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"The embarrassing vagina story I never tell anyone." Six women reveal all.

Every woman has some weird vagina stories. Every. Woman.

It’s just pretty damn difficult to difficult to navigate that thing sometimes. From sex to periods to foreign objects… No woman gets through life without some tales to tell.

So, in the spirit of honesty and sisterhood (but mostly laughs), we thought we’d provide a place for people to tell their weird vagina stories.

We crowd-sourced a bunch of crazy tales from a group of brave women (all anonymous of course), and these were the most… striking ones that came back to us.

Elusive woman number 1

“If my friend ever knew I was telling this story she would kill me but… When we were young and she had just got her period, her mum gave her tampons but didn’t really tell her what to do with them. One day at school she kept complaining that it didn’t seem like her tampon was working. She said she could feel it and her undies were still covered in blood.

When I asked her to explain to me how she had put it in I figured out the problem: She had put the tampon up her bum. Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life, poor thing. We joke about it now, but she was so mortified.”

Elusive woman number 2

“It was dark one night and my hubby and I were about to do the deed. I reached over to the night stand and grabbed some lube, but a couple of minutes later we knew something wasn’t right. We switched the lights on and I had accidently used toothpaste! It wasn’t that bad – just a bit tingly. And god knows why toothpaste was on the bedside table. That’s just what happens when you have kids I guess.”

Elusive woman number 3

“I thought I could smell something weird one day, but I didn’t think anything of it. About an hour later I was running on the treadmill and my daughter walked past and said she could smell something gross as well. I was panicking that it was BO, but she said it smelled like something else. Something ‘fishy’.

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Then it dawned on me. I ran to the bathroom and checked – I had a tampon in my vagina… But I hadn’t had my period for over a week. Disgusting, I know. I just completely forgot about it.”

Elusive woman number 4

“My sister was showering at my place once, and we have a really small bathroom. The shower is one of those ones that sits over the bath. Anyway, I suppose she wasn’t used to the space, and when she bent over to pick up the shampoo, the sharp edge of the bath tap went up into her vagina. Like, right up in there.

She got a huge cut inside her vagina. She was so petrified at the amount of blood that she called an ambulance. She ended up in the ER with several stitches. She was in so much pain. It was pretty funny though.”

Elusive woman number 5

“My boyfriend and I were pretty drunk, and we ended up having an epic fight. He decided at one point that he wanted to leave, and in my completely logical drunk brain, I thought the best way to stop him from drunk-driving would be to hide his car-key up my vajayjay. I eventually fell asleep and only remembered it was there when I woke up in the morning, really uncomfortable…”

Elusive woman number 6

“Okay, this is pretty gross. I was with my first boyfriend, and as you do with your first, we were experimenting with all different kinds of sex stuff for the first time. One night, we decided to see what it would be like for him to go down on me. Anyway, after a couple of minutes of him down there, I could feel something really wet. I couldn’t figure out what it was, so I sat up to take a look.

He had puked. He was so grossed out by what he was doing that he had actually puked all over my vagina. About ten years later, I found out he was gay, so that made me feel a little better – vaginas in general turned him off, not just mine!”

Do you have a weird/mortifying vagina story to share? (Go on, everybody does…)

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Tags: sex , women
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