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Mamamia recaps The Bachelor episode 6: One woman is asked to leave the mansion.

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Well.

I think we can all agree that things got slightly… out of control last night.

Someone called a certain astrophysicist an, erm, woof woof… by the pool pool.

That woof woof was repeated in another pool pool and then 489454 times at the cocktail party.

There were so many woof woofs, by the end of the rose ceremony Osher was in the foetal position in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth and whispering “Woof woof, pool pool, woof woof, pool pool”.

It was hard for him.

Anywho.

Today is a brand new day and Oshie is back and he’s got a silly new game pls.

He’s decided the best way to put the, erm, woof woof incident behind everyone is to get Abbie and Monique to literally FIGHT TO THE DEATH for a bouquet that Matt hurls at them using a giant sling shot.

Just your standard run of the mill sling shot date with your 10 sister wives. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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In the next terrifying challenge, the five sister wives who caught the bouquet the most times (spoiler alert: it wasn't Monique cause she was real busy scullin' wine and swearin') get to dress up as actual brides and answer a set of humiliating questions about their child bearing capabilities.

the bachelor australia 2019 recap monique abbie
"IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT JOB"

When they get a question wrong the other sister wives get to cut one of their bouquets off the special... bouquet arch. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yes. Osher's really outdone himself.

Anywho, Vakoo wins the alone time with Matt.

They sit on a couch and Vakoo does a giggle and then spits her wine at him.

It's uncertain what she's laughing at. Probably that one time everyone did a swear in the mansion for approximately 4090956 hours and then Matt did a storm out.

It was a weird time for everyone.

Alas, Vakoo does not get a rose.

PAUSE.

It's the next day and Matt has walked into the mansion and sat down and no one has sworn at him yet.

It's very confusing for us. We have certain expectations now.

He invites Chelsie for a single date at the bach pad because she's the least likely to swear at him/fight him at the pub.

When they get back to the bach pad, they do some cooking and then get into the pool and do a kiss.

They then sit on a couch and talk about their feelings which is nice but we don't care BECAUSE WE WAS PROMISED SOME MORE WOOF WOOF DRAMA AND WE WANT IT NOW PLS.

via GIPHY

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Ooooooh.

Oshie has heard our prayers and pulled out the good booze pls.

Not prepared for the cocktail party to once again turn into the weirdest episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit we've ever seen, Matt makes an immediate beeline for Monique.

They go sit on the special 'woof woof interrogation couch' and Matt once again tries to get to the bottom of whether Monique actually called him a woof woof near the pool pool.

Monique says she can't really recall whether that specific phrase was used cause she says a lot of nasty sh*t when her and Jessika Power Rachael get on the tinnies and durries.

Matt says he can't really see how they can progress from here – "here" being that time Monique called him a woof woof near the pool pool.

She asks whether he'd like her to leave the mansion and he says yes, because quite frankly he's terrified and he'd like to go spoon Osher now.

Monique gets in the limo and does a swear all the way home.... probably.

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Osher walks into the cocktail party and tells the other suspects that the case has been closed.

DUN DUN.

Rose ceremony time pls.

In a twist that precisely everyone (except Vakoo) saw coming, Vakoo doesn't get a rose.

She a lil' bit regrets the wine spittin' but will remain forever grateful to the Osher gods that she lasted long enough to witness the woof woof.

UNTIL NEXT WEEK.

Catch up on all our Bachelor recaps, right here: 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelor episode 1: "It's showtime, b*tches." The bride who divides the mansion.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelor episode 2: NO, SERIOUSLY THEY'RE GOING TO KILL EACH OTHER.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelor episode 3: There's a twist at the cocktail party and one woman DONE LOSES IT.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelor: We almost had our first full-blown sex scene.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelor episode 5: Matt Agnew just walked out of the mansion... twice.

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