User Comments

mamamia-user-459038664 August 7, 2021

My childhood was very similar to yours. However, my dad was not an alcoholic. He did have addictions, like cigarettes, eating grated soap, drinking lots of cold strong black tea with lots of sugar, and spending lots of money on himself and his hobbies instead of spending more on his wife and kids and the household. He had a possibly undiagnosed mental illness, and showed all the traits of a narcissistic psychopath. There were 8 of us kids and he was constantly screaming at us that he hated us and wanted to shoot us all dead. The ptsd has affected all of us in different ways. I understand very well how hard it is to live a "normal" life after living a totally fractured, negligent and violent childhood.

mamamia-user-459038664 August 7, 2021

One of my sisters had the lapband surgery, and later on, the gastric sleeve. She went through a lot of pain and discomfort afterwards. But she is the healthiest she has been in decades. She told me that a number of her health conditions have actually been cured, including sleep apnoea. I wish you all the best in your journey.

mamamia-user-459038664 August 6, 2021

I am the same height as you, though I used to be 2 inches taller when I was younger. One of the "joys" of old age. I think having store mannekins so tall is unrealistic. Probably explains why jeans and other pants are always way too long for me, I can never buy maxi dresses because I trip over them. Even midi dresses often end up being a bit long. My first husband, who was 6 feet 2 inches tall, was continually telling me that I was not his "ideal" woman, and one of the reasons was because I was "too short". He left me, two weeks before I had our second child, for an older woman from work, who was maybe 2 to 3 inches taller than me. A couple of months after that, still shedding some of my baby weight, I was seeing another guy. He was also constantly criticising my body. He said my legs were too short, my bum was too big, and I was dumpy. 

Thank you so much for sharing this article. Kylie Minogue is only 152 cm tall and Dannii is 157cm tall, yet they are presented as stunningly beautiful and talented women. The acceptance and celebration of "short" women needs to become more widespread. This includes clothing stores stocking a larger variety of sizes, that not only cater to a person's width, but also their height and proportions.

mamamia-user-459038664 July 31, 2021

Luckily you finally saw this so called friend for what she really was. She has probably gone hunting for new victims since then. I worry about what kind of effect she might have on her children. 

mamamia-user-459038664 July 31, 2021

I had my children when I was 22, 25, 30 and 40. Two marriages and a relationship in between. I don't regret having any of them. I was actually grateful for the structure and focus being a mother gave to my life. I am closest to my youngest son, who is 23. If you regret folding up all those socks and clothes, maybe you should get your kids to fold them up themselves, and to perhaps do their own laundry. I've been doing my own laundry since my early teens. I actually wanted to give my mum a break. Yes I've had ups and downs with my kids. But these ups and downs would have happened no matter what age I was. Throughout the years, babysitters, childcare centres and shared care has enabled me to go for those morning teas, and to travel a few times within Australia. Sometimes i would take the kids with me. Our children are a gift, and they stay children for such a short time. I wish you all the best with getting more leisure time.

mamamia-user-459038664 July 24, 2021

@mamamia-user-482898552 I wasn't suggesting that fame destroyed her. However, all of the pressures that come with fame did not help with her addictions. 

mamamia-user-459038664 July 23, 2021

I feel so awful for you. I worked in an office that had predominantly female workers. It never ceases to amaze me how absolutely vicious women can be to each other. I rarely had problems with the male workers. The women in my office were constantly spreading vile and vicious rumours and lies about each other. Including me. The amount of times that pregnancy rumours were spread about me were so upsetting. To think that some of those women who gave you that nasty treatment were so called feminists and over 50 is truly disturbing. I hope that things are looking up for you now.

mamamia-user-459038664 July 23, 2021

My middle brother rang us all up on boxing day 2009, because he knew we all were together for a family gathering. He couldn't make it, because he lived on the other side of Australia from us. He sounded good. Though our mum had had a feeling for some months that all was not well with him. Two days later, on the 28th of December 2009, we each got a phone call to notify us that my brother had hung himself that night. The shock never goes away. The disbelief and devastation at seeing my brother's cold, dead body still hurts to the core. My brother was 44. He could have lived for several years more. I wish he would have reached out more.

