sex lock Subscriber Exclusive

"3 words: the figure 8 trick." We asked 11 women exactly what they need to orgasm from oral sex.

Oral sex. 

It's one of life's simple pleasures right up there with fresh sheets and candlelit baths. But it's also a fine art. Every vulva is different and preferences for oral sex can be oh so widely varied. 

That's why we're opening up the conversation, in a very intimate way. 

We asked our Mamamia audience to share their optimal oral sex routine; from the pre-performance rituals that get them in the mood, to the detailed techniques that get them to climax — and every detail in between, of course.  

And let me tell you, they were excited to share. We received over 50 responses, which we've narrowed down to a very interesting group of 11 women who aren't afraid to get candid. 

Here are their orgasm-semi-guaranteed oral routines (because let's face it, sometimes even in the perfect conditions it's just not going to happen) to get them to climax between the sheets. 

Oh, and it goes without saying: NSFW reads ahead.

A 40-year-old single woman who can't stop thinking about the best oral sex she ever had. 

Having a shower beforehand is always a bonus for self-confidence, but it's not always needed if the mood takes over.

I like to be touched all over my body before anyone goes down on me instead of heading straight for the clit.  

The best head I have ever had was when I woke up to a partner stoking my breast so gently, followed by light kisses all over, and a trail of licks across my body, slowly making his way to my vulva. 

He kissed all around, down my thighs before spreading me open. He started by making small licks directly on my clit and gently adding pressure (not lapping like a dog), swirling his tongue every few licks and because he is a multitasker, one hand pinching my nipple and the other hand occasionally putting a finger inside, curling his finger towards the front. 

I came twice, and jelly legs followed.

The pressure is key; not too hard, and not too aggressive. Don’t slobber all over me, and find the right spot.

A 31-year-old bisexual woman whose partner has their oral routine down-pat.

I need to have a shower right before receiving oral sex, then I need some foreplay; things like light kissing all over my body, and light scratching on my back and thighs.

When it comes to ~the deed~ I am blessed with a gifted husband. We have been together for 14 years and he has a 100 per cent success rate of making me orgasm through oral sex without any additional support.

Having said that, fingers or toys are great but not necessary.

To reach orgasm, I need my partner to listen to me. If I say softer, I mean softer. If I said “don’t stop”, then DO. NOT. STOP. That's why my husband is so amazing at it. He listens and responds. 

When I'm going through a difficult time with my mental health, I find it tricky to be present and in the moment, which makes it harder to orgasm. If we have oral sex in those times, my husband still gets the job done, it just takes a little longer.

A 38-year-old woman who knows what gets her to orgasm, but gets impatient waiting for it.

To reach orgasm from oral sex, I need a slow, side-to-side tongue over my clit. 

I always feel nervous that my husband will go too low and touch his tongue to my clit under the hood. When he does, it is so sensitive that it hurts.  

I love his enthusiasm for going down on me, but I need it super slow and gentle. He loves it and often gets too excited. 

I usually give up and move to the next thing because he can’t keep the slow teasing side to side I need. He wants to lick all over everything.

A 29-year-old in a same-sex relationship who goes through phases of what they like.

I like to be a certain level of clean, but not strict with this - usually a quick chat with the partner to make sure we are both comfortable. 

I can have an orgasm with clitoral stimulation and even better if there are fingers or sex toys. 

I don’t have any tips for my partner because I feel that I am different every day and go through phases of what I like! 

As long as they don't stop suddenly and aren't too rough in terms of sucking or biting.

A 38-year-old gender-queer lesbian who brings out the clit sucker when necessary.

I like to shower before I have oral sex, so I feel nice and clean. Then, I like my partner to use their tongue focusing on my clit.

After that, I like to be penetrated with their tongue, and while sometimes that's enough to get me over the line, at other times I'll get the clit sucker vibrator out and have my partner come up near my face to moan in my ear while I finish myself off. 

A 32-year-old married woman whose husband's oral sex is a 'fine art'.

Honestly, my husband and I have our oral sex routine down to a fine art! It’s taken about four years of learning together.

After general warm-up and foreplay, he uses a bit of lube to insert one finger vaginally (he has big fingers so one is enough), finger facing upwards and slightly hooked. Then he uses his tongue on the clit gently to start. 

After a good 5-10 minutes, I usually end up squirting at least once (this also took years to learn). 

