The Twins recap Married at First Sight: The man who single-handedly "ruined" a marriage.

March 24, 2021

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OK.

So Melissa is pretending like the worst part of her relationship with Bryce is his snoring which is a lie.

But in Booka and Brett's apartment, they're sleeping in separate bedrooms ever since they received a 'feedback' letter from Patrick that basically said: "Hey Booka everyone thinks you're annoying and arrogant and also your band isn't that great lol x."

Patrick. Wtf.

Obviously, Booka realised that Patrick's opinion of her is entirely based on conversations he's had with her husband Brett. Which is a worry. Given one piece of feedback was literally, "you think you're really smart..." which sounds like something a Year 9 girl would say.

"I agreed with the overall theme of the letter," Brett says and mate we cannot emphasise enough how much you need to stop saying that.

Brett would just like to move forward, which begins with Booka accepting that she's a bad person/witch/everyone hates her. When Booka refuses to do that, Brett is shook.

Why don't you go bitch to Patrick about me??

Clare and Jessie Stephens

March 24, 2021

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But SHUT UP because it's time for the dinner party and Bryce tells Melissa he thinks "it should be a quiet night for us".

Sweetie. Why on earth would you think that.

Belinda and Patrick are the first to arrive, and yeah, Patrick wants to tell everyone about how his intimacy with Belinda has progressed.

You see, Belinda saw his doodle and can't stop squeezing her eyes shut and squealing.

He corners the next person to arrive and shouts, "YEAH HANDS HAVE MOVED AROUND," and mate, pause. Whose hands went where. We demand to know.

"Are we talking genitals? And if so which ones?" But once Patrick has made his announcement, he grows nervous.

He gets a flashback to that time he wrote a letter where he called Booka an evil crazy b*tch who thinks she's smarter than everyone. He tells the camera he really hopes his "feedback" helped their relationship and oh darling we have terrible news.

John Aiken remarks that he hopes no one took the feedback letters, where people were given direct feedback on themselves as people, too personally.

When Melissa and Bryce arrive, Beck confronts them straight away. She asks what they meant in their feedback letter when they referred to her relationship with Jake as "artificial," and no offence, but the word is just about as straightforward as they get. We'd assume they meant... artificial. Kind of like fake/inauthentic/false/insincere. Unnatural. Contrived. A sham?

Bryce tries not to get cranky because he knows he'll get in trouble from Sir John Aiken, so calmly explains that their s**t relationship looks s**t from the outside and that's all he meant by it.

"Awesome! Just wanted to clarify x." Cool.

As takes their seats at the table, the experts pretend to be shocked that Booka is sitting directly next to Patrick.

Ladies (and John Aiken), pls. Why are you surprised when you clearly did the seating plan.

Patrick, terrified that Booka will confront him about the letter, begins to... choke. On nothing. And then drop his cutlery. And is no one concerned that this man appears to be having a seizure over mains?

Potentially the least concerned person is Beck. Who is very focused on Bryce, who is being annoyingly polite and respectful tonight. All she wants is for him to be naughty. So he gets in trouble again from John.

"Remember last week when you lost your temper..."

"You're so different tonight Bryce..." she says, smirking.

Bryce agrees and no Beck is not liking this at all.

"Hey I have a question...." Beck continues. "Why would you say those things if there was no girl???" referring to their fight from last week and yessssss darling this show does not pay you enough.

But Bryce doesn't bite back.

"WoUlD yOu Do A LiE dEtEcToR tEsT," Beck asks and OK well the devil works hard but Beck works harder.

God Bec.

At the other end of the table, no one has ever been more afraid of anything than Patrick is of a woman named Booka.

Finally, she turns to him and asks what her (weasel) husband Brett has been saying about her.

Immediately, Patrick has a severe allergic reaction to the conversation and begins uncontrollably coughing.

But we're not here to save Patrick's life. We're here to - in the words of John Aiken - SEE HOW PATRICK IS GOING TO PLAY IT. And so everyone waits for Patrick to be done with his allergic reaction and get the f**k on with it.

I REGRET EVERYTHING AND I'M SORRY

Patrick says his... insights... were drawn from conversations he had with Brett, and tries to explain that he was trying to fix their relationship but then accidentally broke it.

Booka asks Brett how he could even moderately like that person described in the letter, who in all honesty sounded like a... psychopath. In response, Brett just keeps putting his head in his hands and begging her to "please stop" and DUDE this all could've been AVOIDED if you'd spoken to YOUR WIFE instead of PATRICK about your ISSUES.

As Brett begins to cry, it dawns on Patrick that maybe, just maybe, he went too far.

"My marriage is ruined," Booka announces and you can pinpoint the exact moment Patrick realises he accidentally blew up his best friend's relationship.

OK so I

think I

broke it. "Are you guys good?" a disembodied voice asks and, Sir, did you only just arrive?

Booka looks traumatised and Brett is rocking back and forth, and for some reason Booka apologises and Brett accepts it without apologising for the time he obliterated her character on national television??

They continue to fight and we don't want to say it but guys, you both need to go home.

You're at a dinner party with fake married couples and you're making it uncomfortable, what with your crying and yelling.

At the other end of the table, Bryce is telling everyone how he'd like to move to Melbourne after the experiment to be with Melissa (and maybe his other girlfriend, depending on what her plans are).

... of course But for reasons that are unclear, Beck and Liam have become best friends and want to start s**t. Beck asks Melissa to sit next to her, and spells out that when Bryce spoke to her in the gym, telling her about the photo ranking challenge and his other girlfriend, he was being flirtatious.