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Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: AUSTRALIA, WE'RE ABOUT TO GET OUR GODDAMN HEARTS BROKEN.

To catch up on all the Bachelorette Australia 2019 recaps and gossip, check out Mamamia’s recaps and visit our Bachelorette hub page.

Ooooooh.

Oshie has no time for bullshit tonight.

We open on Angie having a beach think.

This week, she will face a tough decision. She will have to decide between:

a. A man with a beautiful face and a secret desire to appear on Neighbours

b. A man who could give her unlimited access to doggos but who also does a bit of a lie, or

c. A man who sometimes forgets he has a rose and needs to pee mid-sentence but also really likes her.

She will, of course, choose a or b when she should really choose c.

First up, Angie has her final date with Timm with two Ms.

They go for a ride on the back of a bike and do some woo-ing. Timm with two Ms yells at a horse for pretending to be fake, and then gets excited because Jack Russells exist, and then a rock hits him in the head and he kind of likes it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the bachelorette australia 2019 recap ryan
"You clearly just nay-ed"

Next they make this monstrosity:

the bachelorette australia 2019 recap ryan
THAT... THAT SUNFLOWER IS WAVING AT ME
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Then they sit on a feelings couch and Angie tells Timm with two Ms that he's her biggest gamble because of that time he got his best mate's mum's name tattooed on his butt and that other time he got a lil' bit drunk at the cocktail party and just started stirrin' shit.

Timm says yes he is a gamble but she should 100 per cent choose him cause the other guys are doin' a bit of a lie and they're also.... boring.

PAUSE.

It's time for Ryan's final lie date.

They go whale watching on a boat and see a whale for approximately 1.5 seconds before it swims away p*ssed off that there's been precisely zero Osher in this episode.

the bachelorette australia 2019 recap ryan
"IS HE HIDING BELOW DECK.... NO"

Later they sit on a feelings couch and Ryan tells Angie he's 99 per cent here for her and only 1 per cent here for Ali.

She seems... satisfied.

Oh.

It's time for Carlin... and his face.

Angie starts the date by running Carlin over with her car and yelling out "act your way out of this motherf*cker". It seems like an appropriate response.

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Carlin uses the word "prankster" which feels completely unnatural and some birds in the trees do a shudder.

They go for a drive and discuss Carlin's upcoming role on Neighbours.

the bachelorette australia 2019 recap ryan
"HAROLD IS ALSO MY GRANDFATHER WHICH MAKES ZERO SENSE."

Later, they sit on a feelings couch and Carlin explains that he's only done a couple of commercials so far despite his... face.

Ssssssshhhhhh.

It's rose ceremony time.

Oshie does a whisper. Somewhere - deep in the ocean - a whale is very satisfied.

Carlin and his face get a rose.

Then... then... Angie does a cry and runs out of the special rose-giving barn.

She tells a puffer coat-clad producer that she doesn't want to have "the conversation" with the person she's going to kick off.

The cameras spend a lot of time panning to Timm with two Ms face, who quite frankly looks like he is a lil' bit thinking about his best mate's mum Tracey and also that horse in the paddock who pretended to not be a horse for a minute.

the bachelorette australia 2019 recap ryan timm
"TRACEY WOULD HAVE LOVED IT"
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We get precisely one shot of Ryan's bald head. It's a bit sweaty.

After more crying and even more puffer jackets, Angie returns to the room.

IT TURNS OUT THE PRODUCERS WERE DOIN' A SNEAKY SNEAK.

Angie gives her final rose to Timm with two Ms. He just knows the fake horse would be proud of him in this moment. So would the Jack Russells. And Tracey.

Ryan is sent home.

They walk outside and Angie cries a bit more and explains that he deserves someone who is sure and she can't be sure because of that one time he lied about the entire reason he came on the show and who he is as a person.

Carlin and Timm with two Ms are going to the finale.

AND YEP - AUSTRALIA, WE'RE ABOUT TO GET OUR GODDAMN HEARTS BROKEN.

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

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Catch up on all our recaps here:
Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 1: Australia just met the creepiest villain in Bachelorette history.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 2: YESSSSSS. Australia's biggest dirtbag is kicked out of the mansion.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 3: A man from Angie's past leaves the mansion divided.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 4: A new frontrunner leaves the rest of the men fuming.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: OH HONEY, NO. Jamie gives Angie a gift that she certainly doesn't want.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: OH NO. Jamie has gone into full Stage Five Clinger mode.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: WE WEREN'T EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THIS.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: NO. Ryan lied to precisely all of us.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: EVERYBODY IS LYING AND WE DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE ANYMORE.

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