beauty

Mamamia recaps Beauty and the Geek: Sam goes from Napoleon Dynamite to a... Jonas Brother.

To catch up on all the Beauty and the Geek recaps and gossip, check out Mamamia's recaps, and visit our Beauty and the Geek hub page.

Someone just throw Lachlan's Thermomix off the balcony, okay. This joke has gone on too long.

Kyle has drawn Leticia a picture, which to me seems a much nicer bonding gesture than... learning Salsa. But maybe that's just my two left feet talking.

Superman James is not only a superhero, he's also a dancer. Jess too enjoys Salsa, and this is apparently a very solid foundation for them to build their relationship on.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YIKES.

All the beauties are fake-pregnant and I am extremely uncomfortable.

...........I can't. Image: Nine.

Mitchell asks what fresh hell is this and I have to agree??? Why????

This week's challenge is to go undercover as soon-to-be parents at a prenatal class, and the most convincing team wins their geek a makeover.

OKAY FINE. IF THIS IS A MEANS TO A MAKEOVER END, I GUESS I'M ONBOARD.

This is entirely new for Sam, who has never dealt with a pregnancy scare before because he's never been out with anyone. It's like something straight outta my Catholic all-girls high school sex-ed class.

ADVERTISEMENT

Luckily, he's paired with Aira who has spent hours watching videos from mummy Instagrammers and knows the words "Braxton Hicks". I low-key start to believe her. 

Alex talks a lot, and Eliza is literally that math lady meme.

I see no difference. Image: Nine.

They then do some hip... exercises and the woman taking the class uses the word "vagina" a lot.

Lachy, for reasons unknown, is put in a fake... belly and made to roll over like a seal.

It's just... the pregnant torso is his entire height. Image: Nine.

ADVERTISEMENT

OH MY GOD, NO. 

They're all made to watch a birthing video:

IT'S JUST SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SPECTRUM OF EMOTION. Image: Beauty and the Geek.

After enduring that they all deserve a date, but Lachy and Kiera win that while Sam and Aira win the makeover.

SAM. IS. SO. EXCITED.

Angel Lachy visits him to check in ahead of time because LACHY IS SUCH A GOOD PERSON, but it also gives us the best segue into Sam dancing like Napoleon Dynamite.

*chef's kiss* Image: Nine.

ADVERTISEMENT

THIS IS EVERYTHING I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED IN LIFE.

Sam says he uses his (spectacular) hair as a bit of a mask to hide behind which means... THE FRO IS ABOUT TO GO.

Before then though, Lachlan and Kiera have a date and Lachy is THRILLED that a woman cares enough about him to do all the planning. Bless his sweet heart.

They make cocktails and then eat copious amounts of dumplings while discussing how good of a team they are and how much they've grown as people.

ADVERTISEMENT

WHOLESOME.

BUT C'MON WE WANT TO SEE WHAT SAM LOOKS LIKE WITHOUT HIS AFRO PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

First up, he's getting a spray tan and I'm sorry but we really didn't need the close-up shot of his spray tan g-string.

YES IT WAS ENTIRELY NECESSARY TO SCREENSHOT THIS MOMENT, UPLOAD IT TO THE MAMAMIA BACKEND AND INSERT IT INTO THIS ARTICLE. SORRY SAM!!!!! Image: Nine.

Poor Sam, this is almost as bad as that time he went to the club and woke up with a hangover.

While his tan dries, we check in with lovebirds George and Josie who still... haven't... kissed.

They're talking about being a good team, and yes, we know you are.

I'm highly distracted by the wind. Like, why could this chat not happen inside? If they do kiss, Josie's hair is going to get in BOTH of their mouths and that is NOT GREAT.

IT'S SO WINDY. Image: Nine.

ADVERTISEMENT

GO INSIDE. Image: Nine.

Josie says, "I like this", "I like where this is going", "I like you" etc. etc. and I WANT TO SHAKE GEORGE BY HIS SHOULDERS, DUDE LOOK AT HOW MUCH SHE WANTS TO KISS YOU.

He just kind of... looks at her some more.

KISS! KISS! KISS! 

ADVERTISEMENT

Third time's a charm and Josie ain't f***ing around any longer: she goes in for the kiss and HALLE-EFFING-LUJAH IT FINALLY HAPPENS YOU GUYS.

F I N A L L Y!!!! Image: Nine.

Oh.

My.

God.

Josie's crying tears of joy.

George spends weeks obliviously waiting to kiss her and when it finally happens does SHE CRIES.

ADVERTISEMENT

WAS IT THAT GOOD?

I tried to capture his excited jump and this is... as close as I could get... I just... I'm so sorry. Image: Nine.

Back in the makeover studio, the hair stylist tells Sam he has his work cut out for him and EXCUSE YOU THAT WAS A BIT MEAN.

He gets to work on the fro, but we don't get to see much more because ~suspense~.

Instead, we head to HQ just in time to witness Mitchell pondering why he's so averse to food in bowls. 

No one can help you with that one, sorry buddy.

Josie tells the gals about kissing George and George tells Superman James.

It's all just super cute:

NAW. Image: Nine.

ADVERTISEMENT

DOUBLE NAW. Image: Nine.

ANYWAY SHHHHH SAM IS HERE AND YES HE HAS HAD HIS FRO SHAVED OFF.

He emerges from the... smoke and the door plastered in his old self and everyone is shook.

Image: Nine.

ADVERTISEMENT

But ummmmmmmmmmm it's justified because HE COMES OUT LOOKING LIKE THIS.

!!!! Image: Nine.

HECK YEAH SAMMY.

He's gone from Napoleon Dynamite to Jonas Brother in the space of a day. Love this for him.

Image: Nine.

ADVERTISEMENT

Can. You. Believe? Image: Nine.

He checks himself out in the mirror and gives Aira a big hug, but that's enough joy for one day.

It's elimination time.

What's today's challenge going to be? Playing corn hole one handed, while jumping on a pogo stick? (Hit me up if you're keen, @Channel9, I have plenty more where that came from.)

The bottom two are revealed as Leticia and Kyle and Alexander and Eliza.

They have to place blocks on a hanging disc. So no pogo sticks (this time).

ADVERTISEMENT

Ashamed to say I like this. Image: Nine.

Alex and Eliza go slow and steady, while Kyle and Leticia power through most of their blocks really quickly. 

UH OH, DISASTER STRIKES.

With only two to go, their disc tips and they have to start again.

Okay fine, I'll admit it. This game is quite intense. Way better than that stupid hip swinging thing last week.

Kyle and Leticia make good time on their second attempt, but Eliza and Alex keep their cool and after a nervous few moments, win the challenge.

Good for them. But also NO.

LETICIA IS THE BEST. REMEMBER THAT TIME SHE FAKED AN ENTIRE ROBBERY?

AND KYLE WAS JUST STARTING TO COME INTO HIS OWN.

THEY WERE SUCH A GREAT TEAM AND I'M ACTUALLY DEVO.

They're crying and I don't think by this point in the season I need to tell you that I too am weeping.

NAH I'M BROKEN. Image: Nine.

ADVERTISEMENT

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO US, SOPHIE MONK?????????

Goodbye, my new TV friends.

I will miss you.


Catch up on the rest of our recaps:

Feature image: Nine.