What is the 30-day Sex Challenge? And why is it taking over TikTok?

You've probably seen the 30-day Intimacy Challenge floating around on TikTok. Why? Well, in recent months it's become a popular experiment for people to undergo with their partners... and for good reason. 

Keep it Cleaner founder, Steph Claire Smith, helped to popularise the trend, after she admitted she was trying it with her husband Josh Miller.

Smith made it clear that while it can be a fun challenge, it's definitely not for everyone. 

The process can be exhausting, frustrating – even monotonous on some days – and according to one expert, it can make or break a relationship.

Watch: 3 mistakes women make after divorce. Post continues after video. 

Video via Mamamia.

Here's everything you need to know about the 30-day Intimacy Challenge, and why you should (or shouldn't) try it with your partner.

What is the 30-day Intimacy Challenge?

The 30-day Intimacy Challenge sprouted up on #relationship TikTok and has since gone viral. The challenge, in short, requires couples to partake in doing something 'intimate' every single day for 30 days straight. 


Don't worry, that rule doesn't necessarily mean sex every day. What it could mean though, is that for 30 days, couples could choose to partake in either intimate massages, kissing, emotional bonding or sex.

And just to be clear, the trend doesn’t have any set rules about how one should establish intimacy with your partner. Couples can do whatever they are comfortable with.

"The way we’ve defined it ... is further than kissing but it doesn’t necessarily have to be all the way to sex — if you can read between the lines – because that’s a lot," said Smith, while explaining the challenge on a recent KICPOD podcast episode. 

"We are tired and there are dry spells and everything like that but whenever we are intimate, it just makes everything else better."

Stephanie Claire Smith and Joshua Miller. Image: Instagram @stephclairesmith.


What are the benefits of the 30-Day Intimacy Challenge?

Relationship counsellor and sexologist Isiah McKimmie, says the Intimacy Challenge could help rejuvenate your sex life again.

"It’s beneficial for couples to make time for each other every day, regardless of any challenges they might be having," McKimmie told Mamamia. 

"An Intimacy Challenge makes sure that couples are prioritising each other and can help kick start intimacy in the bedroom if they’ve hit a bit of a rut." 

Of course, the end goal is for partner's to find themselves drawn closer and more attracted to each other than ever.

Smith explained that partaking in the challenge changed her relationship with her husband. 

"As much as I sometimes hate to admit that – because sometimes I just can’t be bothered, and it’s like, 'no, I don’t want to do it' – I know that when I really think about it when we are close and intimate like that everything else it better," she shared.


"We get along better, we’re just more cuddly throughout the day and we’re nicer to each other and so I think for us was just a bit of a reset."

Listen to this episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues after audio. 

Why should you and your partner take part in the Intimacy Challenge? 

if you're on the fence about whether this might be the right challenge for you and your partner, then chances are it probably won't be. 

"For individuals who experience anxiety or pressure around sex in their relationship, an intimacy challenge can add to a feeling of loss of control and obligation – which takes away from the fun and enjoyment of sex," McKinnie explained. 

"I’ve had a number of couples tell me that anxiety for one person increased during an intimacy challenge and after the completion of the challenge noticed less intimacy than usual."

Those who have who have a history of past sexual abuse or trauma, may also find the Intimacy Challenge particularly difficult.

Despite this though, more and more couples are taking an interest in the concept of the Intimacy Challenge and so far, the end results people are sharing only seem to be positive. 

McKimmie told Mamamia that for those who don't struggle with intimacy, it could still spice up the sex life in ways you hadn't previously considered.


"An Intimacy Challenge can be fun for couples that aren’t experiencing any intimacy challenges. It can simply be a way to add more playfulness and connection to their relationship," she explained. 

There are other factors to consider too. McKimmie wanted to make it clear that partaking in 'tests' (like the Intimacy Challenge) won't guarantee couples will be more attracted to one another when the challenge is over.

"An Intimacy Challenge doesn’t necessarily address underlying issues in a relationship – or issues that may have been contributing to low desire in the first place like lack of connection in a relationship, unequal division of household chores or difficulty discussing important topics together," she said.

"There are some instances where an Intimacy Challenge won’t be helpful and could even be detrimental in the long term," the sexologist went on to say.

"Although sex is an important part of most relationships, they require more than regular sex to stay strong."

Would you try the Intimacy Challenge with your partner? Let us know in the comments below.

Feature Image: Mamamia / Getty.

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