sex

'I tried anal play on my male partner. It was a game-changer.'

Ollie and I have been in a relationship for about five years, and I’m pretty confident to say that I’ve found my soul mate. The strange thing is, I still feel like I’m only just getting to know him.

We started dating when we were both in our second year of uni. I was a late sexual bloomer and for me, he was my first.

In the early days it was a slow burn getting to know each other on a physical level. It took me a while to learn the ropes, after years of waiting for ‘the one’. Condoms, lube, thrush, dirty talk, a bit of shame, orgasms, queefs…all the things…it was a lot to take in for a rookie, and my learning still isn’t done. 

Watch: How to have better sex. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

After two or so years into the relationship, we decided that it was time to take it to the next level. I was in my early 20s by then and was learning more and more about female pleasure. I wanted to see what else was out there and Ollie was all for it. So together we bought a We-Vibe Tango. After one go, I haven’t turned back. We both love it and whether it’s a good or bad thing, we kinda both depend on it. I like the intensity; he likes that it ignites my passion and sex drive and we both like the waves of vibration that take our sessions to the next level.

On one Sunday afternoon, we purchased a packet of condoms. We chose this specific pack because it came with a complementary novelty dick ring. Nothing special, but it was the first time Ollie had a toy to play with. It was great while it lasted, but it didn’t have much ticker and died after a few rounds. Oh boy did it leave a legacy! That shitty little purple gel dick ring ignited some curiosity…what pleasure products were out there for men? *Enter the Vector by We-Vibe.*

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After trolling the internet, I came across reviews on the Vector. I liked what I heard, its shape, the different vibration settings and its size, not too intimidating for a straight male. 

I was a few wines deep and decided to make an impulse purchase. I didn’t tell him because I knew it would be a firm “no”. His backdoor was uncharted territory, not just for him, but for me also...  It was just an area we didn’t feel comfortable exploring and one that we thought wouldn’t turn us both on. Oh, how wrong we were! Us stubborn little prunes.

When the product arrived in the mail, Ollie gave me a nervous, uncomfortable but curious laugh. He wasn’t sold, and to be honest neither was I. We left it in the dusty dark depths of our cupboard for a few days, and then it happened.

This is roughly how it played out, let me set the scene: 

*Candles burning, Marvin Gaye on the record player, a whisky on ice.*

Me: “Is this ok?”

Him: “Yep”

Me: “What about now”

Him: “Yep”

Me: “Now?”

Him: “YEP, YEP YEP”

The deed was done, and it was fucking fabulous.

Liberating, powerful, dominant and womanly are a few ways to describe how I felt. He described it as comfortable, intense, pleasurable and exciting.

A male massager is definitely not something both of us thought we would ever try. We’re so glad we did. As a straight couple, we’re both pretty open to new experiences and could easily separate any backdoor play from sexuality preference... that’s one stigma that really needs to be debunked. The experience was far from intimidating and put a good kick into heightening our sexual experiences and drive.

When you find someone you trust, are willing to experiment and if you both have an open mind, it leads to much more fun in the bedroom and a deeper connection with your partner.

Would I recommend it to my girlfriends? Put it this way, it didn’t take much convincing to give that bad boy a second spin.

Feature Image: Getty.

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