reality tv

"The way you speak to women, it's not right." This is what good men look like.


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Watching last night’s episode of The Bachelorette, it was impossible not to feel angry, upset and just straight up grossed out by the behaviour of contestant Jess Glasgow.

The Noosa local politician (though maybe not for much longer) took creep to a whole new level and was spectacularly booted from the mansion in a kick arse feminist moment by bachelorette Angie Kent at the end of the episode.

But while everyone is – rightly – talking about the actions of the 37-year-old wannabe mayor, there are others we should also be paying attention to.

Watch Angie’s epic take down of Jess. Post continues below video.

Video by Network 10

If Jess makes us feel despair, many of the men in the bachelorette mansion, Carlin, Timm, Matt, Jackson, Haydn and others, should make us feel the opposite.

During the group photo shoot date, Jess was dressed up as a literal horse’s arse when he told Angie: “Don’t mind me if I get some wandering fingers, alright?”


Watching on, Timm and Jackson discussed just how disturbing it all was before one of them (or maybe Carlin? We didn’t see who exactly it was on camera) yelled at him to stop being a sleaze.

Next, while lined up to take a group photo, Jess said, “Hey, have a look at my view” while making biting motions as he was crouched down beside her.


While watching another photo shoot between Angie and Jackson, Jess said that if it were him he would've "laid one on her, just slip the tongue in". He then made comments that Angie must be "turned on" and "up for it".

Season favourite Carlin told him to shut up.

Later on at the cocktail party, the men were discussing the photo shoots when Jess said that if he had a chance, he would have "just grabbed that sweetie and laid one on her", before adding that he wouldn't have minded if Angie didn't want him kissing her because he had kissed plenty of girls who have turned their heads away. He laughed as he spoke, as if it was funny.

The group of men sitting near him - Glenn, Haydn and Tom (with one m) - directly called him out.

Mamamia's daily entertainment podcast The Spill speaks to Angie Kent. Post continues below audio.

After hearing the conversation, Carlin told Angie about the "creepy" and "sexual" stuff Jess had been saying about her behind her back. He also revealed that Jess had been hitting on female crew members.

When informed that Angie was going to pull him aside for a chat, Jess said "bring it on, bitch" and was instantly cut down by Matt.

"The fact that you talk about women like that and the way you speak to women, it's not right. Don't sit there and call someone a bitch, it's disgusting."

matt the bachelorette
Matt, BMX rider and feminist icon.

But while questions should be asked about why a man like this made it through the casting process and onto our screens in the first place, and why producers did not put an end to his time on the show after his harassment of female staff, it was heartening to see the response of the other men.

We saw reactions of horror from at least 10 men in this episode. We saw most of them call out the behaviour to Jess' face.


There was no 'boys will be boys'.

There was no slaps on the back.

There was no 'it's just locker room talk', a la United States President Donald Trump.

Surrounded by 17 other men, Jess thought he was in a 'safe space'. Protected by a culture that allowed him to talk shit about women and call it banter, where he and the lads could make sexually explicit comments, call Angie a bitch and say they were just 'having a laugh'.

He was comfortable. And he didn't expect to be anything other than praised and admired.

But ignoring bad behaviour is condoning bad behaviour, and the rest of the men on The Bachelorette showed that they were not willing to let it stand.

The other men identified Jess as a creep, told him to cut it out and even tried to explain to him why he was being inappropriate. Carlin also made sure that Angie was aware of what was going on behind her back, and it culminated in the greatest, most empowering moment we've seen on reality TV, maybe ever.

"You never talk about me as a person. You always talk about me like a piece of meat. If a man can't accept and respect what I'm putting down, I'd rather be single for the rest of my life," she told him, as he continued to smile and make excuses for himself.

the bachelorette australia jess

He lied and denied and acted like he was a victim. But we saw it. Angie saw it. The other men saw it.

Last night we were reminded (not that we ever forgot) that yes, creeps like Jess exist.

But we also learned that there was only one man in that room who considered that behaviour okay. And most importantly, they were willing to do something about it.