mamamia-user-459038664 July 23, 2021

Amy was destroyed by the fame monster. A human being can only take so much. I hate the way the media was constantly rubbishing her and belittling her. Rest in peace, beautiful girl xxx

mamamia-user-459038664 July 17, 2021

Very well written. Those male tiktok users sound like absolutely hateful trolls. 

mamamia-user-459038664 July 12, 2021

I saw this lady's story on A Current Affair. The council there sounds heartless. I hope she finds a resolution to this problem soon.

mamamia-user-459038664 June 23, 2021

Your story almost brought me to tears. He sounds like more of a butcher than a doctor. How dare he burn you without your consent. I hope he doesn't harm any other women. I hope he loses his qualifications. I hope there is a happier ending to your story.

mamamia-user-459038664 June 19, 2021

I believe that, as women, regardless of what shape or size we are, we are constantly being made to feel that wer'e "not good enough". Up until my mid 40's, I was slim, and often thin. People would tell me I was too skinny, my boobs were too small, I should eat more. As soon as they noticed that I had deformed/clubbed thumbs, they focused on that as well, and made horrified faces, as if I was a monster. And my personality was dismissed as "too shy", "too quiet", "too introverted". I grew up in an abusive household, so that probably explains my personality back then. Then, in my mid 40's, I got diagnosed with bipolar and put on medication, which has helped a lot, but I gradually put on weight. Then, even at the start, when I'd only put on 15 kilos, people labelled me as big, or a bigger person, along with the assumption that I was no longer attractive. For me, this is reinforced when I notice that hardly any stores stock nice clothing for plus size women. People say they should ban plus size models, as they supposedly encourage people to become obese. They should have models in all shapes, sizes, colours, and abilities, so that all of us can get an idea of what types of clothing will look good on our bodies. Thank you for writing this article.

mamamia-user-459038664 June 18, 2021

No twins in my family. But I am the oldest of 8. The first 7 kids were all quite close in age. Then there was a whole 5 years between the 7th and 8th child. As each of us got older, we were expected to look after the younger children. Although each of us had sibling rivalry with at least one other sibling, none of us experienced this with my youngest sister. She was very ill, and we would sometimes fight over who could look after the baby. 

mamamia-user-459038664 June 13, 2021

What a controlling narcisist he was. So glad for you that you finally left.

mamamia-user-459038664 June 7, 2021

Glad you finally found a brand you are comfortable with. Are you going to wear them with the cuffs rolled up, or will you take up the hems so they are the right length for you ? I stopped wearing jeans a long time ago. Too many frustrations with them. I am shortish, with short legs. I've had to cut from 4 to 6 inches from the bottom of the legs of some of the jeans I bought, and then sew a lumpy hem on them. I also hate the way jeans get a bit tight around the waist when I've eaten something. And how, the first few days or so after getting washed, they feel all tight and cardboardy. I used to like stretch jeans, till I noticed that, the more you wear them, the more baggy the waist gets, to the point where you have to wear a belt to keep them up. 

mamamia-user-459038664 June 5, 2021

I also had 4 children. A daughter, followed by 3 boys. Once my daughter hit her teens, she was much harder to handle than my 3 boys were in their teens. It's true, all kids are different, regardless of their gender.

mamamia-user-459038664 June 3, 2021

Thank you, Emily, for sharing this. It is important for us to accept ourselves on every part of our journey.

mamamia-user-459038664 May 21, 2021

I have some sympathy for you. But, as my mother always used to say "Given is given". You had no right to ask for that ring back, no matter how sentimental you felt about it. I bet your ex wife didn't ask for your ring back. I hope you eventually get over your trauma, and live a better life.

mamamia-user-459038664 May 3, 2021

My youngest son used to want me to talk with him while he went to the toilet, because he believed there were monsters in my toilet.