'You’ll be begging for more.' How the 10-5-10 method can supercharge your sex life.

God knows I love a quickie. 

Whether it’s because I’m too tired or too turned on, getting straight to business is often my go-to. In the smorgasbord of sex, if I know dessert is coming, I’d rather just skip the meal.

Call me impatient or greedy (it’s true, I have a massive sweet tooth) but I just can’t help myself. I know what I want and what I really need and that’s... immediacy.

Watch Hughesy and his wife talk about foreplay. Post continues after video. 

But what if I told you that savouring the entrée, indulging in an appetiser and relishing in the main course would actually make the dessert even sweeter?

And by that, I mean *supercharging your orgasms*. 

Enter, the 10-5-10 rule. 

Dr Janelle Howell is a pelvic floor physical therapist, also known as the Vagina Rehab Doctor, and if there is anything this sexpert wants you to learn, it’s to never skip foreplay.

“I know that sometimes we just won’t have time to do this, and quickies are not bad,” she said. "But when you do have the time, try my strategy for helping you to really feel a sense of sexual excitement, sexual anticipation and heightened arousal during your next foreplay sesh.

“My 10-5-10 rule for foreplay is a strategy that stimulates the different erogenous zones all across your body, and it can get your brain and body sooo fired up that you’ll be begging for more!”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dr. Janelle Howell, DPT, WCS •Pelvic floor dysfunction expert (@vaginarehabdoctor)

If you’re not already sold, Dr Howell adds that foreplay is one of your "greatest tools" in your sexual wellness toolbox. 

“It helps with lubrication, arousal, bonding with your partner and most definitely heightened pleasure and increasing your chances of climaxing!”

So, exactly how does the 10-5-10 rule work?

The first 10 minutes.

“For the first 10 minutes, only spend time at the neck and above,” Dr Howell said.

“This can look like getting kissed on the neck, the ear, the lips, and so on. Make out, if you like that. Start on the couch or standing up, then make your way to the bed. Do whatever you like, but pay attention to your neck and face for a while before going anywhere else. This is for 10 minutes!”

Who doesn’t love an old-fashioned make-out sesh to get their juices flowing?!

For the first 10 minutes, only focus on the neck up. Image: Getty.

The next five minutes.

Next, “spend time below the neck – but no lower than your belly button!” explained Dr Howell.

Okay, I’m already SQUIRMING at the thought of this. What a giant tease!

“This can look like breast fondling, nipple stimulation, rubbing on your lower back, kissing on your tummy, etc,” she added. “Enjoy this part especially, because nipple stimulation before sex has been shown to strengthen your arousal!”

The good doctor then went on to flag an actual *scientific study* about the role of nipple and breast stimulation in influencing sexual arousal in both women and men (gosh I love science).

It found that while almost 82 per cent of women experienced increased arousal with nipple stimulation, only 59 per cent had ever asked to have their nipples fondled during sex. When it came to men, nearly 52 per cent were up for some nipple action, but only 17 per cent had requested it.

“That's cancelled, honey!” Dr Howell said. “We're asking for what we want! No more staying silent and hoping our partners do what we like. We're speaking up!"

List to the hosts of Over Share discuss whether kissing always has to turn to sex. Post continues after podcast.

She continued, “When your nipples are stimulated, this increases oxytocin, which sends blood to your uterus, vagina and clitoris. If your nipples are getting hard, this can help your clitoris to get hard too. Remember, we get clitoral erections!”

Yup, that’s right. The lady boner. It's a thing.

The clitoris – that little love button at the top of the labia – actually extends back into the body, about four inches. And when we get aroused and blood rushes to the erectile tissue that makes up the clit, well, just like a willy, it becomes engorged.

The final 10 minutes.

If we haven't lost you by now, it's time to get downnnn!

“The last 10 minutes are for stimulation below the navel,” Dr Howell confirmed. At last!

“During this time, have fun with stimulating the genitals. You can do this manually with your hands, using a sex toy or using your mouth or your partner’s mouth.

Image: Giphy.

“If you are going to engage in penetrative intercourse, then try to hold off for 10 minutes first to really warm things up and get your clitoris awake, your body stimulated and your brain in GREAT anticipation for what's next. If you are not going to engage in penetrative intercourse, then spend as much time as you like during this last section of the 10-5-10 rule!”

While the thought of holding off for another 10 minutes sounds like pure torture at this point, I keep thinking about the wait between dinner and dessert. And the moment you spot the waiter bringing over your crème brulée.

Because isn’t it the anticipation that makes the first bite that much sweeter?

The 10-5-10 method comes from the private sexual wellness email community of Dr Howell that goes out to her dedicated community weekly about ways to enhance your sex life. You can subscribe to her free email community here.  

Image: Columbia Pictures.

Love watching TV and movies? Take our survey now to go in the running to win a $100 gift voucher.