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Mamamia recaps The Bachelor: This show is becoming more ridiculous by the minute.

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We open on Locky having a cliff think. 

Nicole has evoked the power of the TRIPLE THREAT ROSE so she gets the single date. 

She's afraid of heights so Locky has decided to make her abseil down a cliff face and then... climb back up once he realises it's a "dead end". ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

GURL. Get on Tinder. And go to the local food court for a date. 

There's an easier way.  

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Once they reach the top of the unnecessary cliff and avoid certain death, they kiss. 

Back at the mansion, the women are doing some stretching/having a b*tch. 

Later, Locky and Nicole sit on a feelings couch and talk about their feelings. Locky decides Nicole is a "pretty cool chick" and she's definitely going to make it through the first four weeks. 

It's group date time, and it's that wonderful time of the year where Osher creates a ridiculous sport and giggles from the sidelines. 

Areeba has turned up at the group date when she wasn't invited and it becomes immediately clear that she's locked Juliette in the basement and assumed her identity. 

This year they're playing "Bachelor Gridiron" which seems unnecessarily violent but ok. It's also raining because of course it is. 

SO. CHUFFED. WITH. HIMSELF.  

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Despite Areeba holding Juliette against her will and assuming her identity, it's Roxi Locky is impressed with. 

Noticing that Roxi has caught his eye, Charley decides to take down Roxi. The rest of the girls pile on and Roxi walks away limping, covered in mud. 

AGAIN. TINDER. FOOD COURT DATE. 

Osher giggles in the background while Roxi plans her revenge on the "little b*tch". 

Roxi is named the MVP and gets the alone time with Locky. 

They sit on a feelings couch and Locky gives Roxi a rose. Then Roxi tells Locky about that time she had a sex dream about him.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Roxi arrives back at the mansion with her rose and in an unexpected twist of events the women are annoyed that she didn't kiss Locky. 

Areeba has released Juliette from the basement and now she and Kristina are ready to hear her side of the story. 

They all decide to make up and be friends again. 

The alpacas are... confused. 

"THESE B*TCHES BE CRAY."  

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Nicole arrives at Locky's for her bach pad date because apparently all her dates are in one episode?

They cook hot chips and gravy together which sounds like the perfect date tbh. 

It's cocktail party time. 

Roxi is stressing out even though she already has a rose and Areeba, Juliette and Kristina are judging her for causing... drama. 

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They decide to work together to get Locky's attention again because it worked out so well last time. 

Nicole arrives with her rose and Roxi is confused as to why her boyfriend is dating 17 other women. 

Juliette takes Locky for a chat while Roxi stares daggers into her back. 

Osher abruptly ends the episode here because... suspense. And also... drama. 

UNTIL NEXT WEEK. 

Catch up on the rest of our recaps here: 

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