Hello! Yes, it is me again - that Random Person who recapped the last episode. I know I promised you that the twins would be back to recap this episode, but, well, I lied. In my defence, I didn't know I was lying at the time, so it doesn't really count. Also, you should never trust Random People on the Internet, so it's kind of your fault for believing me in the first place. Anyhoo, just reiterating that I have not taken the twins hostage. They'll be back soon. In the meantime, I have heroically stepped in to
waste what little brain cells I have recap THE MOST SHOCKING COMMITMENT CEREMONY IN MAFS HISTORY. That's what the voiceover lady says, anyway. Let's see if it's true, shall we?
We open on Dion in bed alone. "After a tumultuous dinner party, Dion is waking up this morning with clarity," the voiceover lady tells us.
Well, he's certainly not waking up with Carolina, that's for sure. Boom-tish!
Dion is looking forward to the commitment ceremony so he can "speak his truth." We're looking forward to it because we've all seen the promos where they walk out and we want to know why (even though we kind of already know because, contrary to what other people might think, MAFS fans are not idiots).
In a neighbouring suite, Cody and Selina have nicknamed themselves "Colina". It's absolutely terrible. I love it.
They start gossiping about Matt and Kate because their own relationship is so boring and they have nothing else to talk about and also because the producers told them to so that we could nicely transition the next scene to...
Oh look, it's Matt and Kate. Matt sits at the table eating a banana. He once again says he is remorseful about getting drunk the other night. Kate makes a noise that could either mean "I forgive you" or "You suck" or "I'm enjoying eating this baby corn in a yogurt tub". It's hard to tell with Kate.