reality tv

Mamamia recaps The Bachelor episode 14: One woman tries to leave and Matt... won't let her.

To catch up on all the Bachelor Australia 2019 recaps and gossip, check out Mamamia’s recaps and visit our Bachelor hub page. Sign up to our “Mamamia Celebrity” newsletter for daily updates straight into your inbox, and join the conversation in our ‘Bach Lols’ Facebook group. We’ve got you covered. 

Sweet Jesus.

Here we go again.

We open on Matt having a pool think.

the bachelor australia 2019 recap emma
SIR

He then travels to Abbie's hometown of Brisbane to swim in another pool because bodies of water hold a special place in Oshie's heart.

While randomly standing ankle deep in a pool for approximately 4359045 minutes, Abbie tells Matt that it's "slippery" and also that her "nipples keep coming out". ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After a pool pash, they sit on some pool loungers and pash while some massage therapists stand awkwardly behind them and Osher does a giggle from behind the palm tree.

the bachelor australia 2019 recap emma
"We... we... don't get paid enough for this."
ADVERTISEMENT

They then go to Abbie's family home and meet Uncle Rob who ain't got no time for Matt's bullsh*t.

He does some intense staring and then asks Matt why he's "so special" and Matt replies he's special because Osher says he is. True.

the bachelor australia 2019 recap emma

PAUSE.

It's time for Chelsie's hometown.

Which also happens to be... Matt's hometown.

Chelsie introduces Matt to her mum and dad and her sister Shannon.

After a pleasant dinner with involves a nice little side salad, Shannon decides to do a grill.

Sexual Chemistry and Hometown Dramas. Post continues after podcast.

She asks Matt to "sell himself to her" and he gets real flustered because Osher usually does the pimpin' for him.

As they say their goodbyes, Chelsie tries to tell Matt that she's falling in love with him but then she... doesn't because she remembers the three other women he's currently dating and also Osher is breathing heavily in the bushes and quite frankly it's... unnerving.

ADVERTISEMENT

Oooooh.

It's Emma's hometown and Matt tells us that Emma's accent is Irish and we definitely knew that already and haven't been Googling it for weeks now.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Because Emma's family are currently locked in a basement somewhere/live on the other side of the world, Emma decides to introduce Matt to the two most important guest stars in Bachelor history... Teddy and Bear.

the bachelor australia 2019 recap emma
SWEETIE
the bachelor australia 2019 recap emma
YOU SO HAPPY
ADVERTISEMENT

Emma then takes Matt to meet some human friends which is sad for us.

Emma tells her friend Jen she's fallen in love with Matt after two dates and Jen would like to die pls.

During dinner Emma announces that she'd like to move to Melbourne ASAP to make the Mini Matts. Matt looks... alarmed.

Jen takes Matt for a chat to warn him about the basement he will probably be locked in for the rest of his life and they decide on a safe word.

As they say their goodbyes, Emma tells Matt that she's falling in love with him and Osher whispers "abort! abort!" from the bushes.

PAUSE.

It's time for Helena's hometown i.e. the drama.

Helena and Matt briefly discuss playing a match? of tennis before Helena decides it would be more exciting to sit Matt down and tell him that her dad is a Russian mobster from France, who they like to call Boris sometimes.

A little bit of pee comes out for Matt and Osh does a giggle.

As soon as they arrive at the house, Helena and her mum and her sister run away and leave Matt to deal with Boris.

But DO NOT WORRY, Matt has a plan. You see, he's hidden a tiny microphone in his ear and Osher is feeding him some lines.

the bachelor australia 2019 recap emma
"HE DOESN'T SUSPECT A THING."
ADVERTISEMENT

Helena and the others return with a nice side salad and they get down to the business of manufacturing some drama.

Remembering people are French, Matt says "You didn't even speak French on the red carpet" which is embarrassing for precisely all of us because that's all Helena did on the red carpet.

the bachelor australia 2019 recap emma
"OSHERS GONE BE MAD"

Helena does a yell and then cries to her mother who calmly reminds her that her boyfriend has been dating 25 other women and sometimes that's hard for him.

Matt and Helena go outside to say their goodbyes and Helena tells Matt she doesn't think she can do it. "It" being be dumped on the national telly and then be papped by the Daily Mail for approximately 18-36 months.

She goes back inside and does a lean against the crying wall, while Matt and his chinos go and have a think in the dark.

ADVERTISEMENT
the bachelor australia 2019 recap emma
"THE CHINOS LIKE THE HELENA"

Matt's chinos decide they're not going without a fight, and they go back into the house and convince Helena to stay.

But then Helena comes running back out of the house and tells Matt's chinos that she's just not sure.

It's very confusing for the pair of casual yet dressy pants.

Matt's chinos head back to Sydney not knowing whether Helena will turn up at the rose ceremony.

Sssssshhh.

Rose ceremony time.

SPOILER ALERT, Helena turns up.

Osher walks in and does a whisper and then Helena asks Matt whether they can go for a chat.

They walk outside to the special 'rose ceremony chattin' pavers' and Helena tells Matt she's sorry about that time she rejected his chinos not once, but twice.

Helena gets a rose and Matt sends Emma home to the only men she'll ever need in her life... Teddy and Bear.

Matt walks Emma to the limo and calmly explains to her that he couldn't give her a rose because of that one time she locked him in a basement for 11 weeks and collected his toe nail clippings. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's sad for her.

UNTIL NEXT WEEK.

Catch up on all our Bachelor recaps, right here: 

You can follow Keryn Donnelly on Instagram and Facebook, or join our Bach LOLS Facebook group

00:00 / ???