Talking about sex can be a big hurdle for many friendships, with people shying away from sharing truthful details out of embarrassment or fear that whatever they're doing, or feeling, is somehow wrong.
That fear seems to quadruple when masturbation is in the mix.
And that makes sense, right? It's a super private thing that people usually figure out how to do kinda by accident or through the woeful guidance of porn. In fact, based on the results of our Mamamia Sex Survey, most people have their first orgasm at 14... during masturbation... completely by accident.
So, we decided to kick start the conversation that we probably should all have been having much more candidly, much earlier on. We simply asked the question: How do you masturbate?
And 1,895 of them told us.
While it should be noted that 361 women simply put their answer as 'vibrators' (so we know that's a crowd favourite), the responses listed below gave a little more insight into each solo session.
So, read on. Learn a little. And start talking about masturbation more.
Female masturbation stories
"Humping a pillow. I lay on a pillow and thrust with sex-like motions."
"I lay on my back with my legs bent and slightly apart. I put my hand over my undies, firm pressure to the clitoris, slow circular motion."
"I use two fingers, rubbing my clitoris while I think about going down on a woman."
"Used to be just my fingers but now I have to always have my Womanizer."
"Lying on my back with no toys. Just me, remembering my sexual highlights."
"Grinding my clitoris on something like the bed."
"Sometimes using a toy, sometimes just my hand."
"I use my fingers to play with my clitoris, or I whip out my favourite vibrator: The Satisfyer Pro 2!"
"Lying in bed watching my favourite porn videos on my phone, with my right hand moving in circular motions on my clitoris."
"I need a lot of mental stimulation. So I read stories and use my penis-shaped battery vibrator."
"I lie on my tummy and use my palm to stimulate my clitoris and use my fingers around the entrance to my vagina."
"Sometimes some porn, (gay men, anal, girls squirting), and always lying on my front with either my hand there or my trusty vibrator and I effectively f**k my hand or vibrator. There must be pressure, but I don't like any penetration - just pure clitoral stimulation. When Madonna performed her 'Like A Virgin' song on a bed simulating masturbation, I thought "HA, I wank just like Madonna!"
"Just the standard, trusty manual method. I prefer to save electronics for couples' play."
"I just used my fingers ('acoustic' I think they say) on the side of my vulva. I try not to use anything but imagination, but when that's running low, I'll turn to a picture."
"A finger on my clit while watching porn. I never bother with inserting anything."
"I always use toys."
"Lube and a mix of porn, sex toys and using my own hands."
"When I was a teenager, I would hump a big soft toy I had, now I just use my hands and porn. I've never owned a sex toy but would like to soon."
"It always starts with reading one of my erotic romance books."
"Clitoral stimulation coupled with a naughty fantasy."
"I use my Satisfier vibrator first thing in the morning (hubby leaves for work early), and if it takes too long, I put Pornhub on for a quick look.. with two kids I don't have time to dawdle."
"My wand. That thing is powerful! I usually don't like anything in me while masturbating... it takes a while for me to orgasm if I'm using a toy."
"I use my Elixir Play." (Which is a Lady Startup sex toy brand, BTW.)
"Usually I read or look at something sexy, breathe deep to get into my body, using my fingers or sometimes the shower head for stimulation. Don't use toys but would be open to it. At the moment though, I don't really feel the need."
"I lay on my stomach, scrunching up the corner of my doona and rubbing it against my clit."
"I only use my hands because my husband would be appalled if I owned toys."
"I use a vibrator that has three different vibrating bits - one for the g-spot, one for the clit and one wand for the whole area."
"Rubbing my clitoris, sometimes inserting a finger. I also like rubbing my anus."
"I use a vibrator and swap between being on my front or back!"
"Suction style clit sex toy while playing with my nipples."
"Digital masturbation, lying on my back. I've tried using toys on my own but don't find it easy to get off that way."
"I use my vibrator or the handy-dandy hand-held shower head."
"Good old fingers, never used any toys or anything else."
"Battery operated 😉."
"Watching porn in bed."
"I use my rabbit vibrator. E.v.e.r.y.t.i.m.e."
"Nowadays my little We Vibe Tango - it's a little bullet that gets me where I need to. Just a quickie before I go to sleep."
