'I was very lost.' Trinny and Susannah were 2000s icons. Behind the scenes, there was heartache.

This article deals with an account of suicide and mentions miscarriage. The content could be triggering for some readers.

Makeup, skincare and fashion icon, Trinny Woodall – whose real name is Sarah-Jane Duncanson Woodall – is beloved for her sparkly social media presence that includes colourful outfit tutorials, closet confessions, casual chats while she does her makeup, and seasonal visits to her high-street favourite, Zara. 

In fact, the always-stylish 59-year-old is slaying the socials with more than 3.3 million followers across Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok.

Before she became an Insta queen however, Trinny was just as well known as one half of television duo 'Trinny and Susannah' with her close friend, Susannah Constantine.

Trinny and Susannah spent nearly a decade on our screens after starring in the hit TV show What Not To Wear for the BBC. Launched in 2001 as a 30 minute ‘ambush style’ makeover show on BBC Two, their posh and occasionally brutal approach to telling women the rules of noughties fashion, made for memorable TV that millions of us tuned in to each week.

Watch: Trinny on The Project. Post continues below.

After five seasons of What Not To Wear, four accompanying books and a clothing line, Trinny and Susannah were global household names.

Their commercial success continued when in 2006 the duo signed contracts with ITV to host a new show called Trinny and Susannah Undress, which ran for two seasons, followed by Trinny and Susannah Undress the Nation in 2007. After some guest appearances on TV in the US, including on Oprah, they also fronted a US TV special Making Over America.

But behind the scenes of their on-screen success, the pair were both going through some individual struggles.

On an episode of The Shift podcast, Susannah, now aged 61, tells host Sam Baker about the ‘role’ she played as part of the globally famous duo.

“Susannah was the one that people identified with and Trinny was the one people aspired to be,” Susannah says.

“I was always known as ‘the fat one’ which was fine, but people always said to me when we do book signings or something, ‘oh you're so much smaller in real life’. I was also the one with a sense of humour and Trinny will say this too, I was funnier!”

A Trinny and Susannah flashback. Image: Getty.

Looking back, Susannah believes that the pressure of being on television was partly what caused her to start drinking.

“A lot of that time [on TV] it was a performance. I don’t think being on TV was natural to me. We were both completely ourselves, but I think when you put aside your addiction, you return to who you were when you started, and I’m an introvert. 

“I’m not someone who loves being around people. I find it exhausting, I have to put on a performance and it’s really f**king tiring and that’s probably another reason why I drank.” 

Susannah describes how at the height of their Trinny and Susannah TV fame, she was not only dealing with alcoholism, but the side effects of menopause. 

“We were filming all over the world and [the drinking] was bad,” Susannah says.

“Trinny was in recovery herself then too and she knew how to handle it. She knew there was nothing she could say and that I had to come to the realisation… [I needed help] myself but she was like my safety net. I dread to think what would have happened to me without her.” 

Susannah says that she accompanied Trinny to an AA meeting, but at the time wasn’t ready to admit she had a problem. 

It has now been 10 years since she stopped drinking alcohol.

“I did have two spectacular relapses, but now I don’t miss it at all. It helps so much in other areas of my life. 

“Now I am making daily amends to my children, my husband and to Trin.”

In 2022, Susannah released a memoir, Ready for Absolutely Nothing, and she told Sam about about how the most painful part of the writing process was thinking about what her drinking did to her children, Joe, Esme and, in particular, her youngest daughter CeCe.

“CeCe was at home the most… and I know how she felt and what it was like for her [Susannah’s mum was an alcoholic], because I felt the same and yet I carried on. The selfishness of being an alcoholic is that it is not [about] your family or your house, it's all about where the next drink is coming from.”

Susannah now with her three children Joe, Esme and CeCe.Image: Instagram @susannahconstantine

Susannah says she hit rock bottom when on holiday in Cornwall with her kids, her husband Sten and his Australian family.

“I blacked out and fell over and broke two transverse process bones [in the spine] and pissed myself. In front of my children and brother-in-law. I was in so much pain both physically and emotionally.

“The next day I woke up and as everyone was having breakfast I said, ‘I’ve been lying to you, I’ve been drinking secretly, I’m an alcoholic and I need your help.’ Then when I got back home to Sussex the next day, I went to an AA meeting. 

“The relief of feeling that I wasn’t alone and that other people felt the way I did was transformative.”

The TV coupling of Trinny and Susannah came to an end in the late 2000s, and Susannah says that combined with her mother's death, her alcoholism and going through menopause, it was a tough time.

“I didn’t get any of the physical symptoms of the menopause but I certainly got some of the ‘mental’ side effects. This coincided with the demise of Trinny and Susannah and it all contributed to my drinking.

"I was very lost. 'Trinny and Susannah' wasn’t 'Trinny and Susannah' anymore, and it happened overnight.

“We had spent 15 years as part of a team, a duo and it was like losing someone, like a death.”

Trinny and Susannah in 2010. Image: Getty.

