Welcome to Mamamia's new advice column, DON'T FREAK OUT, where Holly Wainwright solves your most personal and problematic dilemmas with her sage wisdom. If you have a drama you need solved, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org — you can be anonymous of course because otherwise, awks.
I'm the primary carer to my two kids, who are five and three, and I love them to bits (I have to say that, it's the law, and it's true). I also work three days a week, in a job that I don't really like that much, and is a bit beneath my pre-kids skill set, but offers me the flexibility I need right now to be around for the kids, do drop-off, pick-up, etc, etc.
My partner works full time in a pretty demanding role Monday-Friday and often has to work late. When he's home, he's a great dad, and does what he can. The thing is, this past year he's taken up marathon running. He ran his first race in September and is now planning a "boys' trip" to Europe (he got a nice bonus this year) to do the Rome marathon in March. It's become his obsession. He goes for a run almost every day, either early in the morning, when I am getting the kids up, or after work, when I'm getting them to bed. And on one of the weekend mornings, he does a long run with a group, meaning he's out of the house for a couple of hours, once they've had a post-run coffee and stretch.
My problem is, I am seething with resentment about his new hobby. Even before he was training all the time, I was home alone with the kids more than not. Meanwhile, I haven't been to the gym for years, and the most "self care" I get is having a shower with the door closed while Bluey's on. I am so angry every time he pulls on his running shoes I want to throw something, but I also know we're meant to support each other's dreams, and that he works hard and deserves to be healthy and happy.