Content warning: this post deals with abuse and might be triggering for some readers.
I spent the first 30 years of my life angry AF. I couldn’t find the right career. I was investing time in the wrong people and things. I was generally unhappy and had low self-esteem.
Then finally, age 40, I ghosted half of my family and friends.
Four signs you’re smarter than you think you are. Post continues below.
Growing up in a family being told I was a piece of shit by both of my parents on almost a daily basis resulted in one thing: I thought I was a piece of shit.
In adulthood, I found that I was living my life feeling lost, hopeless and worthless.
For years, I had been told the problems I had were because of me. That I needed to be fixed. That I was the problem. But what I discovered was that my reactions and feelings to what was going on around me were completely normal, given the things I had been through.
I learned that I wasn’t the problem, and it became clear that other people were. I was allowing toxic and selfish people to have too much of a say in my life. And the fact is, that they simply had no place being in it.
I am not a victim.
Yes – I was bullied and emotionally victimised by the people in my life who were supposed to protect and support me. Yes – I was called selfish, a bitch, crazy, ugly, fat, and many other things by those who should’ve said the opposite. But I am not a victim.
You only become a victim if something happens and it prevents you from moving forward in your life in a positive way. Although I have been a victim in the past, that is not my story today.
I am a survivor.
I am a survivor of childhood neglect, emotional abuse, alcoholism, and narcissism. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt me sometimes to think about all of the things I feel I should have gotten that I didn’t get as far as the emotional support, unconditional love and acceptance from the people I loved and trusted. However, I am a survivor.
My life has been defined by a drive that has pushed me towards changing things and helping others despite the things I’ve been through. My past has helped me to challenge my life and push myself to make things better for me and the people I hold close to my heart.