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The Twins recap Married at First Sight: The couple who will never have any friends.

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EXCUSE US it's the final Commitment Ceremony before the final vows so the stakes are moderate. 

Bryce, as always, is doing his part to ruin other marriages. Jason and Alana are struggling ever since Alana accidentally threw her husband, with full force, under a moving f**king bus. 

Alana keeps accidentally telling everyone what Jason says in private. Which he has asked her not to do. But what Jason fails to understand, is that what Jason says in private is also really, really good gossip. For everyone to hear. And we would like to personally thank Alana for her Act of Service to the Australian people. 

"The gossip was, like, really good." 

But Jason still can't get his head around it and sweetie do you not see how good the gossip is? Might you want to look a little closer?

With tears streaming down her face, Alana acknowledges she regrets what she did a little bit but in her defence she'd had four or maybe even six standard drinks and Melissa and Bryce were being exceptionally annoying. 

Speaking of annoying, Melissa and Bryce are getting ready for the Commitment Ceremony and out of NOWHERE Melissa says: "I'm starting to see what everyone else sees."

 

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Wot. 

At the dinner party, Alana revealed that in private Bryce has been saying he'll be "single by New Year's Eve" and belittling Melissa. 

Bryce half-heartedly tries to claim he's being bullied which not even he believes and Melissa politely explains that it's not bullying when people just retell events that are true. 


She storms out of the apartment and says: "I'm actually f**king over it". 

Just before the Commitment Ceremony, Alana has decided to properly apologise to Jason for divulging his private conversations to 14 people at a dinner table but also the national, and potentially international, community. 

Jason mutters that it's not his fault that his best friend is the shittest, and when Alana says "you know he's not a good person" Jason silently agrees.

But Jason can't forgive her. It's like he always says. He came on here to find a new best friend named Bryce. Not a wife. 

"I don't think that's... it." 

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It's time for the couples to deliberate with their friends over their decision for no reason and since when should BRETT really be weighing in on anything. 

"On the retreat I felt like Jake sunk to Bryce's level," Bec says, before explaining that when it comes to Jake, "I'm so confused what I'm going to get." Like is she going to get a nice guy who respects her? Or a guy standing up for her in front of others?? HOW CAN SHE KNOW FOR SURE. 

FINALLY it's time for the Commitment Ceremony and John Aiken begs the couples not to "hold back" because at this point in the season things can get a little boring and we see a ratings dip and the experts get in trouble if there isn't enough yelling. 

"Are we being clear?" 

First up on the couch are Belinda and Patrick, and Belinda explains how during the week she was in the bathroom and decided to take all her clothes off and walk out to Patrick naked. Which sounds like something a toddler does after a toilet accident but okay. 

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Patrick explains cheerfully that "hands went places" and did Alessandra teach you guys to just get naked for no reason while the other person is busy? And confront them with your genitals? Because that can also be a crime?? 

"When our partner is in the middle of something we need to not take our clothes off for no reason." 

Alessandra commends them on being true to themselves but also their progression and what the f**k is going on. 

HUSH NOW IT'S ALANA AND JASON AND WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THIS ONE.

Mel asks with a tone of terror: "What... happened?"

Jason has prepared his case to deliver to the court of John Aiken and submits several pieces of evidence before asking the court, "Am I wrong in thinking that a private conversation with my wife should remain private?" 

The jury (us) thinks that when that conversation is on a reality television show then probably... yes. But objection overruled. Continue.

Alana explains that she is just sick of seeing girls being treated like shit and omg same

But Bryce is not sick of seeing girls being treated like shit and he has a COMMENT. 

He accuses Alana of being a liar and sharing inaccurate information and Sir pls be seated. 

Sir. No.  

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Both Alana and Jason agree that Bryce is most definitely the liar but they'll deal with that later. Ultimately, Alana tells the court experts that she thinks she maybe sabotaged her relationship. But we... disagree. We think she just genuinely did it for the gossip which is also really valid? 

They both decide to stay.

Next up are Bec and Jake, and Jake says he thinks he might need to feel "more wanted" and Jesus we bloody hope so. 

Bec writes leave. But Jake writes stay. Which appears to be... the problem. But alas their relationship continues. 

Next are Booka and Brett, and before they're fully seated Booka explains that this week they both took their pyjama pants off and mashed genitals. 

It appears the genitals, however, weren't enough. 

Both decide to leave and holy shit we've never seen two people look so happy.

"So stoked." 

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Last, it's time for Melissa and Bryce, and Melissa has some things she would like to say. 


She tells the experts and Bryce that this kind of behaviour can't keep happening because "it's toxic" and "it's not healthy" etc. etc.

But hush now. 

Because John Aiken has an important question for Bryce. And it's been on his mind for weeks.

He tells Bryce that he attracts a lot of "attention", first from individuals and now from the group. "Why do you think that's happening?" he asks. 

And. Bryce. Doesn't. Like. It.

"ASK THEM" he insists and sweetie we are not in Year Nine. 

"Also that man with the camera has been mean to me."  

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"You might get along as a couple, but you're not going to have any friends," John Aiken says and WHERE were these insights LITERALLY three weeks ago.

Expert Mel tries to explain the concept of "cause and effect" but Bryce no understand so just keeps pointing at other people. 

It's at this moment that Bryce thinks Melissa might be drifting away from him and forming her own opinions which is worrisome. 

So he takes a deep breath and announces out of nowhere...

"I'm falling in love with Melissa."

 

To be clear, last week he was unsure and a little bit wrote 'leave' and crossed it out because he couldn't find fresh paper. 

Melissa likes this very much and they both decide to stay which is an objectively terrible decision. For all parties.

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

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In case you missed our previous recaps...

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 24: We just learned what Bryce says behind his wife's back.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 23: 'Mate. That was disgusting.'

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 22: No one can stop yelling at Bryce.

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The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 21: The most embarrassing decision we've ever seen.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 20: The man who single-handedly "ruined" a marriage.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 19: Booka just learned how much her husband dislikes her.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 18: When you break up in front of your parents.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 17: The most tone-deaf groom in MAFS history.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 16: Bryce 100%, without a doubt, has a secret girlfriend.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 15: The wife who can't stop insulting her 'grotty' husband.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 14: When your wife ruins a stranger's wedding.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 13: The most embarrassing thing we've ever seen.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 12: "I hope everyone in Australia hates your guts."

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 11: We're kind of... into this cheating scandal.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 10: You can't just force people to have sex.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 9. When you're a d**k to your wife on national television.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 8: The beginning of a dirty cheatin' scandal.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 7: How was any of that... allowed.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 6: John Aiken just changed the rules.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 5: When you see your match and can't stop crying.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 4: A bride just realised she had a one night stand.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 3: Precisely no girl wants to be told she's 'not ugly'.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 2: Coco's husband would like to be brutally honest.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 1: You can't just comment on someone's... teeth.

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