sex

"Squirting is not wee": 10 common myths about women and sex you need to stop believing.

There are ENDLESS myths when it comes to sex. Tons of 'em. And while most men are just starting to work out that women don't pee out of their vaginas, we're all over here believing that our G-spot is actually a real 'spot' (spoiler: it's not!).

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Despite all the information that's out there, sex is something a lot of people don't yet fully understand and there's still a whole heap of confusing and murky misinformation floating around when it comes to desire, conception, birth control - the whole shebang.

Watch: 5 interesting ways women reach orgasm. Post continues below.


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To iron out some of these virulent beliefs about women and sex, we hit up a certified sex coach, Georgia Grace, and asked her EVERYTHING.

1. Your G-spot is actually a 'spot'.

"Despite what the name may make you believe - the G-spot isn’t actually a spot," said Grace.

Contrary to popular belief (ahem... all the sealed sections we read as teenagers), your G-spot is actually an extension of your clitoris. 

"Research has recently found that the G-spot is part of your clitoral network. This means that when you’re stimulating the G-spot, you’re actually stimulating part of the clitoris."

Listen to Sealed Section, Mamamia’s sex podcast. Post continues below. 

Interesting, right?

Grace said your ‘G-spot’ is more of a tube rather than an actual 'spot'. "Our urethra (where you wee from) is wrapped in erectile tissue - just like people with penises. This tube of erectile tissue is the urethral sponge aka the G-spot."

Cool! So, how do you actually find that tube-y bit, then?

"You can stimulate your G-spot by inserting a finger into your vaginal canal with your palm facing up, and using a ‘come here’ motion," said Grace.

Go on...

"It is on the anterior wall of your vagina, meaning the side closest to the front of your body," she said. 

"You will feel something that is dense, spongy, rough and changes with arousal to be engorged, soft and larger in size. It protrudes from the vagina wall, so that’s usually how you can tell that you’ve found it."

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If you're on the hunt for your G-spot, Grace said that it's important to note that it can take some time to be fully physiologically aroused - anywhere between 20-40 mins, in fact. 

The hunt for the mythical G-spot: Why some women can find it and others can't.

"So, take time to build arousal before moving into penetrative sex. The more aroused you are, the more orgasmic it will feel." 

2. You only use lube if something is wrong.

There are so many misconceptions around lube and why/when you use it. Like, it's A LOT. But let's just make this clear: using lube doesn't mean something is 'wrong'. Mmmkay?

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"I think this comes down to the fact that for so long there haven't been great quality lubes available. But things have changed and there are some life/sex-changing products available," said Grace.

"All people should use lube - and it certainly doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you or your partner. Lube is there to make sex even better."

3. You don't have to use lube because your partner is 'wet enough'.

*Buzzer sound effect*

"I find a lot of people say this - however, they often haven’t tried lube or they haven't asked their partner," said Grace.

"You can be ‘wet enough’ and still use lube because the external erogenous zones, like the clitoris, won’t have any vaginal lubrication - so it’s really important to ensure there’s enough glide on these sensitive areas."

It's all in the glide, people.

4. Squirting is actually wee.

Yes! Squirting is a real thing. And, no! It isn't pee. "Squirting is not wee, though there is limited research on this," said Grace. 

Okay. Put your anatomy beanie on for a quick tick, will ya?

"The urethral sponge (aka G-spot!) has up to thirty or more tiny prostatic-like glands that produce an alkaline fluid. Two of the largest are called Skene’s glands (also known as the vestibular glands)," explains Grace.

"These and many other glands are buried in the spongy erectile tissue surrounding the urethra and are collectively known as the paraurethral glands - they are the source of ejaculation."

5. All women can climax from penetrative sex alone.

Ugh. Can we just put an end to this BS real quick? Cause, no - this is not a thing. And it's nothing to do with how 'good' the sex is.

"The most common misconception is that women will climax from penetration alone - but in reality only a minority will. The majority of women need external stimulation of the clitoris," said Grace.

Meaning? If you need to use a vibrator or to get off during partnered sex, there’s nothing wrong with you or your partner. It's completely normal.

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"While all women have the mechanics to orgasm during sex, that depends on how you’re having sex. Sex is so much more than just penetration, and for women and people with vulvas to feel orgasmic and climax - we need to redefine sex completely." 

Hear, hear!

"Sex can be anything from oral, massage, mutual masturbation, self-pleasure, dry-humping, using toys, sensation play - sex is whatever you want it to be."

6. Sex is sometimes painful.

No. This is not a thing that should happen. If you're having painful sex, something isn't right. "Sex should never involve any unwanted pain," said Grace.

What might be causing the pain really comes down to whether sex has always hurt or if this is something more recent.

If the pain doesn’t improve quickly, we recommend speaking with your doctor. We know, we know - it's not a fun time when you have to talk about sex with your doctor. But, hey - it's definitely worth finding out what could be causing it. Because having sex shouldn't have to hurt.

7. Lube is just for penetrative sex.

Umm... WRONG. "People think lube is for penis in vagina sex - but this is just one way of having sex," confirms Grace.

"Lube can and should be used for a range of experiences - such as internal or external anal play, hand jobs, vulva massage, fingering... anything really."

The world is your oyster, people.

8. Spit is just as good as lube.

It's a no from us, dawg. While it's perfectly safe to supplement lube with saliva (given neither person has a mouth infection, sore throat or, y'know, oral herpes) - it's just not the same.

"Spit is not lube. It does not and will not feel anywhere near as good as lube," confirms Grace.

9. Lube doesn't feel good and doesn't last long.

"Maybe a few years ago this was the case, but now there are some exceptional products available that are body safe, natural, feel good and up-level all your sexual experiences," said Grace.

Looking for some options? "Frenchie has the most impressive lube on the market."

10. Women are less horny than men.

LIES. This myth comes from the whole thing about women being 'hard to please when it comes to sex'. And it's most definitely BS.

"I have worked with thousands of women, and I assure you - your horniness has nothing to do with your gender - it’s an individual thing," said Grace.

Told ya!

Want more sexy goodness? Here are 6 myths making you feel s**t about your sex life.

Have you got any burning questions you want answers? Share them with us in the comment section below!

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