'The OG Sex and the City fans aren't ready for my 2024 opinion.'

If you've read the headline of this column, I'm sure you've come here ready to fight me. And look, don't worry, we'll get in the boxing ring soon but before we start, I have to confess: I'm a big fan of the Sex and the City series.

I was too young (two years old) when the series aired so understandably, my mum didn't allow me to watch it until much much later.

It was 2015 when I first watched the series. I was 19 years old, and I was hooked right from the first episode. I watched it over and over and over again.

Watch: Sex and the City moments. Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia.

I can confidently say that Sex And The City (SATC) had a huge impact on my life. I was obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw so much so that I've now made a career from writing about dating and relationships; I live in a studio apartment in the city; I have three best friends who I see on a minimum weekly basis and I too am constantly late with paying my bills.

But as I entered my 20s, Sarah Jessica Parker's character became less and less appealing to me. The way she treated her friends made me angry, the way she handled money made me question my lifestyle and the way she viewed relationships and dating made me realise that I owed myself a big apology.

Of course, there's no such thing as a perfect character — that wouldn't make good television. They're meant to resemble real people, flaws and all. But at what point does a flawed character become problematic? Especially a character who at one point in time paved the way for independent women. Those same characteristics turn unfavourable when they aren't adjustable to the modern world.


Watching SATC through a 2024 lens made me realise I adopted more from the show into my lifestyle than I care to admit.

Re-evaluating my situation, these are the qualities of Carrie I once thought were fun and quirky that I'm now sending back to 2004.

Being a hopeless romantic isn't a cute quality.

There's nothing wrong with liking romance. However, if it comes at the cost of your self-worth, then... we need to talk. 

Throughout the series, Carrie dates some problematic men. No judgement here, we have all been there many times. The issue isn't dating these men, it's using romance and love as an excuse to continue dating them and therefore leading you into uncomfortable situations where you're constantly putting their needs and wants before your own. 

It's extremely disappointing at the end of the series to see Mr Big end up with Carrie after taking her on an emotional rollercoaster for years. Every single time Carrie ended up back together with Big, a little piece of me broke. It made me think about all my past situationships and how much I would twist and contort myself to fit into the shape of a person who I wanted to be with.

Watching SATC when I was younger gave me hope that I'd eventually end up with the guy that I completely changed my entire being for. Now, I know better than to wait around for someone who hasn't given me a single indication that they want me.

Your friends aren't your free access to therapy.

If Carrie's disbelief in therapy isn't a red enough flag for you, using her friends as her personal diary is the icing on the cake.


This satirical character tweet after the recent earthquake in NYC perfectly summarises every conversation Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte have when they're together.

Yes, Carrie is the main character of the show, but she shouldn't be the main character of her friendship group. When Samantha was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was obvious that Carrie struggled with her diagnosis but initially; she didn't give Samantha any attention at all.

The only person to ever call her out is her friend Stanford.

When Stanford asks Carrie about her thoughts on his new relationship, she replies, "he's nice." Stanford then rightfully says "Okay, stop. I am done. I’ve listened to you talk about Aidan, for what…ten blocks, and two years? And I’ve been a wonderful audience. And I ask you about my Marcus, and all I get is 'nice'?"


It's great that Carrie has a group of friends who are always there for her to listen to all of her problems and give her advice. The issue is that it was almost always one-sided, and that never changed in the later seasons.

Never prioritise a date over pre-agreed plans.

I'm ashamed to admit that in my early dating days, I was a perpetrator of this crime. I never went as far as Carrie completely ghosting Miranda at a bar and not apologising for it, but there were a few occasions where I had cancelled plans to see a boyfriend.

Now, I wouldn't dream of doing something like that. It's worrying how that behaviour was so easily excused on the show by having all the girls rally around Carrie whenever a relationship didn't work out, regardless of what was happening in their individual lives.

I still believe that SATC is a brilliant series that prioritises the power of female friendships.

However, Carrie's character arc is extremely problematic when shown to a certain audience who are just discovering the series — Gen Z women.

Unlike Carrie, they know their worth and would never end up with Mr Big.

How do you feel about Sex and the City in 2024? Tell us in the comments section below.

Feature image: Binge.

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem. 

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