Hello, friend. Riddle us this: How much sex is everyone else having? Is it good? Is it long? Orgasm or no orgasm?
These are the kinds of factors we look at when it comes to how good our sex life is.
But here's the thing - the answers we think are right, are most probably wrong. And it can actually be really toxic for your relationship.
Watch: Here are some tips that can (actually) help you have better sex. Post continues below.
To cut out all the noise, we had a chat with accredited family & relationship counsellor Beth Walker, and asked her to debunk a few virulent myths that really aren't helping you feel great about your sex life.
1: Everyone else is having sex regularly.
Don't believe what your friend Sarah is saying - everyone isn't having as much sex as you might think they are. Plus, even if they are all doing it three times a day, there's no right or wrong frequency when it comes to the amount of sex someone is having.
Listen to Sealed Section, Mamamia’s sex podcast. Post continues below.
"Sex drive and frequency is a big one. Couples question whether their sex drive is too high or low, whether they’re not having enough sex, or whether it’s normal to not want to have sex at all."
"People tend to question if their sex drive is too low or high if it doesn’t match their partners. But we don’t always line up to our partners' willingness for sex at the same time - this is totally normal. The key is to find a balance and negotiate times where both of you can take turns initiating."
Proof of how important it is to ~just do you~.
2: Sex fizzles in a relationship as time goes on.
You know those crazy early days of a relationship where you have this intense urge to just spontaneously rip each other's clothes off? Like, all the time? Yeah? Well, with the majority of couples, that kind of passion is difficult to sustain in a long-term relationship.
We're sorry, but it's true. And totally normal btw!
As you move from flirting with someone to creating a home and a whole life with them, that lust and spontaneous desire tends to fade a smidge. However, that definitely doesn't mean you're not attracted to each other anymore.
C'mon, that's silly talk.