inside the experiment. 

Jake tells Beck he likes her and she's all like "I don't know what you need from me". 

"At the end of the day, you don't have banter," she kindly explains. "But I like how supportive you are. Especially when I made up that my dog was sick and you politely went along with it."

Cool. 

"I think the biggest challenge we'll face is the logistic challenge," Jake says and respectfully, we disagree. 

"That plays into it I suppose."

He asks if she's thinking about having kids in the next few years and Beck's like I DON'T BELIEVE IN TIME and are you literally having a fight about time right now?? (Yes). 

Over on Jason and Alana's date, they're talking pragmatically about where they'll live.

Alana asks if he'll move to the Gold Coast, where she lives and works as a school teacher, and... how do we put this.

You definitely no longer have a job.

"Like. There's a petition." 

SHUT THE F**K UP COZ IT'S BOYS AND GIRLS NIGHT. AND EVERYONE'S COMING BACK EVEN COCO

Sam tells the camera that it's inevitable there will be "trouble tonight" in that he will personally start that trouble. With Bryce. Specifically. And thank you Sam we appreciate it. 

As they all arrive, Belinda sits the girls down and tells them about how her and Patrick did the sex finally and that's done! What's next! 

Everyone is excited but slightly confused. Belinda's story starts with Patrick on a field and there's a tuba and he cartwheels and they're unsure if she's retelling a very strange... dream... or a real life scenario. 

But nevermind that because Samantha has received some "bombshell" news for one of the wives and omg is it about Kerry (no). 

In her hometown of Canberra, she heard something about Bryce that she just must tell Melissa or else she couldn't sleep at night. 

As the old contestants are arriving to boiz night/gewls night, Russell tells the camera about how much red meat he's been eating etc. and OK but why are producers asking Russell exclusively about how much meat he's been eating and how, specifically, he is cooking it? How is that kind? 

At the gewls night, Beck tells all the ladies about the time Bryce told her about his secret girlfriend. 

They turn around and ask Melissa how she feels, and she insists she believes Bryce - AKA she thinks Beck, who is sitting in front of her, is a liar. 

They all cheers to Bryce being lucky to have Melissa and that's just not... it. 

Oh. Samantha is running late because she's been spilling all the tea to an enthusiastic producer. 

You see, there's a girl waiting for Bryce to get off the show. Because she's his... girlfriend. 

SAM HAS SEEN THE TEXTS.

SHE HAS THE RECEIPTS. 

WE REPEAT. THE WOMAN HAS THE RECEIPTS. 

At the boiz night, the other Sam is here, and he says Bryce should be "nervous".

Bryce recounts what happened with Beck and yeah it doesn't make him sound... good.

"I thought it was implicit I didn't want Melissa to know about my private girlfriend."

Just like Leigh Sales interviewing the prime minister, Sam asks, 'Your integrity has been questioned since I left... and everyone hates you, how do you feel about it?"

Bryce does not appreciate the line of questioning, so Sam calls him a "cockhead". 

James asks if perhaps Sam could be a little more constructive in his feedback to Bryce, which Sam takes on board.

"Let me be kinder."

He explains to Bryce that his wife probably doesn't even like him and will leave him after the gewl's night when she hears what he's been up to. 

And then. 

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And then he a little bit calls Bryce 'Fried Bryce'. 

Bryce storms out and we think maybe he is going to get Melissa so she doesn't hear about his girlfriend on the outside which is private. 

Over at the gewls night, Samantha is barely coping.

She opens her mouth to tell Melissa what she knows but there's a primal scream. 

And it's Coco arriving. 

And pointing to her own outfit which we love for her. 

She would like to talk about how, yes, she saw Cam a few times on the outside but it fizzled out and honestly Coco you deserve better. 

But the conversation quickly moves to Melissa, who says that Bryce has "reassured" her he does not have a secret girlfriend and she has to "take that on face value".

THIS IS SAMANTHA'S MOMENT. AND COCO IS SIPPING HER CHAMPAGNE SO CAN'T EVEN INTERRUPT. 

She tells Melissa that there's a girl back in Canberra, who has been messaging and speaking to Bryce throughout the whole experiment. He told her he had to do the show for "exposure" and to further his career in radio. She's waiting for him to come off the show, and Samantha knows this because she spoke to Bryce's best friend. Jason.

This guy. 

"Remember me."

Melissa starts crying and asks Samantha to tell her exactly what happened. 

She relays a conversation she had with Jason, where he spoke candidly about the secret girlfriend etc. etc.

"I am the biggest fool," Melissa says, before breaking down in tears. 

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"Now? Or later?"

We have more feelings than we expected to. 

But mostly, Bryce.

This whole... incident... isn't gonna do much for your budding radio career. 

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UNTIL NEXT WEEK. 

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For more gossip and lols, you can follow Clare and Jessie Stephens on InstagramFacebook and Twitter. 

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In case you missed our previous recaps...

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 26: The Twins recap Married at First Sight: Bryce's secret girlfriend was just... confirmed.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 25: The couple who will never have any friends.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 24: We just learned what Bryce says behind his wife's back.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 23: 'Mate. That was disgusting.'

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 22: No one can stop yelling at Bryce.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 21: The most embarrassing decision we've ever seen.

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The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 20: The man who single-handedly "ruined" a marriage.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 19: Booka just learned how much her husband dislikes her.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 18: When you break up in front of your parents.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 17: The most tone-deaf groom in MAFS history.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 16: Bryce 100%, without a doubt, has a secret girlfriend.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 15: The wife who can't stop insulting her 'grotty' husband.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 14: When your wife ruins a stranger's wedding.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 13: The most embarrassing thing we've ever seen.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 12: "I hope everyone in Australia hates your guts."

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 11: We're kind of... into this cheating scandal.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 10: You can't just force people to have sex.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 9. When you're a d**k to your wife on national television.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 8: The beginning of a dirty cheatin' scandal.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 7: How was any of that... allowed.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 6: John Aiken just changed the rules.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 5: When you see your match and can't stop crying.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 4: A bride just realised she had a one night stand.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 3: Precisely no girl wants to be told she's 'not ugly'.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 2: Coco's husband would like to be brutally honest.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 1: You can't just comment on someone's... teeth.

Feature Image: Nine.