Close your eyes and write a headline about a sparkly, twinkly A-list event.
The Met Gala. The Oscars. The Golden Globes. The Grammys.
Here, I'll help.
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban Pack On The PDA On [INSERT EVENT HERE] Red Carpet.
Yes, tonight the sun will set, tomorrow it will rise and if there is a red carpet in the neighbourhood, our Nicole will be on it wearing quite the dress and open-mouth kissing her handsome husband.
Look, I know I have better things to do with my time than answer that question. I know you do, too. But the news cycle is dark, bad things are happening, and if the first Tuesday in May isn't a time to celebrate beautiful people in love, then I just don't know what we're doing here any more.
Watch: Rami Malek respond to an awkward Nicole Kidman moment. Post continues after video.
And so, behold my very quick and deeply serious, four-pronged theory about why Nic and Keith PDA. All. The. Time.
1. Because Nic is hot, dammit.