The following is an extract from Beyond Booze: How to Create a Life You Love, Alcohol-Free by Sarah Rusbatch, available here.
I looked around to see if anyone was looking and, satisfied that all family members were absorbed in their own worlds and activities, I snuck into the pantry and reached behind the bottles of olive oil and vinegar for my half-empty bottle of red wine.
With my heart beating fast, I quickly poured a glass and, standing hidden behind the door of the pantry, drank it with the sole purpose being to get that alcohol into my system as quickly as possible to make all the noise in my head stop.
Once I had drained the glass, I poured a fresh one, walked back into the kitchen and resumed duties of chopping veg for dinner, innocently pretending this was my first glass of the evening.
Watch: The changes in your body after a year of being alcohol-free. Post continues after video.
In truth, I was feeling pissed off, resentful, tired and frustrated. There was always so much to do, there was never any time for me and even though I knew deep down that alcohol wasn't the answer, I didn't have another solution. I had just broken three of my cardinal rules.