‘There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’ - Madeleine K. Albright, Former Secretary of State and Ambassador to the UN.
This is one of my favourite quotes. You see, too often the greatest enemy women are up against, is one of us. Not a man trying to bring us down – but a woman.
We have worked with these women, we have these women in our families, in our mother’s groups, they write heartless public commentary in our media, on our social media pages. These are the women who don’t just betray us, they betray themselves.
Watch: If a man lived like a woman for a day. Post continues below.
There are women who don’t like other women. In fact, they hate other women. These women, like their male women-hating counterparts tend to live in denial, with no insight into their deep fear and mistrust of their own gender. They don’t know they are women who hate women. They see themselves as separate and somehow in battle with us on behalf of ‘the men’. In this long fought gender war, where equity and justice are at stake, these women are traitors.
We all know them. Some of them will be reading this getting annoyed at me. She’ll write a comment about me being fat and ugly and a boring feminist that no man wants to have sex with. She’ll say I’m jealous or I have terrible tits. She’ll say I’m a bad mother. She’ll say I’m crazy. This is what she always writes.
It’s what abusive men say to women. And women who want to silence the brave voices of other women. It’s the same bloodied club used by patriarchy, but it hits all the harder when it's held by the soft hands of a sister.
These women usually identify strongly as ‘women’ with a hyper-feminine approach. Yet they think like men. Let me clarify – they think like toxic men. It’s the stain of their own toxic femininity. They use the same language, the same hate speech and judge their fellow women with the same harsh criteria as the most fervent patriarch.
These are the women who will quickly defend men in the discussion around domestic violence with a comment about men being victims too. I often read that and think – why did you need to say that? Surely you have a firsthand experience of rape, violence or abuse in your immediate circle? There is no woman on this planet who doesn’t.
Why don’t these women care? Why are they so angry at us? They see us as the perpetrators of our own misfortune and ultimately of their own deep unhappiness. These women clearly hate themselves so deeply, they can only fear other women as competitors to be annihilated instead of collaborators to be celebrated.