When I fell pregnant I was sure I was having a girl. Mainly because the psychic that is never wrong told me so. But on this one occasion, she was a little off.

Girl names are easy. There are so many pretty, fun, cool names. One of my favourites, Stella, was a hard no from my husband.

She was my alter ego when I had one too many Patron shots back in my hay-day. But for Benji, Stella was a little obnoxious and wild, always dancing on bar tops and starting fights. I agreed to let it pass.

My co-host on The Baby Bubble Sean Szeps name has named his little girl Stella, so I can live vicariously through him instead. Girl names – easy!

LISTEN: Saun Szeps talk about what it’s like to raise a girl in the modern world on this week’s episode of The Baby Bubble, Mamamia’s latest podcast for new parents:

When I found out I was having a boy, (not from the psychic – from the ultrasound) I was dumbfounded. I had already had a list of girl names and now I had to start from scratch. A name holds so much weight. It means something.

I knew I didn’t want a conventional name. I always knew that from the time I heard all of Paula Yate’s children’s names I thought – yes! I can see myself with a Peaches! I still love that name.

So I started making a list. Teddy (short for Theodore) super cute but everyone was doing it. Leo, also gorgeous but my friend had a Leo. Then nothing. I had no more names. I did love Wolf and Bear.

Unfortunately, Benji can’t say Bear without it sounding like “beer” because of his Kiwi accent. This would eventually become a problem.

Zoe Marshall and Sean Szeps are in the baby bubble, and want you to join them too.

Then I was watching our wedding video a couple months before the baby was due. This video went viral. You can Youtube it. At 11:35 in the video, I found the baby name.

Benji and I had always referred to each other as each other’s Arctic Fox. They are one of the few animals that mate for life. It was a cute and corny thing we had kept private.

On our wedding day, we had written our vows secretly and had both mentioned the Arctic Fox in our vows to one another. It gave me such a kick, a little inside moment on our wedding day.

I thought Fox. That is perfect. I didn’t know any baby Foxs . No friends were named Fox, no weird exes or people we didn’t like from work. It was clean. A rarity in the name game.

 

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A post shared by Zoe Marshall (@zoebmarshall) on Sep 12, 2018 at 4:53pm PDT

I don’t come from a family with much tradition, my parents didn’t even marry. I always knew I wanted to marry because of that. I craved tradition and rituals. I especially loved spending time with my Jewish friends on Fridays so I could share Shabbat dinner with them.

Benji is named after his uncle Benz. Both are Benjamin on paper. I loved the idea of carrying this tradition down the line. Uncle Benz is Fox’s koro (grandfather in Maori) as Benz is the closest man Benj has to a father.

Benz is the most amazing man you will have ever met. He is kind, generous; warm he is everything you would want your man to be. So we decided to name the baby Benjamin Fox Marshall. We call him Fox, and when he is old enough, he can choose what name he wants.

My mum left my middle name open so through the ages, I got to pick and choose what I wanted it to be. When I was six it was Zoe Wanda (I watched A Fish Called Wanda once) then is was Zoe Billie (when I was a skater chick). Now it’s just Zoe.

I liked that I had a choice and I want Fox to have that too. I won’t lie, we get funny looks from the older generation; sometimes I have to repeat it twice. But I say it proudly; I really love where it comes from and what it stands for.

I think it suits him, Benjamin Fox Marshall.

How did you decide on your child’s name? Tell us in the comments section below. 

Listen to the latest episode of the Baby Bubble where hosts, Zoe Marshall and Sean Szeps talks all things breast pumping, what happens when your kids can’t stop punching each other and how to raise girls into strong women – Mia Freedman jumps in with some of her wise words.