I love it when my husband disagrees with me. He's great at other things too, but our barneys are one of the best parts of our relationship. I don't know many couples who aspire to terse words but our disagreements are genuine and respectful even when heated. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't proud of it.
We argue over big and small things. Fighting fair has taught him how to broach difficult topics and how to accept criticism. It has taught us how to make concessions and admit when we are wrong. We still avoid some issues and slip into patterns of poor communication, we're not perfect. But being imperfect makes arguing even more necessary.
I love our arguments because so much of our public lives are spent agreeing with people and nodding along to keep the peace - most people I come into contact with in real life avoid disagreement like the plague. It's an incredible relief to live with an adult who feels comfortable enough to say what they really think. Moments, where we don't see eye to eye, are something I cling to in a cultural landscape with less and less space or tolerance for healthy disagreement.
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Our arguments are constructive because of a deep sense that we remain firm supporters of each other despite sometimes having a bone to pick. If I felt that to disagree would threaten our relationship I would avoid it at all costs. I also know he wouldn't disagree unless he felt it absolutely necessary. I know there is no motive other than to address a pressing issue.