Oh my god.
Get you a partner who spends $30 on coffee in the morning because they don't know your order but want to make sure they get a form of caffeine you enjoy.
Is it a sound financial decision? No. Could it be made simpler by simply asking your coffee order beforehand? It sure could. But George just did it for Josie and it was really cute, okay, so get out of here with your logic.
...Wait a sec. Josie doesn't even drink coffee.
A for effort though, I guess.
Elsewhere, a freshly made-over Kiran is delivering Bryanna flowers because he's got rid of a lot of hair, but gained a lot of confidence.
It's the first time she's ever received flowers from a man and after he leaves, SHE CHASES AFTER HIM.
It's like that scene in Love Actually where Sam chases Joanna through the airport except not in an airport, without the help of Mr Bean and with less... hurdles.
She thanks him with a big hug AND THEN HOLY SH*T THEY'RE KISSING!!!
Not a cheek kiss, A PROPER KISS.
After she pulls away he says "wow", she thanks him again, and he says "no, thank you".
THEN LOOK AT HIS CUTE LIL FACE AFTERWARDS:
It's challenge time and the teams have to perform an infomercial live on Today Extra.
The man who I've definitely seen selling foot spa machines on my own TV when I've forgotten to change the channel after watching my friends Karl and Aly on Today gives the teams a pep talk, and then it's time to get stuck into it.
Aira and Sam are up first, and they tell us this foot spa is perfect for your feet.
Holy sh*t, Aira then says "pedi gets you a heady" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Next up is Kyle and Leticia, but first we have to... actually meet Kyle. This is episode five.
He is a history buff who wants to push past his fear of failure to try new things. Hey man! So nice to FINALLY meet you!
He and Leticia are really good at selling wildly unnecessary 'zoom' glasses, and Kyle in particular absolutely werks it.
Jackson and Jessica tell viewers at home they shouldn't care about science and Kiran acts like Bryanna chopping spring onion is the craziest thing he's ever seen in his life.
Ashleigh and Mitchell perform a song about a barbecue, and Eliza offers everyone in Australia a pillow.
Jess and Superman James are at the point in their relationship where they're matching his tie to her dress, and finally, Lachlan and Kiera attempt to sell a massage gun.
It quickly turns into one large, massage orgy.
Channel Nine... if you happen to have any of those left over... *raises hand* I wouldn't even mind if that it's been pummelled into the shoulder blade of a multiple women on air.
Finally, it's George and Josie's turn to shred zucchini in a mildly threatening way and tell us about their three children together, Harry, Lucinda and Michael.
Michael is their favourite.
George forgets the website to direct viewers to but makes a fair point that honestly, you could just Google it. I get it George, but I am concerned about the internet literacy of the Barbs and Kaths watching.
It doesn't matter, because he and Josie and Kyle and Leticia are named the challenge winners, meaning they'll each get a date.
For their date, Knight Kyle and Knight Leticia battle it out in some medieval role playing. It's so sweet how keen Leticia is to dive into his hobby.
After lunging at each other with (foam) swords, they sit down to discuss the terms of a peace treaty and/or to enjoy a picnic.
Here, Kyle explains what living with autism is like to Leticia. He says it's like putting on a mask where "this is what I have to say to seem normal to people".
Leticia responds with so much kindness and empathy, and SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE MOST WHOLESOME SHOW ON TV.
Meanwhile, George has arranged an axe-throwing date for Josie.
Can we normalise throwing axes
in a controlled environment on dates? IT'S REALLY FUN I SWEAR.
George is really good at throwing axes ONE HANDED and this is so hot. I cannot explain it. It just is.
Afterwards, he and Josie discuss how excited they get about seeing each other each day and how they ~like~ each other.
Josie goes for a hug and... GEORGE GOES IN FOR A KISS. But she wasn't expecting it and he kind of... misses.
Did he get her hair? Her ear? Not sure but I feel PHYSICALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
They laugh about it and become the most awkward humans on the face of the earth.
Back at the apartments, Aira visits Superman James to give him some advice about Jess, since he couldn't muster up the courage to kiss her during their date last night.
The pep talk boils down to: Just kiss her you idiot.
He goes to visit her and blah blah blah YES THEY KISS.
(Side note: imagine having your first ever kiss filmed and broadcast to the entire country, it's a no from me!!!)
With all the couples at HQ, James, Kiran and George spill about their various levels of... un/successful kissing.
THEY HUG AND THEY JUMP AROUND AND IT'S SO CUTE.
LOOK AT THEM.
It's time for another highly unnecessary elimination challenge, with Aira and Sam and Jessica and Jackson (again!) to fight it out.
The challenge seems simple except for the MULTIPLE catches: the geeks are blindfolded, they're only able to use one arm each and uh... made to stand on a vibrating plate.
Absolutely nothing about it makes sense.
Especially not... the blindfolds.
Anyway, they have to stack blocks while... vibrating, and Sam and Aira win.
YES. SAM, HIS CURLS AND HIS NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE T-SHIRT WILL GET THE MAKEOVER HE SO DESIRES.
So long, Jackson and Jessica.
We hardly knew ye.
Catch up on the rest of our recaps:
- Mamamia recaps Beauty and the Geek episode 1: Australia just fell in love with a geek named Mitchell.
- Mamamia recaps Beauty and the Geek episode 2: The geeks single-handedly destroy multiple modelling careers.
- Mamamia recaps Beauty and the Geek episode 3: LACHLAN DESERVES THE WORLD.
- Mamamia recaps Beauty and the Geek episode 4: The first makeover is a goddamn SUCCESS.
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