When I selected this article's headline, I thought back to all of the articles I’d read just like this one while being in an unhealthy relationship myself. I’d read all of the signs and discounted them: That’s only a problem sometimes. It’ll get better! I just need to wait it out.
"Waiting it out" turned into months or years I’d then wasted on relationships that were obviously bad for me from the very beginning. I’m persistently stubborn, a quality that can be positive, but when it comes to hanging onto an unhealthy relationship: foolhardy and dumb.
More often than not, I hung on so long because I didn’t want to feel like I’d failed.
Watch: We share our relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.
My self-esteem was too wrapped up in whether I was in a relationship or not, so singlehood felt like emotional destitution.
I had to get over this flawed thinking to recognise that sometimes the kindest thing I could do for myself is to end a bad relationship and move on.
Staying is too serious of a threat to one’s mental and physical health.
Here are five signs that it’s time for you to let go and move on.
1. There is disrespect.
You might believe you’re smarter/better looking/more successful, etc. than your partner, and you like to tell them so, or they do it to you. You laugh at their choices or decisions, or they do it to you.
One of you tells unkind jokes about the other, and one of you also spends every spare moment complaining about the other to anyone who will listen.
When you get into a fight, it’s not long before there is screaming and name-calling.
A relationship can’t thrive if there’s disrespect. The best relationships are founded on kindness, decency, and courtesy, and those are all lacking if disrespect exists.
2. There is distrust.
Trusting that your partner will show up to the restaurant on time and/or notify you that they’re going to be late is just one small portion of trust.