Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: YES, WE DO ALL THINK YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS FAKE.

To catch up on all the Married at First Sight recaps and gossip, check out the MAFS hub page. We've got you covered.

Evelyn and Melinda are eavesdropping on the men's conversation, right around the time Layton steps up to give a very tame update on his fake marriage.

It is the most orchestrated scene in Married At First Sight history.

No, I don't have facts to back that up. I've tried to bury the memories of past seasons and I don't have the emotional capacity to start digging them back up. But it feels right, ya know?

Layton says the exact same thing he has a dozen times before: they're up and down because they're both stubborn, ya da ya da.

Then Harrison butts in with an extremely Harrison sentence: "I hope you don't find that I risk offending you..."

Nice of him to say this after offending all of us approximately 347 times.

Can't wait to reuse this one multiple times throughout each ep 🙃

Nearby, Evelyn and Melinda are crouching in a garden full of manure. Who said the path to reality TV fame was easy?

Harrison explains that he thinks Melinda and Layton have a toxic relationship. At this point, you just need to imagine a meme about hypocrisy after every Harrison sentence I write. There are simply not enough in the world to keep these recaps fresh!

Melinda runs back to the girls' night, right before Layton tells Harrison he's wrong and while they have issues, he's starting to think Melinda is his 'person'. 

Everyone else, even Rupert's bum, says Mel and Layton are one of their favourite couples. 

AND NONE FOR HARRISON AND BRONTE BYE.

You tried!

Melinda tells the women it was "universal timing" that they happened to arrive right on time to hear Harrison talking sh*t about her.

Hello, producer Universal Timing! Interesting name!

She asks Bronte if she also believes her relationship is 'toxic' and Bronte says she's really annoyed by people assuming she thinks the same as the fake husband yesterday said she'd always back.

Then she storms off.

Tahnee, a drama free icon in the show's healthiest relationship, says it's "very rich" of Harrison to proclaim that someone else's relationship is toxic because... well:

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Bronte fills Harrison in, and he's SO EXCITED because it means he can once again cause drama.

He tells Layton, who confronts Melinda once the groups come back together. With Harrison lingering beside them like a bad smell, of course.

I want to be snarky but I mst acknowledge that this is also me whenever drama is happening nearby

The next morning, Claire and Jesse are cute. That is all.

Meanwhile, Melinda is sadly caressing a soft toy because Layton remains annoyed at her for eavesdropping.

He and Harrison have a quick chat in the kitchen, and then Harrison runs to LIE TO BRONTE'S FACE.

He says Layton told him he did not think he was in a happy and healthy relationship which is just??? Not true??? 

THIS MAN AND HIS AUDACITY.

Hugo is apparently waking up to the fact that Tayla would rather spend time with anyone else but him. 

He cannot seriously have just realised. We've known this since the moment she told him about her goat, also named Hugo.

Hugo says it's as if Tayla doesn't care about his feelings and I think that's because Tayla doesn't care about his feelings.

Elsewhere, Tayla says she is pretending to care about Hugo, and if this is her pretending... goodness. I hope she's not here to make use of the reality TV to Home and Away pipeline!

In the kitchen, Lyndall and Tahnee are gossiping about how Tayla treats Hugo. The man, not the goat.

Hard agree

Then.

PAUSE.

BECAUSE LYNDALL KNOWS.

Tayla has been into Cam from the moment she realised he was a country bloke who likes beer and Lyndall's onto her.

THERE'S ANOTHER CHEATING SCANDAL BREWING.

While everyone else enjoys the company of each other, but also Princess Duckana and Queen Elizaduck II - yeah, look, I tried - Alyssa and Duncan are in turmoil.

Because Duncan is everyone's dream man and Alyssa is self-sabotaging because she thinks he's too good to be true oops I mean he's not giving her enough attention!

She says she needs affirmation that he is in this for the long haul. Even though he says it. All the time. Including after she told him she needed him to say it again this morning.

Duncan says he feels like he's banging his head against the wall AND I'M GONNA NEED THAT TO STOP, WE CAN'T RISK HIS FACE.

"The audacity"

Bronte grabs Melinda to tell her to butt out of her relationship, which... does not happen.

Melinda asks straight up if Bronte and Harrison's relationship is real. Bronte says it is. 

WRONG. But sure. Let's roll with it.

Bronte repeats Harrison's lie that Layton is unhappy and Melinda is like "Harrison is full of sh*t??????".

Layton is hesitant to call Harrison out because he thinks this kind of drama is just a roundabout to nowhere, which is fundamentally wrong. 

Layton! 

No! 

This is a one-way street to RATINGS AND FOLLOWERS!

STOP FIGHTING!!!! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HARRISON WANTS!!!!! IT'S STRESSING ME OUT!!!!

Claire is showing the group her woo-woo cards, and everyone cheers as the magical card tells Hugo to 'speak his mind'. It inspires him to confront Tayla about her disrespect towards him for the 1000th time.

Plus, Bronte and Harrison and Melinda and Layton - who have kissed and made-up - complain about each other.

So the night's final group barbecue is going to give us some very fresh, brand new drama to talk about! Nothing we've rehashed two dozen times before! Strap in! 

