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Mamamia recaps Beauty and the Geek: LACHLAN DESERVES THE WORLD.

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The beauties are doing Eliza's favourite booty workouts and the geeks are... eating cereal when suddenly, the voice of Kyle Sandilands comes through the apartment radios.

It's the stuff of nightmares.

Sophie is on the radio, and she's telling her friend Jackie O and also Kyle about the contestants' upcoming challenge... which happens to be hosting a show on KIIS FM.

It's a win-win: this is very good promo for Sophie's best friend's radio show, and it's also a surefire way for us to watch the beauties and geeks fail spectacularly. 

Don't get mad at me, you know failure makes good television!!!

Everyone is freaking out and talking about sh*tting themselves, literally. I feel like we've had a 'sh*t in pants' reference every episode so far and long may it continue.

Mitchell is complaining about have to do 'more performance', but sweetie you literally recited the entire Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory script last night.

The beauties and geeks get planning, and Aira would very much like to talk about nudity.

Sam... is... also... totally comfortable with that topic of conversation.

Image: Nine.

 

Image: Nine.

Elsewhere, Alex is pleased to have traded in his slow cooked beef for spicy noodles. 

He wants to talk about the consciousness of rocks on his and Leticia's radio show and it's extremely clear this man has never listened to Kyle and Jackie O before.

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Meanwhile, Lachlan is very confident because he broadcasts for a living. His partner Josie is... not as confident.

She would rather do an interpretive dance even though that has no possible way of working in an audio format such as radio.

At the KIIS studios, Alex and Leticia finally make it to air after approximately 24 false starts thanks to Alex's... 'radio voice'.

Finally on-air, they discuss... lenses (¯\_(ツ)_/¯) but unfortunately cannot get to the really important conversation about rocks because of BREAKING NEWS INVOLVING A VERY SCARY ROBBERY.

Leticia is winging this whole thing, and it really sounds like she's just watching Money Heist on Netflix. 

Image: Nine.

Alex has NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON AND IT'S BLOODY HILARIOUS.

Next, Aira goes ahead with her chat on nakedness by asking if we would judge people based on their pubes if we didn't wear clothes. 

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Personally, I'm enjoying being challenged on the big questions.

So is Sam.

Image: Nine.

Speaking of pubes, Sam just chose the worst possible segue to reveal a DEEP, DARK SECRET:

One time he went out with the lads and woke up with a bad hangover.

SAM. 

SWEETIE.

THAT IS THE MOST DISAPPOINTING STORY WE HAVE EVER HEARD.

Sophie, posing as a listener with a 40-year pack-a-day cigarette habit, 'calls' their show and pries Sam for more detail... or literally any detail...

Sam says it would be too R-rated for radio and I SWEAR NONE OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE EVER LISTENED TO KYLE SANDILANDS. HE LITERALLY INSULTED THE MOTHER OF JESUS LIVE ON AIR OK YOUR STORY IS DEFINITELY NOT TOO CONTROVERSIAL.

Sam takes it all extremely personally and will be haunted by that phone call for the rest of his days.

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In a disappointing turn of events, Jess and Jackson sing a song and do not even once discuss his podcast about bread.

The rest of the group do fine, etc. and it's time for actual broadcaster Lachie and a petrified Josie to have their turn.

Josie... cannot speak but Lachie pushes on like a champ until she realises talking is an absolutely crucial part of a radio show.

She turns it around and honestly, she does great. You go Josie! 

Their banter is interrupted by a sports report which should be terrifying except LACHIE IS A WALKING SPORTS ENCYCLOPEDIA.

He tells us about Bathurst, the footy, cricket, ice hockey, lawn bowls, curling, the bobsled etc. etc. etc. and it comes as no surprise that they win the challenge.

That means it's date time!

Not sure if you've noticed, but Lachie likes motor sport so he's arranged for them to go go-karting. 

Josie has the time of her bloody life and cannot believe men exist who want women to enjoy themselves.

They discuss Lachie's dating life, which involves being taken advantage of because he's so nice and Josie is shook at how anyone could do that to the sweet angel sitting before her.

Image: Nine.

It's mixer time, and Sophie's organised an 80s-style prom. 

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Mitchell has a few critiques for the set-up, but otherwise everyone is having a great time.

Sam is discussing his trauma from his on-air phone call with Sophie Sarah and Alex is PANICKING which means he is also SWEATING.

He doesn't feel confident in his relationship with spicy noodles, and is starting to think slow-roasted beef is his favourite meal after all.

Lucky for him, slow-roasted beef misses him too, so hopefully Sophie lets Alex and Eliza continue their crockpot-based relationship by putting them back together at the re-pairing.

SO TENDER. Image: Nine.

Josie tells everyone how lovely Lachie is, and decides she's going to tell him too.

While dancing, she says everyone thinks very highly of him and he needs to realise his worth. He says he needed to hear that and THEY'RE CRYING AND I'M CRYING.

It's a beautiful moment, although I am momentarily distracted by Sam and Aira:

YOU COULD LITERALLY FIT A TRUCK BETWEEN THEM. Image: Nine.

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ANYWAY. BACK TO LACHIE. 

HE DESERVES THE WORLD AND I'M SO GLAD HE HAS REALISED IT.

Sophie returns, because it's time for the final re-pairing. These are the partnerships they'll be competing in for the rest of the season, so it's important!!

Superman James and Jess remain together.

Team slow-roasted beef, Alex and Eliza, are put back together.

Kiran and Bryanna stay together.

Sam and Aira stay together.

Jackson and Jessica stay together.

Mitchell and Ashleigh OBVIOUSLY stay together.

Dr Frank and Gabrielle stay together.

Kyle and Leticia are put together.

Lachie is placed with Kiera, and IT'S SO SWEET. 

He's sad to leave Josie but they've already taught each other so much and KIERA IS SO PLEASED TO BE WITH HIM.

That leaves Josie to partner with George.

And there we go. Final pairs are decided, which means it's time for the competition to truly begin.

But most importantly... THAT MEANS IT IS MAKE-OVER TIME.

See you next week!

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