While Susannah was battling her demons alongside the demands of a huge TV career and three young children, Trinny was going through IVF after she married musician-turned-company director, Johnny Elichaoff in 1999.

In 2017, she said in an interview for a British morning show that she had suffered two miscarriages and went through nine rounds of IVF.

“The second time I did [IVF], I was successful and then I lost that baby, quite late. Then I got pregnant again and then I lost that, so I had a few times of feeling ‘I’m pregnant’, then not being pregnant,” she said.

While on an Oscars red carpet, Trinny recalled how she started bleeding and feared she was having a third miscarriage.

“That was my lowest point,” she said. “I remember flying back [to the UK] and I went to straight to the hospital. [The doctor] had a little mini [ultrasound] and he put it on and it was [the heartbeat] and she was alive.” 

Trinny and Susannah reconnected in an Instagram Live clip to discuss Susannah's book after its release, but also spoke about some shared memories. Susannah recalled feeling worried about telling Trinny she was pregnant with her second baby Esme, knowing how many rounds of IVF Trinny had been through.

'I was sitting in the bathroom wondering how to tell you, and you burst in to tell me you were pregnant," Susannah recalls. 

"I was so happy and relieved and said, 'So am I!'"

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Trinny and Johnny’s daughter, Lyla, was born by c-section on October 28, 2003.

In the Instagram Live with Susannah, Trinny recalled Lyla's birth in the Lindo Wing in London, the British royal family-approved maternity ward. 

"I was in this lovely corner room at the Lindo with flowers everywhere... and when my epidural wore off, I asked if they could put another one in - I liked it! The nurse said, 'girl you are the first one who ever said that to me!'"

After 10 years of marriage, Trinny divorced Johnny in 2008. They remained good friends until Johnny died by suicide in November 2014.

Speaking to Mia Freedman for an episode of No Filter in 2019, Trinny recalled how she told Lyla, who was 10 at the time, about her father’s death.

“I had [help from] an amazing woman named Julia Samuel who has written some incredible books on grief, really amazing and she’s very well-known in England for helping people through that period,” Trinny explained.

“When Johnny died, my sister came around – so the police came to tell me and my sister came round, Lyla was at school – so by the time she came back from school there were some other people in the house. My sister called Julia and said ‘Can you come round?’. So Julia came round and came to talk to me and she said ‘Just for now, tell [Lyla] he had a heart attack in his head.’

“So [Lyla] came back and she couldn’t understand why there were people in the house. I knew I had to get her upstairs, and I wanted to get her upstairs in the bed. So we laid down in bed and she said ‘What is it, what is it?’, you know, that sort of sensing.

“I said ‘Dad has died, darling’ and she screamed like an animal. The whole house heard it, and the friends of mine who were in the house just remember that. They all remember that animal scream.”

Trinny was already with her partner Charles Saatchi when Johnny died, but she explained how she worked through her grief.

"I wasn't with Johnny anymore, I was already with the person I'm with now, but we were good friends and there were times in Johnny's life when he wasn't that well, he suffered from addiction. When he was well, he was like my best friend and when he wasn't well, I wanted to protect Lyla tremendously from that," she said.

"When he's well he's such a great guy and very loved and the father of my child. I think grief, however somebody dies, there are those traditional, classic stages of grief and you know, you go through pain, anger, you go through lots of things and you do get to a stage of acceptance.

"With suicide, you might think it's a harder way to get to a place of acceptance, but I know there was nothing I could've done to stop him. I think that's something a lot of people struggle with."

Trinny and Lyla in 2019. Image: Getty.

After Trinny and Susannah ended, the two women went their separate ways professionally.

Susannah appeared on two reality shows in the UK, I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! in 2015 and Strictly Dancing in 2018. On both occasions she was nominated to leave first, and she recalls the experiences as rather embarrassing.

She has also written two novels, as well as her memoir, started a podcast and continued to raise her three children with husband Sten on their 120-acre property in Sussex. 

“These days the person I am now loves solitude, isolation, hates crowds, doesn’t love socialising unless it’s in small groups," Susannah told Sam Baker.

"I am a housewife and a mother, living in the countryside and not too worried about my appearance but keeping healthy and fit and continuing to over-love people and suffocate them with love!”  

Trinny's life as a CEO and mum of now 20-year-old Lyla appears as busy as ever. After launching Trinny London as a 'digital first' beauty brand in 2017, it has gone from strength to strength with a huge range of makeup and skincare products sold mostly direct from the website and other online stockists.

Any time Trinny and Susannah reunite, calls flood in from fans for the iconic duo to make a return to television thanks to their obvious love for each other.

"Life is about these friendships with your female friends and having that - is the most important thing," Trinny said in her Instagram Live.

We hope they bring their unique brand of posh British friendship and fashion advice back to the small screen soon.

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your general practitioner or in Australia, contact Lifeline 13 11 14 for support or beyondblue at 1300 22 4636.

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

This article was originally published in October 2022, and has since been updated with new information. 

Feature Image: Getty/Instagram @trinnywoodall