Of course, the awesome fivesome that is Melinda, Layton, Evelyn, Rupert and Rupert's bum arrive last.

Cam yells out to ask if Layton isn't wearing pants and THANK YOU. SOMEONE HAS TO ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS!

BECAUSE HE REALLY LOOKS LIKE HE'S WINNIE THE POOHING RIGHT NOW:

I was going to put a Winnie the Pooh cartoon face over his but then I imagined how humiliating if Disney sued me for THIS

Hugo asks Tayla to explain her claim that her ex-boyfriend messaged her to sext and YEAH. 

RIGHT. 

LET'S GET INTO THAT.

Except this is Tayla and Tayla will just... not do anything she doesn't want to. Ever.

The rest of the group insist she respond AND WELL WELL WELL WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE, CAMERON.

So excited about this eventual storyline!

Hugo asks if she still has feeling for this ex and if she willingly came onto MAFS knowing that.

Firstly, she says he's pathetic and lying. How remains... unclear. 

Then she says he's being fragile over nothing when there is VERY MUCH SOMETHING TO BE FRAGILE OVER.

Then Tayla engages Evelyn, because Evelyn is looking at her judgementally. Lucky she can't also see my face through the screen because HOY BOY.

She tells Evelyn to "f*** off" and then insists she's not starting trouble.

I... wow. It's incredible that I'm still shocked but I AM.

Cam asks what's next and PROBABLY A BIT OF CHEATING WITH YOU OR SOMETHING IDK. 

WAIT.

Tayla storms off and Cam rushes to console her AND I AM TRULY PUMPED FOR WHEN ALL THIS STALE DRAMA IS REPLACED BY WHATEVER THIS IS.

Team Lyndall! Planting my flag in the ground real early!

IT'S TIME.

TO CALL HARRISON A LYING MANIPULATOR. AGAIN.

(A quick AWWWWWWWW for Layton saying "if I believe that somebody that I LOVE has been disrespected...")

Layton asks where the idea that his relationship isn't happy came from and Harrison says it's a fair question.

YES EXACTLY AND I RECKON THAT IS WHY HE IS ASKING IT.

"Uh," he continues.

Groundbreaking stuff.

He remains tight-lipped for the first time in his life, prompting Bronte is ask him as well.

"I genuinely don't remember," Harrison responds.

I'M SCREAMINGGGGGGGG.

He should be a politician (he absolutely should not be a politician).

Then Melinda recites what Bronte told her, which was WHAT HARRISON TOLD HER, and HARRISON SAYS HE WISHES SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT.

I KNOW IT'S A STALE TAKE BUT IT'S ALL I'VE GOT AT THIS POINT: THE!!!! F***ING!!!! AUDACITY!!!! OF THIS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bronte then takes the blame, and it's the saddest thing I've ever seen?!

There has to be a better way to influencer life than this. Dancing on TikTok? Writing cringe things in celebrity comment sections? Mining your personal trauma for content? Anything has to be better than this!

"That's 100 per cent on me even though it's actually zero per cent on me"

Harrison then attempts to gaslight Melinda into thinking that it's all just been one big misunderstanding, and that he hasn't actively been attempting to meddle in her relationship for days now.

But he's going to need more than Gaslighting 101 to get to her.

Truly iconic

She says it's not just her who sees him for what he is: a walking, talking red flag.

Alyssa and Tahnee agree from across the room and I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO ALL SPEAK UP RIGHT NOW PLEASE.

"Does everyone think my relationship is fake," Bronte asks the crowd.

I've never been more qualified to answer a question.

YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!

WE ALL DO!!!

When he realises he cannot control this situation, Harrison suggests they walk away.

Bronte says once someone breaks her trust, she's done with them. It's a bold claim considering her fake marriage, which is apparently now practically perfect, began with... a literal cheating scandal. But sometimes, people make mistakes in return for screen time. And followers. And future brand partnerships. 

Allegedly.

See you when it all blows up (again) tomorrow!

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Catch up on our MAFS recaps here: 

• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: When you 'cheat' in the very first episode.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: The groom who hates when women... speak.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A brother tries to sabotage his sister's wedding.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: CLAIRE IS A NATIONAL HERO.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: SIR, YOU CANNOT JUST PRETEND YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two red flags walk into a dinner party.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: This is what GASLIGHTING looks like.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: "I am not a f***ing disposable sex toy."
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Two grooms make John Aiken VERY MAD.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: WHO TOLD JOSH THIS WOULD BE FUN?
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Shannon just became public enemy #1.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Well, that was a clusterf***.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: John Aiken breaks his own rules. Twice.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: A cheating scandal completely unravels.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: ADAM BETTER RUN.
• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: Adam digs himself the deepest hole OF ALL TIME.
  
• Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: We're back to holding people against their will. 
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: JUST DATE YOUR FRIEND THEN, DAN.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: SANDY DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: The most dramatic butt-dial OF ALL TIME.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: The bride who genuinely despises her husband.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Melinda is SO DONE with Bronte and Harrison.

  Feature image: Channel Nine.