As someone who has never had a baby before, most of what I know about childbirth is close to nothing.
According to the movies, your waters will break (while you're hanging out with friends at some cafe or party or something. Whoops!) and you'll probably hail a taxi, rush to the hospital and then your baby pretty much just ZINGS straight out of you in the space of, like, 20 mins. Cute!
But alas, friends - we've been told that is in fact VERY inaccurate, truly ridiculous and not at all close to what happens during most childbirths.
Shocked and appalled.
Watch: Here are all your burning questions about childbirth, answered. Post continues below.
So, what really goes on when you're giving birth to a human?
Is it actually as painful and terrifying as people describe? (Please, say no. Pls). Are the contractions so bad that you'll scream out for an epidural? Will you really want to punch your significant other in the face mid-labour?
We went ahead and asked 24 women to tell us *exactly* what childbirth feels like. And, you guys... it's a lot.
Here's what they said:
After having two very fast births, it felt like burning basketballs were being pulled through my body. My first son was born at such speed that the umbilical cord snapped!
When you have a c-section, it feels like someone is washing up inside your tummy. That’s how my OB/GYN described it and she was 100 per cent correct. It’s the strangest sensation. Absolutely no pain, but just the feeling of someone rummaging around in your insides.
The uncontrollable urge you have to push feels like throwing up, but in the reverse direction. It comes in sudden violent waves and there is no stopping it. Contractions are like your body is sprinting up a hill, and there's this increasing pain until you get to the top, then a slow easing pain as you jog down the other side and finally feel relief at the bottom.