'I made a pros and cons list of having another baby. The cons list is LONNNNG.'

Hello, my name is Kelly, and I like to share a LOT. Too much some (many) might say.

Still, as long as it doesn't breach the privacy of someone else, I've always just sort of said exactly what I'm thinking. Because even when it's incredibly scary being so vulnerable, I'm always shocked at how many people feel the same way and thank me for making them feel less alone in their thoughts.

So share I do, and I created the ESSR podcast because postpartum I wanted to hear about all the maladies and misfortunes that happen daily when you're dealing with small humans and learning how to be a new version of yourself.

You might be reading this and thinking, "Cool story, who cares?" but it will give you a bit of required context into the pros and cons list I wrote on Instagram this week about having a second baby. Because some people have already sent me DMs or commented: "Do whatever you want" and "It's no one's business", and yes, I am aware of that and don't care about the opinions of others.

But as I said above, sharing seems to really help others, and if someone else can look at my list and feel seen or even just giggle over my 'chubby puss,' then it's a good thing. Right or wrong, it's a question I get asked probably because I'm so open with sharing.

I wrote an article for Mamamia last year about my thoughts on having a second baby and still feel exactly the same way. But the problem is that if I'm honest with myself, I would love another baby because the pros far outweigh the cons long-term. But as I've said, I don't think it's a responsible decision to have another baby and I don't think enough people think about considering the environment they're bringing a child into and the impact.


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Video via Mamamia.

So here's my list. And I'm sure you'll have your opinions, but maybe go listen to the podcast ep before you get all cranky at me for my own opinions; you might find it super tasty.

The cons of having another baby.

  • Not a given to fall pregnant, I'm not young and my ovaries are all cyst-y.

  • Dreadful pregnancy; spewing every day, heartburn, sciatica, nipples sensitive af, weird f**king cravings, can't eat much, can't get pissed, puss gets chubby, tired ALL the time, cry all the time, can't poop, nipples get weird and leak, everything hurts, can't breathe properly, wouldn't be able to play netball, can't use good sh*t on face, would get haggard af, bit boring, would be looking after energetic and cranky toddler while spewing, itchy skin, everything smells, and depression.

  • Lenny (my son) not getting the attention he needs and wants from me because sick.

  • On too much prescription meds, f**ks with baby.

  • Probably have to have a c-section.

  • Bleeding too much again from cysts, blood transfusion yuck, baby on fentanyl AND coming down off too many drugs not good for baby, lots of needles, bed sores, long time in hospital, agony, can't bond with baby, wouldn't be able to lift Len for months or energy to play with him, can't leave the house too weak from blood loss.

  • Baby allergic to milk of the breast, mastitis, constant gastro f**king with supply.

  • No sleep, baby screams all day and all night, days go by with not even five minutes of sleep, hives from stress, need to get up to take Lenny to daycare in the car on no sleep, that's not safe, Lenny bringing daycare bugs home.

  • Lenny not getting the attention he needs and wants from me because busy with baby.

  • Have to work, or I'll become obsolete and won't have money to pay for anything, paediatrician is very expensive and baby could have GORD like Lenny.

  • No support, no one to help.

  • No village.

  • PPD would probably come back, Lenny deserves more and not fair to bring another baby into an unhinged mother.

  • I'm scared of the fog, I don't want to feel that defeated and sad and like the world would be better off without me in it.

  • My family don't think I should.

  • The house is small and would need more space.

  • Would be harder to leave more than one with Luke (my husband) for work opps, nights away or weekends.

  • Social life would decrease.

  • Kids seem naughtier with siblings because you can't intervene as fast/give them as much attention.

  • Siblings fight all the time.

  • Twice the cost, wouldn't be able to treat Lenny.

  • Not as much support and time for him.

  • Don't think I could love someone as much as him and that's not fair.

  • Luke's bloody genes would pop in and I'd have bloody twins.

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The pros of having another baby.

  • So much love to give.

  • You don't regret a child.

  • Lenny would have a pal.

  • I love my siblings so much and have the best memories with them.

  • When we are old and sick Lenny would have someone to help with logistics, grief, etc.

What are your thoughts on having a second child? Tell us in the comments section below.

Feature image: Instagram @kelly_mccarren.