"I prefer to use my vibrator: touch and tease to start with and then it's go-time after I lube it up."
"Love my Vush."
"Just pure clitoral stimulation. No toys and no penetration."
"I use my Satisfyer Pro vibrator and port when there is no one else in the house. I'm straight but only watch lesbian porn because it's the only thing that doesn't have anal or men coming all over women's faces."
"A small, hard vibrator putting pressure onto the left side on my clit. I hold it still in this exact spot until I cum, usually within a minute."
"Quick porn video then getting down to it."
"Laying down on the bed with fingers. Maybe reading some sex stories."
"A combination of porn, clitoral suction vibrator and fantasising about whoever I'm currently keen on."
"Usually just a good old rub."
"Bullet vibrator in the shower mostly or other sex toys if I have a good chunk of time."
"Three middle fingers, moving in a circular motion on my clitoris."
"On my back with legs spread. Plenty of lube and my fingers."
"Using my right hand on my clit, around in circles, until I orgasm. Sometimes watching porn, sometimes reading erotic literature, sometimes just fantasising."
"Watching porn and using my hand."
"Fingering."
"Rubbing. Usually non-penetrative. But it often depends on how I'm feeling."
"Vibrator now, on my back. Or quickly in the bathroom before my shower."
"Watching girly porn, either getting the vibe out or sometimes prefer just doing it myself."
"Previously just my hand, but now I have a Womanizer which is easier, but only if no one is home (the noise!)."
"I didn't masturbate for years. I never got pleasure from it because I knew I couldn't orgasm, and that really got me down. During COVID-19 I decided to get myself the Vush Empress vibrator... life changing! I love it! I orgasm! I feel amazing and I use it five to six days a week."
"I actually don't really like toys... and I generally masturbate around my husband. Which sounds ridiculous because I could just have sex with him but after four kids... it seems exhausting most of the time."
"Vibrator for sure. Still to this day I have never had an orgasm during sex, only whilst using a vibrator!"
"Hand, laying on my back, in bed. Or the using the Vush Empress (but still in bed...)."
"For the last 9 years I've been masturbating by myself with the help of porn or the good ol' imagination! The older I get however, the more into sex toys I am."
"Just a bit of lube and a couple of fingers. I do have a small butt plug if I need it and a big dildo, but it's a bit too big. I must have been really horny when I bought it."
"I'm super lazy so I almost always use a vibrator, so now have to retrain myself to come from normal masturbation... without a vibrator it's usually clitoris focussed."
"Good old-fashioned hand. Yet to try anything else."
"I use toys for clitoris-only stimulation if I need to be quick, using either my standard g-spot vibrator or my Satisfyer Pro 2. Or I really go to town with both clitoral stimulation and my g-spot vibrator."
"The first time I had an orgasm I was 24, and it was with the Womanizer vibrator that uses air stimulation. That is now my go-to method, always."
"I don't masturbate now really but I used to use carrots and also hump my pillow."
"I like to take it slow... listening to audio porn to really set the mood."
"Dirty romance novel sex scenes whilst holding a vibrator on and around my clit."
"I use my middle finger with some paw paw cream on it and move it in circular motions around and on the clitoris."
"To be honest, it's clit stimulation all the way for me. No toys needed. Hands are good enough."
"Index finger on my clitoris, hand under my back to tilt my hips a bit, so I get the sweet spot."
"Baby oil with my hand and generally of a morning just as I'm getting into the shower."
"I watch porn and use toys. Sometimes just an external one, sometimes an external and an internal one."
"Probably fingers/hands. I have no need anymore though. I have an extremely fulfilling, open and experimental sex life with my husband."
"Fingers! Used to have a vibrator but it died. Need a new one."
"Used to be fingers, now I use a vibrator."
"Dildo! Laying on my back, on the bed."
"For me it's all about visualisation: wearing something sensual and using body oil."
"I have a vibrating pillow."
"I prefer to get myself off just with my hands, I know exactly what to do. I play around with a vibrator sometimes, but never seems to do it for me as much."
"A bullet sex toy."
"Watching lesbian porn."
"I like to watch something saucy (currently watching Outlander. Yum! Also really like male-female-male porn) and just fingers usually. Sometimes I'll whip out a dildo or a vibe if I feel like turning it into something luxurious."