He knows when this is going to happen so he removes his finger! I orgasm when he applies more pressure to my clit with his tongue or sometimes I take over for the clit so I can completely control the pressure and finish when I’m ready. 

A 42-year-old single woman who knows the perfect position to get her to climax.

I reach my most intense climax with a dildo inserted firmly but gently. I need to be sitting up slightly - either on the couch with my partner kneeling on the floor in front of me, or having had my back propped up on the bed by a few pillows. 

I think this helps the dildo to hit my g-spot.

As far as the oral goes, I like my partner to suck and not lick my clit.

A 41-year-old bisexual woman who finishes from tongue alone.

If I haven't showered, I need to at least use some baby wipes before I get busy with my partner.

I love a mix of tongue, sweeping fingers, g-spot stimulation, and clit stimulation when my partner goes down on me. Keep me guessing! 

I can absolutely cum from just tongue alone though, as long as there’s some clit sucking. 

When I'm close to finishing, I love to gyrate my hips into their face, obviously after establishing consent and ensuring they like it too.

I used to be anxious about being clean-shaven, but my current partner doesn’t care, so neither do I! 

Secret tips: don’t get stuck in one place, explore around the whole area. The labia is great for sucking on, twiddling, licking, and blowing gently is amazing! 

I also love when my partner grabs my hips or waist. Don’t be scared to flip me over and come in from behind! The more enthusiasm my partner shows, the more relaxed I get!

A 32-year-old woman who swears by the 'figure 8 trick'.

I love when my partner builds anticipation before going down on me by kissing my neck and inner thighs.

Once they're down there, I like them to focus on the whole vulva rather than the clit alone.

Tempo is important — start slow and work up to a medium speed. 

I will absolutely get off when my partner does the figure 8 trick over the clit with a finger on the G-spot. 

A 35-year-old bisexual woman who knows the perfect oral routine.

Anyone who wants to get me off in oral sex can follow this routine, and an orgasm will be guaranteed. 

Start off slow by stimulating the area around my clit until my hips buck towards your mouth. 

Once warmed up, alternate between circling around and flicking side to side over the clit, concentrate on the sounds and hip movements to see what the pleasure receiver is responding to.  

If they are responding *do not* change motion or tempo unless they ask or indicate for you to. 

Nothing is more frustrating than being on the edge of orgasm and the feeling changes. 

Sometimes I want it faster as you’re getting closer to orgasm, but I can control that with my hip movements, so you just stay riiiiight where you are.  

I don’t need a finger or toy to cum, but it certainly feels amazing when done right. 

A middle finger stroking the g-spot is not only amazing but tells me (when I’m giving head) exactly when an orgasm is coming. I love anal stimulation as well, it’s a surefire way to step up the intensity of my orgasm, but it's not for everyone. 

Consent is the most important thing. Don’t go for it without checking and respecting boundaries.  

A sucking orgasm can be amazing, but you definitely need to be warmed up first…

Start sucking slow with a wide mouth, lips covering your top teeth and tongue covering the bottom teeth. You kinda need to feel like you’re imitating someone who has removed their dentures.

Adjust the intensity and mouth shape based on verbal command or body response. 

Make sure you’re on the same rocking rhythm as your lover.  

The giver needs to be super careful of teeth because you generally end up riding their face… and let’s face it, teeth against your clit is a massive no go, way too sensitive.  

Having a third join you to play with and suck your nipples while all of the above is happening is AH MAH ZING, but that’s not for everyone either. 

Top tip, if someone knows how to give good head, marry them… like I did (or at least keep them on speed dial).  

A 39-year-old single woman who always likes receiving head better the second time. 

I LOVE oral sex. If my choice is oral or penetration, oral will always win. 

I like to be clean, and with a new partner I might be a little scared of my smell, taste, but with a known partner, clean will do. 

Finger stimulation or toys are great to start, but tongue is always best.

I like to lie back and relax while letting my partner do the work. 

Lots of sucking, licking, and hot breathing, is the best recipe for climax. I also like eye contact to add some heat. 

I’m a larger lady, but if my partner feels comfortable, a good face sitting session is also a great position to be in. I always climax (multiple times) with oral.

Feature Image: Getty/Mamamia.

Do you have an alcoholic beverage of choice? We want to hear from you in this short survey.Take it now and go in the running to win a $50 gift voucher!
Unlock unlimited access to the best content for women