sex

"ALWAYS pee afterwards": 35 pieces of sex advice women would give their younger selves.

Fact: Life is too short not to have good sex. But how do you know if the sex you’re having is good sex?

Many would say not having orgasms is a pretty great indicator, but the thing about sex is: no one really talks about it. Or, at least, not in a meaningful way.

Side note – here’s a helpful and hilarious explainer on consent over a three course meal. Post continues after video.

Video via Mamamia

We’re quick to seek out helpful, trustworthy advice when we need it in other areas of our lives, like work, beauty or finance. So, why not do the same for sex?

To kick things off, we asked a whole bunch of women for the piece of sex advice they’d give to their younger selves.

From not faking orgasms and having good communication, to exactly which type of vibrator you ought to buy (thank us later), here are 35 excellent nuggets of sex advice wisdom to tuck away for the next time you might need them.

You can also get some great sex advice from the hosts of Mamamia’s Overshare podcast. Get it in your ears below, post continues after audio.

1. “Stop trying to impress men by being so enthusiastic about giving blowjobs and concentrate on your own orgasms.”

2. “Sex shouldn’t stop when the man is done. If it does, there needs to be a re-ordering of events.”

3. “Find a good doctor and SPEAK UP!!! I had painful sex for years because I just assumed that was how it was meant to feel.”

4. “Don’t fake orgasms. You are doing a disservice to yourself and women everywhere.”

5. “To my 19-year-old self: going off the pill before backpacking through Europe is a terrible idea.”

6. “Carry condoms, always be prepared. Safe sex is good sex. Don’t let anyone try to convince you differently. I used to feel like a “slut” for having condoms in my handbag. Now, it’s just like popping my lipstick in there.”

7. “NEVER feel peer-pressured into losing your virginity. Do it when you’re ready – f*ck (not literally) any guy that says otherwise.”

8. “Have sex with all of the people because little do you know, you’re going to get into a long term relationship at the age of 16 and wonder what else is out there.”

9. “Don’t let people label you. Having a girlfriend doesn’t mean you are a lesbian, just as dating a man doesn’t make you straight.”

10. “Pee after sex EVERY TIME to avoid UTIs!”

11. “Get educated and follow good sex positive people on Instagram because the sex education at school isn’t good enough.”

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12. “Buy a vibrator. Preferably a clitoral suction vibrator.”

13. “Learn exactly what you like, what gives you pleasure and what makes you orgasm because if you don’t know… how can you expect someone else to?”

14. “Don’t be afraid to tell your (sexual) partner what you like – they can’t read minds!”

15. “Get to know your body. Explore it, appreciate it, all before you share it.”

16. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Doing something you’re not comfortable with won’t make a person stay with you.”

17. “It’s OK to not want sex sometimes.”

18. Your sex drive won’t always be consistent. It also won’t always match your partner’s.”

19. “Porn isn’t real life. You don’t have to try to be something that’s not real.”

20. “Sex is about mutual gratification and if your partner can’t give you that, you’re not having good sex. Sometimes, all it takes to fix bad sex is good communication. But sometimes, there is no fixing it and that’s when you might consider walking away.”

21. “There’s no shame in talking about sex! I’d tell my younger self to confide in my mum and my sister instead of trying to figure everything out on my own.”

22. “If they’re a d*ckhead and don’t treat you well, sleeping with them won’t change that.”

23. “You deserve to finish too. Always.”

24. “Having one night stands isn’t something you should feel guilty about or ashamed of.”

25. “Sex in real life isn’t like sex scenes in movies.”

26. “I know it’s hard, but you don’t need to be conscious of how your body looks during sex.”

27. “Have tissues handy.”

28. “Sex does not equal self worth. Having more won’t necessarily make you feel better about yourself.”

29. “Just because you’ve talked about having sex with someone and there’s been a lot of build up, that does not mean you have to go through with it if you change your mind. Don’t be afraid to hurt feelings.”

30. “Just because everyone else is having sex, doesn’t mean you have to. I was far too young when I had a teenage romance. Needless to say, I was dumped shortly after the “deed was done”.”

31. “Having sex with someone won’t make them love you… or even like you.”

32. “Be honest (but tactful) if the sex wasn’t good. It will help everyone in the long run.”

33. “Sex can’t fix a broken relationship.”

34. “I would tell myself that if you rush having sex for the first time, you won’t immediately regret it… you may never regret it. But when you find someone you love, you might wonder if your feelings about sex and love would be different had you waited.”

35. “Lube. Use lube.”

Feature image: Getty.

What career advice would you give to your younger self? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

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