"These days I have a variety of rechargeable toys. I mostly use the high-end Scandi brand Lelo, however my current fave is the Satisfyer Pro 2. It's an affordable no-fail guaranteed to give me a toe-curling orgasm in under 10 minutes, usually whilst watching porn."
"My anal vibrator. It's always guaranteed to get me off with minimal effort."
"Rubbing against my sheets in bed."
"Humping a pillow."
"Toys in the shower + five minutes = happiness."
"I now only use my Vush vibrator... I can't seem to get there manually anymore."
"Clitoral stimulation and penetration with a non-vibrating dildo. But I need plenty of warm-up with touching and teasing."
"Lying on my hand."
"Closing my eyes in shower and do it."
"Usually just by clitoral stimulation, I only sometimes use a vibrator because I don't want to get too used to only being able to climax with a vibrator."
"I still can't do it without a toy. It still feels shameful."
"I prefer a sex toy - ideally a dildo with lubricant."
"Trusty vibrator with some soft porn, and then I use my imagination for the rest of the journey."
"Watching porn and either rubbing my clit with my fingers or using a womaniser clit suction vibrator thingy."
"Keep it simple - lying on back on bed, eyes closed to conjure up a sexy scenario, sometimes use a dildo, sometimes not. Sometimes watching porn at the same time."
"Watching massage porn, stimulating my clit."
"Detachable shower head!"
"I like to read something erotic or watch porn. Then I go straight for my clit."
"Hand, glass dildo, We Vibe."
"Two fingers and laying down is my normal. Sometimes I will read some erotica."
"No fancy gadgets, just a bit of v-oil and the hand."
"Used to use a variety of methods from my hand, vibrator, pillow, don't feel the need now that I have sex with my partner frequently."
"My bullet or Vush. Both let me reach orgasm in less than a minute. Quick and efficient!"
"Face down, thumbs between legs, use body weight to put pressure on the clit, and rub. I have a feeling it's super weird because I've never seen it portrayed like that in any media."
"On my back. Fingers mostly, mostly external because internal is hard work! I used to rub my clitoris through my underwear when I was younger to reduce friction but now I use lube."
"Small bullet on my clitoris. Watching porn or reading erotic literature."
"Clitoris stimulation! Fingers are best for me, because I find toys can be fun but nothing beats the original."
"I use three different vibrators - I'm a puzzle. A clitoral suction vibrator, a bullet vibrator and a rabbit vibrator. All work together amazingly."
"Just my left hand on my clit, I've never been someone who enjoyed being fingered, we have a box of toys but we tend to use them together. Sometimes I'll roll over to my tummy for old times' sake."
"Nowadays (when I can be bothered/have an opportunity, which is rare now I have an eight-month-old baby who doesn't sleep), I use my fingers for clitoral stimulation, occasionally use another hand for internal stimulation at the same time."
"A quick porn video and using my fingers, when masturbating I'm usually in a rush and in need of de-stressing, it's never slow."
"It's not something I really do, so I cannot comment! I have (safe) sex with a lot of different men instead!"
"Until recently it had just been hands, but my husband bought me a vibrator for my Christmas stocking this past year and it makes things SO MUCH BETTER!"
"When I have the house to myself, I reach for a glass of wine, naked, and touch myself. Then I use a rabbit vibrator on my clit, and then I mount it and ride it until I cum."
"Touching my clit."
"I have a wonderful vibrator, so I use that, and it is best externally applied onto the clitoris. I am also pretty adept with my fingers as well."
"I used to play with a variety of toys but now I like to turn on some porn and use my hands, very traditional."
"A good romance novel and the good old finger on the clitoris."
"I touch my boobs, play with my clit and use a dildo inside me - all at once!"
"I like lit-erotica. That way I can use my own imagination alongside someone else's words."
"Lying on my front, pushing against my hand."
"Vibrator and butt plug - used in tandem."
"I have the mini bullet, but about four months ago purchased the Amethyst from Elixir Play, which I really love."
"Hand action is my go to, sometimes it's my vibrator. But if I'm needing extra help, then lesbian porn helps get me in the mood (even though I'm straight)."
"Fingers, slow and always slightly to the left."
"Fingers only these days. I feel like one of the lucky ones to be able to orgasm without needing assistance."
