A problematic defence of Leonardo DiCaprio's recent 'bad' behaviour.

I don't often wake up in the morning with a nagging desire to defend Leonardo DiCaprio.

He's worth hundreds of millions of dollars, for starters, and is one of the most influential actors in a sea of influential actors, with a multi-Oscar winning production company, his own gold statue and old-school movie star pull. So I cannot stress this enough: I know he that he is fine.

Plus, I'm fully on board with his descent from heartthrob to the butt of many jokes regarding his egregious pattern of dating models in their early 20s and breaking up with them as soon as they're older than 25. I like those jokes a lot. I think they're funny. And I do think a man who seems to be allergic to 26-year-olds as he approaches 50 should probably face scrutiny for that, or at the very least ridicule. 

Okay, have I listed enough caveats? Onto the defence.

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On November 11, DiCaprio held a party in Los Angeles to celebrate his 49th birthday. The guest list was as wonderfully ridiculous as you'd expect, with everyone from Kim Kardashian to Lady Gaga and Chris Rock to Olivia Wilde photographed by paparazzi camped outside. Oh, and yeah, his 25-year-old current girlfriend, Italian model Vittoria Ceretti, was also there.

Even Jay-Z and Beyonce turned up according to reports, that also made clear to state that 'DiCaprio remained at the centre of the action'. Sure, sure. 

The night's most talked about moment came when TMZ got its grubby little hands on video footage of DiCaprio dancing and rapping to the 1994 song 'DWYCK' from Gang Starr and Nice & Smooth.

Leo DeCaprio got a taste of what's goin' down in a year, because his 49th birthday party was off the hook!

See which stars showed up to celebrate here: https://t.co/iXZwDLTRNs pic.twitter.com/zkTxZdNHYV

— TMZ (@TMZ) November 12, 2023

Why yes, the song is indeed older than Ceretti. But that is not the problem at hand.

All the commentary of this video is that this 49-year-old man, having a good time at his own birthday party, is embarrassing and cringe.

Many people have said it reminds them of Succession's Kendall Roy performing 'L to the OG' at Logan Roy's birthday party. If you have watched Succession, you will know the implications of that. If you have not watched Succession, the most important thing to understand is that no other TV scene has given me more of a full-body cringe in my entire life.

I can see the similarities, but only because we are watching DiCaprio's footage on our laptops or phones, at home, at work, or on the train. We are devoid of the context in which having fun and letting loose at a birthday party, whether you're nine or 49, is completely normal behaviour.

He's not being sloppy or hurting anyone else. It's basically karaoke. Karaoke is inherently cringe in the best way. And if you can't be a little silly on your birthday, when can you be? 

I simply hate the inference that getting older means you must *always* be, well, mature. And the further inference that maturity means you must always be serious or above 'fun'.

DiCaprio is renowned as an eternal bachelor, mostly defined these days in pop culture gossip by his pretty weird dating life, which I think plays into the reaction. People don't like him anymore, and we know there is no force more powerful than overreacting to all the actions of people you don't like simply because you don't like them.

DiCaprio has also never 'settled down' in the traditional sense, with a long-term relationship or marriage and kids (and he's never made the kind of explanations or excuses that we demand of women in the same situation). He's always stuck to doing what he likes, which is making movies, dating women with increasingly problematic age-gaps and partying. Maybe that's the real issue. 

Society still doesn't consider that a legitimate way to make a life (and yes, I know, it's 1000x worse for women!)

Are the 'he's too old to be doing this' comments simply code for 'he should be at home, married – preferably to someone older than 25 – with a kid or three'? We still don't really know what to 'do' with people who don't follow the life path that we've all been told is the correct, fulfilling way to live.

There is plenty of time in adulthood where formality, professionalism and, well, the mundane, take precedence, no matter what path you follow (I am sure even Leonardo bloody DiCaprio has boring nights at home with cereal for dinner, or has to fill out boring paperwork sometimes. We just aren't seeing videos of it). A birthday party, whether you are 13 or 50 or 88, does not need to be one of them.

Maybe we'd be more receptive to someone cutting loose at their birthday party if we could imagine them going home and living a little bit more like us normies for the rest of the week.

All of this is to say: leave Leo alone! No, I'm kidding. But it is his party, and he can damn well rap if he wants to.

Feature image: TMZ/Getty.