reality tv

It's time we talked about the men on Bachelor in Paradise.

As we enter the final week of Bachelor in Paradise, we can’t help but find ourselves fixated on one aspect of the season.

And no, it’s not the vibrant collection of Hawaiian shirts Osher has amassed.

It’s the sheer toxicity of the male contestants.

From Ivan’s terrifying obsession with Tenille, Paddy’s fetishisation of Brooke and Alex, and Jules stringing along Alisha to of course Bill’s gaslighting of Florence and dishonesty to Alex in one fell swoop – it’s been an eye-opening few weeks in paradise.

Reminding us of the various ways we as women can be mistreated by men in the dating world.

…Pretty scary stuff for prime time television.

We’ve sat uncomfortably through it all, wondering how, in 2019, men still think this behaviour towards women is OK.

Understandably, it’s been a season rife with outrage from viewers, with even host Osher Gunsberg weighing in on the problematic behaviour while watching back on Twitter.




Here are the five most troubling actions by the men in Paradise, in no particular order:

Ivan referring to Tenille as his property.

By far the most alarming behaviour of the season, Ivan’s intense courtship of Tenille raised alarm bells amongst viewers.


On one episode, we saw him punch a wall at the thought of another man speaking to her, while continuing to say things like: "She's mine," and "He needs to stop playing with my stuff," when Nathan told him he was interested in Tenille.

Ivan's possessive treatment of Tenille - who he openly refers to as his "property" - became a grave concern for viewers.


Fuelled by jealousy and rage towards her other suitors, his behaviour rendered the other male contestants afraid to speak to Tenille for fear of a physical altercation.

It was something we certainly shouldn't be seeing in the #MeToo age.

Ivan's furious response to Tenille breaking up with him.

Following days of intense behaviour, Australia watched last week as Tenille tried to tell Ivan he needed to “pull back the reigns a little bit”.

Instead, Ivan playfully tried to hold her hand and kiss her, showing little respect to her wishes and maintaining - alarmingly - that she belongs to him.

Tenille eventually chose to end things with Ivan, letting him down as gently as possible. Yet tonight, he ordered her not to speak to any other men in Paradise, and blew up at Nathan for showing interest in her.

His actions led Flo to suggest he's erring on "emotionally abusive", and prompting a producer to explain to Ivan the premise of the show - that other men are, in fact, allowed to pursue Tenille.

... This shouldn't have to happen.

Bill gaslighting both Flo and Alex.

Bill's gaslighting of Florence - publicly calling her a "salty b*tch" and "malicious" for telling Alex he had attempted to sleep with her - had viewers outraged.

Bill Goldsmith Bachelor in Paradise

The fall out followed a rose ceremony which saw Bill arrange for both women to be kept in Paradise so he could pursue them at the same time.

Alex - blind to his shadiness - continued to ~explore their connection~. *Cue slithering reptile on a nearby branch*.

In all but a few hours, he had abused and undermined Florence to tears, and convinced Alex she, too, was crazy for believing her.

And we thought MAFS Mike was Australia's biggest gaslighter...

Paddy's sexualisation of Alex and Brooke's date.

When Alex chose to take Brooke on a date - making history for the Bachelor franchise - Paddy was quick to objectify them, playing on the straight male trope of festishising bisexual women as though they exist purely for male entertainment.


It was a moment that should have been monumental for Australian television, but instead, it was tainted by a sleazy male perspective.

"I hope there's oil and like massages and that and that we get to watch it back," Paddy said to the group following Alex's decision.


"That's hot. That's actually hot."

But he wasn't done there with the "locker room" rhetoric of so many men before him.

Speaking directly to the camera, he later added: "I'd love to be a fly on the wall for those two. You know... you can pause live TV now. I'd love to pause it on that."

"Mate I'm just telling it how it is," he laughed.

"I'm just telling it how it is...we're all thinking it."

Gross, Paddy.

Jules manipulating Alisha.

Jules - who we'd grown to love after his brief appearance on Ali Oetjen's The Bachelorette - is the secretly emotionally manipulative ~quirky good guy~ we so often struggle to spot.


Jules' true colours were revealed when he savagely dumped Alisha the moment another woman caught his eye, but came crawling back after he was rejected.

Having established a connection with Alisha early on, it seemed as though this could be a relationship that would last beyond the show.

Enter Tenille.

After tossing Alisha aside to pursue her, he begged her to take him back on realising he would be booted from Paradise without her rose.

She obliged, and it all felt very f*ck boi-esque.

Certainly not the worst of the bunch, but still undeniably shady.

While this is only a small selection of the male contestants of this season, the remaining few showed little hope of abolishing this ingrained toxic masculinity - failing to call out their fellow men for their unacceptable behaviour.

It's made us feel as though we're fighting a losing battle.

Men like this are f*cking with single ladies every Saturday night and we're sick of it.