User Comments

rua January 18, 2022

Normal People also did an amazing job at the consent conversation. I'll never forget the dialogue being something along the lines of "If you want me to stop just say and we can stop. It won't be awkward" I thought that was amazing and in my 30s could only imagine what it would have been like if conversations in pop culture about consent were being had like that when I was in my teens and early twenties.

rua December 12, 2021

This article has made me remember how I've never seen what the fuss was about and just how much 'The Holiday' is a much superior Christmas movie.

rua November 28, 2021

Some of these experiences are awful particularly the ones regarding motherhood. As a single woman about to turn 35 but still hoping to have children one day I find the term 'geriatric pregnancy' to be a highly insulting, abhorrent, misogynistic phrase that frankly needs to be retired. If I was to fall pregnant with a partner the same age or older as me should we be encouraging society to also refer to his 'geriatric sperm'?

rua July 27, 2021

@mchris2 "How anyone can complain about the freedom and flexibility that wfh brings is just weird to me." Not all jobs are created equal. You have obviously never had to hold the attention, entertain, not to mention attempt to teach and impart knowledge to 25 five-year-olds. Doing it in person in a classroom is a vocation, a calling. Doing it over Zoom is almost impossible. And don't get me started on the demanding parents......

rua May 29, 2021

Agree regarding lots of these points. I think we can pick and choose traditions on our wedding day to make the day more personal. Regarding the seating plan, I saw a plaque at a wedding once that read "Pick a seat, not a side. We're all family once the knot is tied!" Thought it was quite cute!

mamamia-user-72694776 March 19, 2021

I'm slightly confused with the time frames for these generations to be honest. A generation is said to be on average 20-25 years (or the amount of time it takes for people to grow up and reproduce themselves) so unless we are now endorsing people having babies at 15 I reckon that Gen Z shouldn't start until 2000 if millennials are anybody born from 1980 onwards. Therefore ALL 90s babies are also millennials as far as I'm concerned.

mamamia-user-72694776 February 21, 2021

This is the best article I've read about dating in years! Thank you! As someone who has been single over a decade, I've heard all the platitudes. From "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince" (who kisses someone that they're not attracted to?!) to "you're never gonna meet someone if you're not on them" (the apps) to "X has a partner because she's happy all the time" (no one on the entire planet is happy ALL the time and happiness does not make someone more worthy of love). People have stopped believing that dating is about chance and are outsourcing it like it is another thing on life's to-do list that follows an algorithm like a shopping list or doing your taxes. And no one wins, when we make it into a chore, it just makes us feel like it's one more thing that we are 'failing' at as adults.

mamamia-user-72694776 February 17, 2021

A friend once told me that I was her only single friend who didn't do extracurricular hobbies in the evening. She didn't do any of course, but that's because "she was busy with her kids"

mamamia-user-72694776 February 17, 2021

We are all outraged by these "as a father" comments made by this man but in my opinion it also really throws a spanner into the "as a mother" conversation that has been defended many times on MMOL. Having reproduced does not give you a monopoly on empathy, compassion and having a moral compass.

mamamia-user-72694776 February 9, 2021

Bridgerton didn't make me feel like this, but Normal People did. In a big way. I never had a high school/ university relationship and that show made me incredibly nostalgic and sad for the shy, insecure 20-something young woman I was and the relationships I never allowed myself to have because I didn't have the confidence and the self-belief to be in them.

mamamia-user-72694776 January 30, 2021

"Motherhood isn't a favour, and it's not a luxury. It's a job." While I'm not disputing anything in this particular sentence, I was disappointed as it would also have been a perfect place to acknowledge somewhere in this article that motherhood is also a privilege. There are many women, be it through circumstance or infertility, that don't get to experience that privilege and while we of course have empathy for the circumstances of women referred to in articles like this, it seems a little self- indulgent.  I 100 % agree that it is criminal that the US does not have federal maternity leave, however the majority of women choose to be mothers. It is a choice that that they are privileged to be able to make, and all choices come with responsibilities and consequences.

mamamia-user-72694776 January 4, 2021

Consent is the presence of an enthusiastic 'yes' not just the absence of a 'no'.  You never owe anybody anything after a drink, a kiss, a visit to their house etc. 'Freeze' is now becoming more accepted as a third trauma response (after fight and flight) although we still have a way to go to educate society about this. 

mamamia-user-72694776 November 27, 2020

Really well written article. When it comes to cases like this "porn culture" has to be brought into the conversation. We had a case similar to this one in Ireland three years ago dubbed by the media "The Belfast Rugby Rape trial" I remember the term "spit-roasted" being used in text messages released to the court and thinking that no human being gets up one morning and naturally and spontaneously thinks "I want to do that tonight". That idea has to be put into one's head from somewhere. Whether we want to admit it or not, porn (and often violent porn) is where most men are getting their sexual education. It always has consequences (sometimes quite dire consequences) and it has to be discussed and brought into the conversation.

mamamia-user-72694776 July 25, 2020

We don't live to work anymore, we work to live. And also, most of us have had manners ingrained into us from the time we could talk so I really don't think it's unreasonable that we expect to be thanked and acknowledged when we do a good job in the work place.