"Pillow between my legs."
"Vibrator that you insert. It can't be scary looking, though."
"Watch some fem-porn and have a good release. It helps me relieve stress and have a good night sleep."
"I usually go straight for the Hitachi plug-in vibrator, with kids and lots of work responsibilities I'm all about quick efficiency these days."
"I just keep my hand over my underwear, so I can have friction but I don't need lube."
"I think if I ever try to masturbate I focus on stimulating my clitoris. To be honest though, I get so in my head that it hardly ever works. I find it helps me more to have my partner join in. He is hopeless at finding my clitoris, so I take care of that while he covers the other bases (breasts and vagina)."
"Vibrating dildo for my clitoris and another for vaginal penetration at the same time."
"Lying on my front, with my hands. But it used to be with a pillow when I was younger."
"It really depends on how I'm feeling! I like using a toy to aid sensation but I generally like to do clit play with lots of pressure and very rhythmic light penetration."
"Watching porn. Usually a woman with two or more men."
"My latest vibe is the bomb. A little clit sucker which gives me a great result 100 per cent of the time. Sometimes it's way too fast for my fantasy to get going!"
"Usually in the morning, when husband has left for work and baby is still asleep. I might watch some porn online and get myself in the mood."
"Rubbing my clitoris was always the best but the last few years I also need penetration to orgasm... a combination of both is great."
"Clitoral stimulation with visual aids such as erotic stories or videos. Very little penetration. At one stage I used a vibrator but I haven't had one of them for a few years now."
"As a grown woman I am now very in tune with my body and pleasure areas. I don't enjoy cis porn because I find it mostly aimed towards male pleasure. I also don't orgasm from penetration, my go to method is an external bullet vibrator and minor penetration with girl on girl porn - and if I'm feeling frisky, I'll ditch the penetration and go for a bit of butt play instead."
"I don't have a "go-to". I'm trans and my downstairs still doesn't quite know what it likes. So I try different things and sometimes they work out, but mostly they don't and I give up after some period of time."
"Privacy (usually a locked bathroom door) and my left hand. That's all it takes."
"Don't laugh, but I use an... electric toothbrush."
"The trusty rabbit vibrator. I like the inny* feeling but the outy* stimulation trumps all. * these were terms that a friend used when we talked about toys and what we preferred."
"Electric toothbrush as it was the only tool on hand when I began - around 12. Just stuck with it ever since, and will also use the end of a normal toothbrush as well."
"My fingers are my main go to, if I have more time or really want to have a great experience I have a dildo. It makes it more like sex for me."
"Lay down on my front, pillow between my legs, right hand on top of my undies, rub around area above lady bits and kinda grind into the pillow."
"I'm embarrassed to say, but... PornHub."
"iPad. Porn. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.... for something to catch my fancy.... rub like crazy. Blow. Take a shower. Sleep."
"Laying on my tummy, squeezing my clitoris between both index fingers."
"Now, I like using vibrators for clitoral stimulation. Works 100 per cent of the time. Digitally penetrating myself has never been amazing - my arms are too short!"
"As a teen, dry humping. As an adult, once I worked up the courage to buy one, I now use a vibrator."
"I love my toys, you get a faster more intense orgasm, I love the combo of dildo and clit stimulation but good ol' rubbing my clit with my fingers to porn is also a winner, if you need to be quiet or don't have toys with you."
"I have a dildo that I lie on top of so I can thrust my hips. I love that it can be hands free for a while but then I turn over and get a bit more involved."
"In bed, think about a sexual scenario I would like to be part of until I'm aroused, then pleasure myself with my hand until the job is done."
"Nothing beats a vibrator in the shower, turning the shower from hot to cold just gives it that extra. Then after, you are super clean!"
"Usually threesome porn and some clitoral stimulation with my hands."
"On my belly. Thumb against my clit. Fingers inside me. Grind it out."
"I use a vibrator, but it's getting old, need to treat myself to a newer and quieter one."
Read more:
- "I imagine I'm being watched": 12 women share the sex routine that gets them off every single time.
- "3 words: the figure 8 trick." We asked 11 women exactly what they need to orgasm from oral sex.
- "That's when I get the nipple clamps out." 8 women share their exact masturbation technique.
Feature Image: Mamamia.