Have you ever wondered what sex feels like for men? The Mamamia office has.
It’s near impossible to imagine how getting down ‘n’ dirty feeeeeeeels for the penis possessors. So, naturally, we decided to find out.
And the answers? They’re kinda surprising.
Prepare yourself for some giggle-inducing, cringeworthy similes, reader friends!
1. “A slice of heaven that just makes you go mmmmmm.”
A Mamamia employee – let’s call him Mike – describes the act of sex as “a warm slice of heaven that makes you feel like you’ve just taken the biggest mood-boosting drug on earth.”
“Just thinking about it, all I can think of is ‘mmmmmmmmm’,” he told me. “Yep, just ‘mmmmmm’.”
2. "Soft velvety tissues."
According to one anonymous Redditor, sex feels "warm and wet" - while the vagina is like "soft velvety tissues around your penis".
"Moving feels good," the, uh, very descriptive man continues. "It feels really good. Whether it's moving back and forth with your body, or whether you are 'squeezing'."
"Basically it feels like you're in a river approaching a waterfall. If you're in the water and paddling, you're going to go over that waterfall eventually. And the closer you get to the edge, the harder it is to not go over that edge. So you play a balancing act of trying to do what feels good to her but also that doesn't bring you too close. So you probe at different depths and rhythms, trying to find a balance and a sweet spot."
Moving right along...
3. "It's not like velvet... more like silk."
A Mamamia employee - who insisted I refer to him only as "Gary Dinkles" - said the above description is on-track, but not entirely accurate.
"It’s the penis equivalent of hopping under the covers on a really cold night," he clarified. "But also warm silk. It's completely like wrapping your penis in warm silk."
4. "Like I've found the missing piece of me."
For others, like Redditor 'SmellThisMilk', sex is a deeply emotional experience.
"It feels like I've found the missing part of me, not only in the person I'm having sex with, but in the act itself," he wrote.
"I finally get to express this part of me that is always with me everyday, but that I need to deny or control or somehow manage. Yet, it's a part of me that I love and cherish and in some ways is the best part of me - present, active, loving, aware - all the things I know I am and I know other people can be."
Woah, man. Deep.
Are you a guy? How would you describe sex?