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Oh.
Osher has no time for bullsh*t tonight.
He drops the global pandemic bombshell and explains to the women that their future influencer careers are now in serious jeopardy.
"They're saying you might have to get.... jobs."
The women are shocked they've just spent the last four weeks calling each other sl*ts for... this.
WHAT
THE
HECK?
Osher explains that at the moment the women can stay in the mansion and filming can continue/they can continue to call each other b*tches and sl*ts.
It's group date time.
Roxi, Izzy, Bel, Maddie, Irena and Bella go on the group date, while the rest of the women watch it on the TV and eat some #sponsored snacks.
The women are introduced to a psychic medium named Alison who is going to tell them who will end up on Bachelor in Paradise and who will fade into obscurity.
Alison tells Locky he's going to have a baby boy and he's very excited about the prospect of throwing the small child off a cliff and also out of an airplane for his third birthday. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
All the women's dead grandmothers communicate with them through Alison and not one of them tells them to stop embarrassing their entire living family plus their ancestors on national TV, which is... surprising.
Alison then tells Bella she's going to have a baby boy too. Ghost-based spoiler pls.
Oh good god. This is inappropriate. Alison tells Bella that an older male who had cancer is communicating with her. Bella explains that her grandfather has cancer and could have passed away while she was in the mansion.
Bella goes outside, calls her family and finds out that her grandfather is in fact still alive. Yep, they just used a potential dead grandparent for drama.
Later, Alison tells Bella she needs to believe in herself more if things are going to work out between her and Locky.
She tells Roxi she's "hard work" and that Maddie has the attention span of a goldfish. She says Bel and Locky were together in a past life when Bel was a wartime nurse and Locky was her patient.
Then a ghost touches Locky and it's unclear whether it's the ghost of wartime nurse Bel popping by to say 'hooroo' or one of the many grandmothers who visited earlier.
Bel gets a rose because of that time she nursed Locky back to health during the war. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Locky turns up at the mansion on a motorbike and takes Roxi on a single date to the bach pad.
They sit on a feelings couch and Locky asks Roxi whether she's a "jealous" kind of person and sir, let us show you the hours of footage.
They kiss and then Roxi tells him he's a very innocent kisser, and she'd like him to BEND HER LIKE A PRETZEL.
Osher blushes from the bushes.
It's motherflippin' cocktail party time and Laura is "adjusting the girls".
Roxi and Locky arrive and Roxi says she's ready to have a good time and not get caught up in any of the bullshit... that she will inevitably cause in about five minutes.
Osher arrives and announces that five women will be going home at the rose ceremony.
The women pull out knives and guns and entered into a standoff as Locky takes Bella for a chat.
Locky tells Bella he was so worried about losing her after the producers click baited her grandfather's potential passing. They kiss.
Roxi gets wind of it and it's time for her daily cry/storm off. She runs off crying and Locky takes her for a chat and tries to explain the rules of the show to her. She doesn't seem to... understand.
It's rose ceremony time.
Laura does not receive a rose. She says Locky could have had a f*cken trophy wife and she's fumin'. FUMIN'.
"What a f*cking joke."
Charlie does not receive a rose probably because of the mud bath. idk idk.
Two women I have literally never seen before do not receive a rose.
Areeba does not receive a rose, and she decides it's because he likes 'basic girls".
Well, there goes 50 per cent of the drama.
BUT WAIT.
THERE'S MORE.
Osher pulls Locky aside for a chat and tells him that this whole pandemic thing has really ramped up and they have to send everyone home.
Osher goes inside and tells the women it's "just television" and no sir, it's true love and also fodder for thousands of gossip columns.
The women tearfully think about all the teeth whitening endorsements that are getting further and further away from them now.
"I need to know about the free snacks situation."
The women say goodbye to the alpacas, the free YouFoodz and the ghost of wartime Bel and leave the mansion.
UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.
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