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Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: EVERYBODY IS LYING AND WE DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE ANYMORE.

 

To catch up on all the Bachelorette Australia 2019 recaps and gossip, check out Mamamia’s recaps and visit our Bachelorette hub page.

Ooooooooh it’s hometown week.

That means some angry mums are going to do a yell and some disappointed dads are going to do a head shake.

We open on Angie having a beach think.

She’s asking herself the big questions like why are Carlin’s lips so thin/why does Osher whisper so much/is that… Jamie in the bushes?

First up, she meets Timm with two Ms in his hometown of Terrigal where he’s doin’ a lookout sing.

He takes her to a cafe and tells her about that time he got his best mate Jackson’s mum’s name tattooed on his bum. Classic Timm with two Ms. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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GO TRACE.
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Next we meet Timm with two Ms' mum Sue, his dad, his brother and also... Jackson and Tracey, of course.

the bachelorette australia 2019 recap jackson
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Tracey is very excited about meeting Angie but Jackson just wants to do a sulk about her stealing his best friend and also show everyone his new Sue tattoo.

the bachelorette australia 2019 recap jackson

Jackson takes Angie for a chat because he wants to make sure that she doesn't pick Timm at the end. It's weird of him but we'll go with it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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He tells Angie that Timm is a party boy who shan't be changing his partying ways any time soon.

Angie confronts Timm and they both agree that Jackson is being a bit of a dick.

Somewhere in the background, Tracey, Sue and Osher are making up a dance to the Backstreet Boys' Everybody (Backstreet's Back), after one too many Aperol Spritz.

Next Angie meets lyin' Ryan's lyin' family in his lyin' hometown.

They meet at the beach and he brings a dog which is probably just a cat pretending to be a dog who only came on the show to specifically meet Angie.

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"Pretty sure we're on the wrong season but OK"
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Angie asks Ryan about that time he applied for Ali's season and he explains it was a whoopsie of him because he was stuck in a rut and thought a reality TV show would bring some meaning to his life.

The cat/dog rolls his eyes in the background and then thinks really hard about an imaginary tennis ball for the next 10 minutes.

They go meet Ryan's family and he tells them how he done did a f*ck up. They have bald heads too and they're sad for him.

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"We must put our bald heads together and think of a solution"
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At dinner the bald men convince Angie that Ryan is not a bad guy and that sometimes he just needs to apply for multiple seasons of a reality TV dating show.

Angie says that she trusts Ryan again... mostly because she quite likes the cat/dog. The bald men seem satisfied.

Next Angie goes to Jackson's hometown of Sydney to meet his pie-makin' family.

Jackson gives Angie a gluten-free vegan pie and then tells her she's going to meet his dad tonight who is low-key the head of the pie mafia and will ask her all the hard-hitting pie questions.

As soon as they arrive, the pie boss sits Angie down and tells her he doesn't want her interfering with their pie makin' ways.

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"I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE PIE LYFE THE PIE LYFE CHOSE ME."
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He brings out the ceremonial pie and Angie has to swear an oath in tomato sauce that she'll always put the pies first.

Later, Angie and Jackson go for a chat and Jackson can't tell Angie how he feels because mostly he's just missing the pies and their gooey meat centres and round lil' pastry hats.

Lastly, Angie meets Carlin (and his face) at his hometown.

He makes her do a workout at his gym and we already miss the pies tbh.

Next they meet the family and Carlin's softly spoken brother tells Angie that Carlin was pursuing his acting career up until he entered the mansion.

Then he accidentally tells Angie that Carlin is 100 per cent on the show so his face becomes famous.

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"Carlin and his face are going to kill me"
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Angie confronts Carlin and they have a fight about who's an actor/who has a beautiful face/who has the butt of an angel/who's going to get the sweet gig on the next season of Neighbours.

PAUSE.

It's rose ceremony time and Angie needs to choose between three guys who could be blatantly lying to her and one guy who is married to pies for life.

Ryan and his lyin' ways get a rose.

Timm and his partyin' ways get a rose.

Carlin and his beautiful face get a rose.

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Jackson does not receive a rose. If you listen hard enough, you can hear the sound of thousands of tiny pies cheering in the background.

UNTIL NEXT WEEK.

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Catch up on all our recaps here:
Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 1: Australia just met the creepiest villain in Bachelorette history.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 2: YESSSSSS. Australia's biggest dirtbag is kicked out of the mansion.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 3: A man from Angie's past leaves the mansion divided.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 4: A new frontrunner leaves the rest of the men fuming.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: OH HONEY, NO. Jamie gives Angie a gift that she certainly doesn't want.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: OH NO. Jamie has gone into full Stage Five Clinger mode.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: WE WEREN'T EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THIS.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: NO. Ryan lied to precisely all of us.